dear santa....

hahahah!
I would +rep you but i have to spread it around first.
:rofl:

 

Dear Santa

As you read this thread I know that making your list of who is naughty and nice may prove to be difficult.

I request that you with hold making the list and just grant each of them their hearts desire.

There is always next year to decide on naughty and nice.

Thanks in advance
Heather

PS If you could find in your goody bag a new pair of pillows for me, it would be greatly appreciated.

Please give the reindeer's a hug!

 

Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year, I would like the following :

Some support hose, preferrably in taupe.
A new Whip, mine is worn out.
Some bubbly gum.
Kleenex to put in the sleeve of my sweaters.
Butt plug to help stop my constant farting.
A lint roller.
Silly Putty.
A Hamburger Happy Meal Gift Certificate.

Thank You
Help yourself to my weed...
Hairy

 

Dear Santa, you gotta lose weight this season because we forgot to scrape the chimney.

 

Santa Claus
101 St. Nicholas Drive
North Pole, Alaska 99705-1099

Dear Santa,

After a bitter five-year estrangement from her family, my wife received her grandmother’s eulogy in the mail. Her father sent it with a note that read, "Here's a copy of the eulogy I read at her funeral bitch."

Santa, this was how she was notified of her grandmother’s death - We have attempted several reconciliations but with no success.

A month later, my wife died at the age of 36 — depressed, suicidal, and suffering from black lung disease. Her family blames me for her death because I allowed her to work at the coal mine to help support our three children. Not a single relative of my wife attended her memorial service despite having received formal invitations.

Santa; I hope I’m not asking too much but if you could stricken her family with the bubonic plague I’d really appreciate it.

Warm regards,

Hotwater

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyuijCL23dM"]terrorize elf - YouTube