Cyber Love With The Bloodninja

I don't do siber sex, that's for nurds.

 

dammit lodog, you must remember

 

I'm not a performing monkey for you people... er um... copy and paste monkey.

 

yes you are dammit. Don't deny who you are lodog.

 

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with tha homies and shit.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6:: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...
J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You dipshit.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr

I guess I can't deny.

 

murph_304: hi
murph_304: there
bIond_n_a_vette: hi ya stud
murph_304: hows your cat
bIond_n_a_vette: hungry for your manhood
murph_304: so how did you afford to get a vette..??
bIond_n_a_vette: i worked a lot of hours on my back, want ride me?
bIond_n_a_vette: i am more fun to ride in than my vette
murph_304: Hmmmmm, really?
bIond_n_a_vette: yes
murph_304: how old are you.?
bIond_n_a_vette: 23
murph_304: and what do you look like..??
bIond_n_a_vette: blond, with big tits
murph_304: where are you from..
bIond_n_a_vette: houston
murph_304: damn, a long way away.... but i wish i was there........
bIond_n_a_vette: want to have sex over the phone?
murph_304: it will cost a fortune............
bIond_n_a_vette: ill call you then
bIond_n_a_vette: whats your number?
murph_304: but i'm from sydney, australia
murph_304: not even in the us
bIond_n_a_vette: i dont care, i want to hear your manly voice
murph_304: i cant at the moment...... but add me to your friends list and maybe we can later..
bIond_n_a_vette: its now or never
murph_304: Whats your name anyway
bIond_n_a_vette: Ralph
murph_304: Ralph..????????/

Fuck it. I'm running a two for one special today.

 

Ahahahahahahaha. Thank you kindly lodog.

 

Holy Shit that was funny! Bloodninja is my new hero.

 

this conversation has also been found between the names "Boy" and "Girl"
sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKHEAD!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go **** yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a FUCKing asshole!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

Last one I swear.

 

this thread is olllld, isnt bumping old threads breaking the rules? *puts on mod hat and bans you*

 

Well... depends on if it's off topic... and it looks like we're on topic with bloodninja

 

*bans you too*

 

PMPL!!!(Pissed My Pants Laughing)!!!!!!!!

 

That last one was sooooo fucking funny I fell out of my chair at the end.

 

hotstud69: Hello there
blondebabe4u: Hi
hotstud69: What is your name?
blondebabe4u: Sandy , urs?
hotstud69: Bob, nice to meet you.. what are you doing tonight?
blondebabe4u: Nothing, just chatting, u?
hotstud69: not too much, just sitting around... what are you wearing?
blondebabe4u: oh just my thong and a tank top.
hotstud69: oh wow, I would love to see that, what do you look like?
blondebabe4u: I am 5'6" blonde hair, green eyes, 120 lbs, you?
hotstud69: i am 6'0" 175, brown hair, blue eyes, and tan
blondebabe4u: you sound very handsome
hotstud69: how about I pull that tank top off?
blondebabe4u: Oh Bob, i would love for you too....
hotstud69: Oh yea, those look great... they feel nice too
blondebabe4u: yes bob, my 36D's like that, you are good
hotstud69: oh yes, they feel so good, I am squeezing them..
blondebabe4u: yes bob, you know what you are doing.
hotstud69: Oh yea, I am getting so excited
blondebabe4u: need me to help you there Bob
hotstud69: oh yea, let me unzip for you
blondebabe4u: oh wow bob, you have a nice one
hotstud69: OH SHIT
blondebabe4u: What?
hotstud69: SON OF A BITCH!!!
blondebabe4u: whats wrong?
hotstud69: Got it stuck in the zipper...
blondebabe4u: What?
hotstud69: oh god, I am bleeding.....
blondebabe4u: bob, are you ok?
hotstud69: OMG... OMG...
blondebabe4u: Bob??
hotstud69: I am feeling faint... blood everywhere...
blondebabe4u: are you ok?
hotstud69: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
blondebabe4u: what bob what??
hotstud69: IT FEEL OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
blondebabe4u: fell off?
hotstud69: it is on the floor, laying there... I am looking at it, damn, thought it would be bigger.........
blondebabe4u: call an abulance...
hotstud69: I can't
blondebabe4u: why
hotstud69: Because I am on the computer
blondebabe4u: well get off
hotstud69: the last time tried to get off, my dick fell off........
blondebabe4u: bob??
blondebabe4u: bob??
blondebabe4u: bob??
hotstud69: has left the room

heh. My man never really knows when to quite... Here's another.

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

 

i think i'm in love. that's my kinda man.

 

LOL! Now I know why I was born.

 

damnit I fucked it up!
http://ohinternet.com/Bloodninja/logs
here's a link of all his shit if you think it was funny. I sure as hell did.

Bloodninja : I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.

Sarah19fca : mmmm, okay.

Bloodninja : I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.

Sarah19fca : Yeah I like it rough.

Bloodninja : I smack you thick booty.

Sarah19fca : Oh yeah, that feels good.

Bloodninja : Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja : I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.

Sarah19fca : you like that?

Bloodninja : I peel some bananas.

Sarah19fca : Oh, what are you gonna do with those?

Bloodninja : get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.

Sarah19fca : Peanuts?

Bloodninja : Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.

Sarah19fca : What are you talking about?

Bloodninja : I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.

Sarah19fca : This is stupid.

Bloodninja : Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja : Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja : Yeeaahhhh.

Sarah19fca : /ignore

Bloodninja : Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
Bloodninja : We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.: