cutting, im curious

Wow Panzer. That's some heavy stuff. Self loathing is usually a loathing of one's circumstances turned inward. So instead of self hatred, try spending that same energy on figuring out what is upsetting about your life.

Keep going to the hospital. They can help you. Talk to friends, family, people on this site, anybody around you or that you have access to. They can help you too.

If you need some one to talk to, I'm here. There are alot of other people on this forum who would be willing to make the same offer.

Talking about your issues can do alot to help your situation.

 

Sometimes I do it out of anger toward myself, or a situation.

 

I was curious too... I cut my finger... It hurt like hell... Cutting is pointless...

 

I used to cut... it was the only way I could make the emotional pain go away. I started doing it around the age of 16 when I was raped, I found it to be a great way to release emotional pain and became addicted. I used to carry a razor blade "just in case". I kept it hidden from people for the most part, wore hoodies often in highschool. The father of my first two children found out, was very against it, I tried to stop... things started falling apart with me and him, and I started again. The last time I really REMEMBER doing it was when I cut myself deep enough my shirt was soaked.... he called my parents because I locked myself in the bathroom. I was scared, but I didn't want them to know....

I've slipped up a few times, but nothing like that... I can't actually think of the last time I done it other then then, but I know I've done it. It's been a long time.

I thought about doing it again the other night, things have been so stressful. I cried for almost an hour and it was like my whole body ached, but I know if I let myself do it again, it will become a habit again that I do not want to get back into.

 

i just screwed up. it was almost a year and i just cut myself. it's seriously addicting. even when i wasn't doing it all i could do was think about it. i guess you could compare it to a drug but it's different. drugs don't keep you feeling this good for so long

 

... im slightly but not really hemophiliac.... i couldn't cut if i wanted to

 

my shrink gave two possible reasons -- the desire for the aforesaid beta endorphin rush that happens thereafter; or a subconscious belief that if i can survive cutting myself, then no one else can hurt me: a sort of failsafe method.

yeah?

 

I know this post is old, but I'm new to this forum site, so I guess ill reply just to reply.

I have struggled with cutting since I was about 12. Its really hard to explain but I began to cut to make me feel alive, I was so mentally numb back then.
It became my only coping method to the point that I always carried my "tools" everywhere in a little planner thing, I was so scared of losing control.

Now I haven't cut in about two days, but before that I hadn't cut in about a year. I threw out my "tools" after this last time and have never felt better. BUT it is like a addiction so I know this will be rough exploring other coping methods, but I can do it!

 

I've never cut. But my therapist says I'm doing the equivelent when I maim my hair.

 

I used to cut a lot when I was in highschool. I had a lot of traumatic things happen to me which messed with my head and made me hate myself. There was so much going on in my head I would cut myself to release all the shit going on in my head. It would feel good for awhile and I felt the blood running out was all the negative coming out from the inside. But thinking that way was how I got addicted to it. I don't do it as much now but if I'm really stressed or upset, I will cut a couple light lines. I'm trying to find another outlet.

 

I'm a cutter. I've always found that the pain of physical wounds are a lot easier to deal with than the physical ache of emotional wounds. It sends a rush and numb and it's like a high. It becomes an addiction.

But that's true cutters, the ones who have a real problem with it. The people who do it for attention just really want that attention.

 

for me it is not really about cutting but the feeling of burning...whether it actually be by me burning myself with something or small stinging cuts have that burning feeling work if there is nothing to burn with..if i am really stressed and upset and am crying or freaking out or whatever it may be that feeling just seems like all of that just drains out of that burn and releaces it from me...it makes me feel so much better...i guess it can be kinda like doing a drug ..i have never been addicted to a drug like that but i immagine that it would be something like if you were withdrawling and then you took some and you immediately feel better