co-worker flirting

free2fly · Sep 18, 2006

Haid said:

Yes, the kids do suffer from a divorce. There is no question there. They can also suffer from watching and then modeling bad relationship skills.

Ok, Here it goes: YOU WERE CHEATING ON HER, if only for two months. SHE WAS CHEATING ON YOU, if only phone calls. You see anytime you are doing something behind the other ones back it is CHEATING. So lets end that train of thought.

You have two choices here. You make your marriage work or you seperate and make the most out of your life. In nether of these two situations is screwing the work girl in your interest. How is losing your job going to help you any?

1. If you want to stay with your wife. Cut out ALL of the flirting and show nothing but disinterest in the work girl. Sit down with your wife and have some serious conversations about where your lives are now and where you want them to go. Forget all the past and agree to a new beginning and then stick with it. Don't keep bringing her mistakes up over and over either because you are guilty of the same thing even if it was after she did it. You can work through all this and have a happy marriage but it won't create itself and it would take both of you.

2. If you want to leave your wife. Leave her so that you can be HONORABLE in your actions. Do so with the least amount of pain to the child as possible and don't fight or say bad things about her. Once you are living alone and have your self established again, start dating. DO NOT date the girl at work though. It is not worth your job. Also, you need to find a woman that can help you along your lifes journey not throw in more pain and confusion. Do you really want to be with a girl that is the office slut. One that is willing to fuck married men? Where do you see that leading you? It will lead no where. If you just want to get laid to feel better that is fine once your marriage is through. Just don't get it mixed in with work. There are sluts available out there that you don't work with.

Truely, I am not insulting you and I know how you are feeling. My wife was having secret conversations with another as well. Once it came out, I wanted revenge plus a whole lot more. After thinking about it though I realized I didn't want a divorce just the behavior to stop. So we started dating again. We talked like we hadn't talked in years. It was great. I realized we were both leading us down the path to divorce. We turned it around and the last 3 years have been great, even the trust issues are now gone. It is possible but you have to decide which path you want and work towards making you life happy either way. I just don't see you finding that happiness with this chick, IMO.
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This is excellent. Very balanced, honest advice.

DrHoffman · Sep 19, 2006

why you guys psychoanalysing me here?
damn u all should go start ur own show like dr phil and ophrah winfrey...

Poem~Girl · Sep 19, 2006

its true you can't handle the truth you in denial?

Haid · Sep 19, 2006

Ok, let me just make it easy on ya:

You want to fuck a slut. Tell the slut you want to fuck her, then fuck her.

I guess I am missing what advice you are even seeking here. Surely by your age you know how to get a slut right? So what are you asking?

purple-moss · Sep 19, 2006

DrHoffman said:

lol

how can i get her to sleep with me? if she acting "not" interested?
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haha....dude she is flirting with you because she is bored at work....your her amusment and forget trying to sleep with her....she most likely will not even go out on a first date with your lame ass......even sluts have standards

DrHoffman · Sep 20, 2006

MAYBE

purple-moss said:

haha....dude she is flirting with you because she is bored at work....your her amusment and forget trying to sleep with her....she most likely will not even go out on a first date with your lame ass......even sluts have standards
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DrHoffman · Sep 20, 2006

I FEEL BAD NOW, I'M not DOING IT

Haid said:

Ok, let me just make it easy on ya:

You want to fuck a slut. Tell the slut you want to fuck her, then fuck her.

I guess I am missing what advice you are even seeking here. Surely by your age you know how to get a slut right? So what are you asking?
Click to expand...

DrHoffman · Sep 20, 2006

yeah baby u know me like an open book ...

Poem~Girl said:

its true you can't handle the truth you in denial?
Click to expand...

Jenny_420 · Sep 20, 2006

free2fly said:

Ok. First of all, you WERE cheating. You may not think so, but Ill bet your girlfriend would have thought so if she'd known. Why do guys think they have to be having intercourse with someone for it to be cheating???... Sheesh. YOU dont have to be having sex for it to be cheating. It IS cheating on an emotional level. If you were doing your flirting at work, email, phone etc without your girlfriend being aware of it, its cheating. If you were doing it behind her back because you thought it would bother her to know, its cheating. ...

If your talking to another woman so much with sexual intention WHILE you are involved with someone else ... its cheating. (besides the ONLY reason you havent had sex with this other girl yet is because she backed away, not because you were such a good boy... )

The fact is, you are IN A RELATIONSHIP, until its over. Dont assume that its ok for you to flirt around because you think your current relationship is almost over. Your girlfriend may not even know how you feel about that. She might think things are fine with you two. So dont kid yourself.

You were going behind your girlfriends back, telling yourself it didnt matter because you think the relationship "is reaching expiry date...so i'm not cheating or anything" ... and THAT is kidding yourself.

um ... so lets go back to the beginning. Its a bit late for this, as the damage has already been done, but do your girlfriend a favor, and tell her about what youve been doing, and BREAK UP WITH HER, please?? You should have done it when you first began flirting with this other girl....

I mean why are you still in the relationship, anyways?? If you want to flirt around, MOVE ON. How freakin lame. Break up and move on. Save your girlfriend the wasted time being with you. She probably does care and you dont even know it. Your too busy off flirting.

And at least the girl at work had enough decency about her to back off, because yeah, deep down, it even bothers the slutty girls! to disrespect a relationship. Cuz if your going behind your girlfriends back and flirting around, good chances are, you will do it to a new girlfriend, too.....

And thats the kind of guy a girl cant trust.

Probably best if you stay out of relationships and just stick to playing around with other like-minded players. Because your just in it for fun, and you are going to hurt someone.
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First of all I totally agree with this person right here...

second of all.. why does everything have to be about sex! I am pretty sure there are better things then sex... and you are sorry to say this a "pig" cause the one thing about relationships are that you have to beable to trust the person that you are with... and if you are off flirting.. gosh no one will want to be with you... cause boy! girls to talk and we talk a lot your name will get around any you will be wishing you did not do what you have done..! so why don't you just break up with your girlfriend and tell her you are sorry that you are a cheating asshat.. and go off in a cornor and beat it out.. cause you are just being stupid!... you have a girl that likes you and you are cheating on her.. that is so stupid!

DrHoffman · Sep 21, 2006

ok people, well i really appreciate all your constructive comments about this situation, I understand how it affects kids.

thanks, i really appreciate it...

DrHoffman · Sep 21, 2006

well this is a good answer, i've decided to stop the communication with my co-worker, yesterday I saw for myself how our fighting affects my kid...

as for you others, esp the ladies, thanks for the advice but you were wrong to revert to insults and calling me scum...

caio caio...i'm off to denmark until november!!

Haid said:

Yes, the kids do suffer from a divorce. There is no question there. They can also suffer from watching and then modeling bad relationship skills.

Ok, Here it goes: YOU WERE CHEATING ON HER, if only for two months. SHE WAS CHEATING ON YOU, if only phone calls. You see anytime you are doing something behind the other ones back it is CHEATING. So lets end that train of thought.

You have two choices here. You make your marriage work or you seperate and make the most out of your life. In nether of these two situations is screwing the work girl in your interest. How is losing your job going to help you any?

1. If you want to stay with your wife. Cut out ALL of the flirting and show nothing but disinterest in the work girl. Sit down with your wife and have some serious conversations about where your lives are now and where you want them to go. Forget all the past and agree to a new beginning and then stick with it. Don't keep bringing her mistakes up over and over either because you are guilty of the same thing even if it was after she did it. You can work through all this and have a happy marriage but it won't create itself and it would take both of you.

2. If you want to leave your wife. Leave her so that you can be HONORABLE in your actions. Do so with the least amount of pain to the child as possible and don't fight or say bad things about her. Once you are living alone and have your self established again, start dating. DO NOT date the girl at work though. It is not worth your job. Also, you need to find a woman that can help you along your lifes journey not throw in more pain and confusion. Do you really want to be with a girl that is the office slut. One that is willing to fuck married men? Where do you see that leading you? It will lead no where. If you just want to get laid to feel better that is fine once your marriage is through. Just don't get it mixed in with work. There are sluts available out there that you don't work with.

Truely, I am not insulting you and I know how you are feeling. My wife was having secret conversations with another as well. Once it came out, I wanted revenge plus a whole lot more. After thinking about it though I realized I didn't want a divorce just the behavior to stop. So we started dating again. We talked like we hadn't talked in years. It was great. I realized we were both leading us down the path to divorce. We turned it around and the last 3 years have been great, even the trust issues are now gone. It is possible but you have to decide which path you want and work towards making you life happy either way. I just don't see you finding that happiness with this chick, IMO.
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Crystalsatreehugger · Sep 21, 2006

i think alot of women here take it personally because most of us have dealt with cheating scum ourselves and want to vaporize any man capable of it off the planet.... and well i wish we could.

but in your case it's great you figured out your children are whats important and nothing can fuck with a kids head more than what love is 'suppost' to be.

more power to you for that.

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