Yep. We often see a reduction of breastfeeding success (when the first day or so it was going fine) after a circ. Why? IT HURTS LIKE HELL! The baby doesn't feel like eating, EVERY position to hold him hurts, nursing stimulates bowel movements and urination, which HURT LIKE HELL, the baby tries to sleep, nearly constantly, to avoid the pain and the horror he just underwent, AND it is believed that babies cannot determine between themselves, their mothers and others. If he is HURT, he may be thinking "mama did this to me" so he's pissed off on top of it. It doesn't keep him "clean" It isn't a parents' "personal choice" (beacause it is the BABY'S choice, not the parent's) Even in "Religious" situations, a "Bloodless Bris" can be done. All the ritual, none of the cutting. I've been to one, it was beautiful. Some Moyels will lightly tap the baby's toe or finger with the scalpel, or some will do it to the father's finger, to "simulate" the letting of blood, but even that isn't neccesary. A LOT of Jewish people choose NOT to cut up thier little boys. A lot of them. There are NO problems in locker rooms ect. My son (now 15) is intact. I asked him, several years ago, if his skin was ever a problem, a debate or disccusion ect. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Ma, you don't talk about, much less examine an other dude's dick in the shower room. Any dude that would do that would be the one called the names, not the intact dude." He said he had never had anyone say anything to him about it. As for it "not hurting as much when they are babies" YES it does. But babies just can't tell you, In several studies which measure pain, babies feel pain even MORE intensely as adults do, they do this Silent Scream thing, where they scream so HARD that they lose their voice, It is HORRIBLE to watch. Then, they often conk out, due to the trauma. Similarly to what happens when someone is sexually assaulted. Horror, followed by unconsciousness. It hurts a baby JUST AS MUCH as it hurts an adult. Only an adult can talk about it, the baby suffers alone.
ok i completely agree with everything you guys are saying, and I really don't want to harm my baby in any way. but i just talked to my bf about it, its the first serious conversation we had about it, and it turns out he really is going to push for it. he really wants it done. he thinks it will be a lot easier for our son in the long run. i didn't think he had a very strong opinion about it either way. he had to leave to do some work and whatnot so we didn't really get into arguing about it. i'm really not looking forward to it because i know hes going to be really really stubborn. I just have to get my facts together, and really encourage him to look at it with an open mind. he is just so stubborn. he kept saying that it didnt do him any harm, and that the baby wont even remember it and it will be easier in the long run. i just don't know.
it seemed like he was almost insulted, like because i don't think our son should be circumcised i was suggesting there was something wrong with him, because he is. which is not the case at all obviously.
I do not yet have children, but my boyfriend and I have already decided we will not have it done. My boyfriend is cut, and still won't have it done. Infact, as we were researching circumsision he wondered if it was possible to restore his (it is, sort of, but with muuuuch less feeling). It's much easier to later in life choose to have it removed, than to want it back. Someone said to compare what the difference in sensation is for the man is, rub your fingernail against the top of your hand, then rub it against your palm. Circumsision is one of the things I hate most about this country, because if you can't even treat your babies right, what can you do right? I don't mean that personally for those who choose to circ, I mean that it's considered the fucking norm to, and most people don't even know to question it. My friend's sister had a baby a few years ago and he was born with very swollen balls so they couldn't circumsize right away, and she took him when he was like 6 months old to have it done. The only doctor who would do it was about ready to kill over of old age, and all the patients in the waiting room were basically senile. She said she could hear her baby wailing, even from the waiting room. I was so shocked and disturbed, I still am.
I think that if the father of your child is insisting a circ is the way to go, you should FIRST sit him down to watch those youtube movies - all of them. Like Holly said - full volume, no skipping, no closing his eyes or plugging his ears. (including the part at the end of the third movie discussing the baby who was killed) And if after reading this thread and watching those movies he still somehow thinks it's a good idea, maybe you should ask him if he wants to be in the room, while it's performed. If he's too squeamish to stand there and watch while a doctor mutilates his son's penis, he shouldn't even talk about it.
My husband is cut, our two sons are not. It wasn't really an issue...we looked into it, and decided against it. kMarie...you said your "boyfriend" (not husband) wants it done? You are the mother, all the decisions are legally yours to make unless he wants to take you to court over this. You may not want to argue with him about it, but think about what he is pushing for...violence on a tiny, helpless baby...
Also, if he is supportive of your breastfeeding, any at all, he'll reconsider. To me, a mutilated penis is not worth all of the potential BFing problems you could face *and the ultimate failure, if the problems become insurmountable*....just seems ridiculous....
KMarie - YOU are the mama! No offense to your partner, but who gives a shit what he thinks? He is welcome to have part of his OWN penis removed, but he doesn't have the RIGHT to have part of your baby's penis removed. If you have a girl will you have HER circumcised? Why are girls allowed genital integrity, but not boys? Also, your son can always get circumcised later, if HE wants to. But once its done, your son can never UN do it. It can never be taken back. PLEASE don't circumsise your sweet baby!!!!!
yes, i know we are not married yet, and so the choice really is mine, but we are in this together. Im going to talk to him about it and get him to decide for himself that its wrong, I'm not going to just be like "no. thats the end." because he will never get the facts straight and he will never know it was the right thing to do. However, if it comes down to it in the end I know that it is my choice. I couldn't have said it better. This really was one of the things that confirmed my choice... not only would i want to risk bfeeding success, but if the baby is in such a state of shock and pain that it would effect him in such a way then obviously this is not the right thing to do. and I also feel like it would be betraying his trust in some way. It is my job to protect him, I have been carrying him and protecting him for so many months, how could I let someone take him from me and mutilate him in such a way, with my consent?? I couldn't. thats what it really comes down to. I know theres no way I would be able to sign those papers. Theres no way i would let them take him from me, knowing fully what was about to happen to him. i've already gotten a lot of stuff together for him to read. a lot of articles and discussions and stuff. and I will make him watch those videos, I even found a few more that I think will really help convince him. I just can't expect him to respect my opinion if I don't respect his right to an opinion, and this is his baby too. But I don't think he will have much of an argument. There isnt one.
Could I speak... as one who did have her son circ'd and regrets it to this day? I was pretty dumb when we first became parents. We didn't have a computer or internet yet, and I believed everything the doctors told me & truly believed that they knew best. I let them put all sorts of things into my son's body I may never forgive myself for, and yes I let them circumcise my son. My poor baby boy cried... not just for awhile, but for 12 whole hours. He literally cried himself hoarse. I was very lucky that it didn't impact his nursing, but he was miserable for 3 weeks. He lost something like 12oz, (which was a huge issue since he was "underweight" to begin with) and he barely wanted to be held - or clothed - that entire time. I had been told that it was "standard practice," and given the huge scare about infections... and hadn't learned to double-check anything the doctors had told me yet, so we went ahead & just had it done. I even heard "since your husband is circ'd you should have him circ'd too so he doesn't wonder why he looks different." Wanna know a secret? Boys don't stare at their fathers' penises past about 4 years old... that was probably the biggest joke ever. And if he'd have wondered why he looked different - they don't even have the same colored hair! My son is fine now. (as much as I can tell... I don't exactly check up on his bathing anymore) But I still remember those LONG weeks while he was healing, and wish that I could go back and put him back together. Unless you're Jewish... which I'm assuming you're not since we probably wouldn't even be having this conversation otherwise... I can't think of any reason to have it done. love, mom
It's so refreshing to hear so many people standing up for boys' rights to intact genitals! My son is intact, just the way nature intended, even though his father is circ'd. I get sad even looking at cut penises, at the scarring, the keritinization, the too-tight skin. Nature knows best!
So, I'm evil. My daughter JUST had a boy and still hadn't decided what to do. So, just for a hoot, I asked the nurse to explain to my daughter why boys were circumsized at birth. She said it was mostly for "cosmetic" purposes. I laughed so hard I nearly cried!!! All I could think of was some one pointing at it and saying "what a pretty penis you have"....... Needless to say, she decided against it.
it is sort of true though. there's a statistic out there that something like 90% of women say they prefer a circumcised penis. just because it is so accepted here. true, they might not know what theyre missing, and the only reason they prefer a cut penis is because theyre so accustomed to it, but it is still something to think about. Many people still circumcise their babies for completely cosmetic reasons. and I can see where they are coming from. I don't think it's right, but i see the point.
i talked to baby daddy last night about the whole circumcision thing. i said i would like it if we could discuss it because i am rethinking my original opinion on it. he kept saying "but it's gross not to be circ'd" or "it's dirty" or "it just looks better to be cut" so i told him about the research i have done and all of the points everyone has been discussing why not to have it done. eventually, he came around and we have come to the decision (together) to keep our son intact! i'm so happy! it's funny though, the thing that really got him was when i said what if there are complications and they mess up? i mean, it does happen. he didn't really like that idea at all! i am really glad that i stood up for my son. and i didn't even have to show those dreadful videos!
i had my son circumsized for several different reasons. one is that when my husband started to potty train him and notice that daddy's wee wee was different from his i didnt want him to feel embarassed or different. another reason is that when he is an adult and he did want to get circumsized it would hurt a bit more (because he would be concious of what is going on) and that when he did start having sex he would come across several problems if he didnt care of himself properly. so i decided to get aiden sirsumsized so that he wouldnt remmeber the pain and all.
Actually, men who are cut have a LOT more problems in the bedroom than those who are intact. The foreskin is there to provide lubrication, and to keep the head of the penis covered and protected. When a boy is cut, the head of his penis becomes rough, almost like a callous, from rubbing on pants and underwear, therefore making it harder to stimulate. Many women think they are at fault for problems with sex (not producing enough lubrication, not being "tight" enough, so the man needs to be really rough, etc) when in reality, its because the man is missing a large part of his penis.
did you have any problems? did he heal and recover well? did you breastfeed him? did you notice any problems bc of the circ? have you regreted it at all since?
