Chatical Chat Envelopment

i want my garage back. i want my cigarette smoke-free house back. i am reaching the point where i really dont even care where my mom ends up. i dont want her here, i dont want her around me, i dont need her anymore. shes making me hate her. its so nasty. and our utility bill is $133 again. usually its between $70-90 high end in the winter. shes an extra $50 a month. then theres the fucking groceries. she gets food stamps, but she gets butt hurt if we ask her to bridge the gap. she is blowing through butter at an exceptional rate. "i know i use a lot of butter..." then maybe you should buy it, bitch. i have to clean my whole house. there is a BABY coming! i would have liked to have had it all done by now, before its a huge struggle for me to move or lift things, but oh, no, because i cant put anything in the garage, and anything currently in the garage has to be scoured down. because hey, where else would i have been keeping all the baby clothes? the big stroller? the bottles and baby "stuff" that i took the time to fucking keep?

i hate it. hubby is upset that my relationship with her is being destroyed. he doesnt understand that i havent felt the same way about my mom since her brain damage. she shouldnt have lived. but if she kicks it now my dad will probably off himself too.

 

damn that's hard ML...



my house mate has such a bad morning cough. smoking too much for years.. he knows I hate them, so he doesn't even smoke near the house anymore, maybe in his rig. He is trying to quit we have talked about it... but its tough as hell.

seriously sometimes it sounds like he is going to pass out from such a deep cough.. : /

 

You can both try getting the smokers you know to switch onto snus.

Swedish Match, (the company that has been bringing proper Swedish snus to the US) is currently in a legal battle with the FDA to allow them to put stickers on snus which declare it to be a safer alternative than cigarettes. Which is what the scientific data thus-far points to.

Obviously there is still nicotine being consumed, but snus is prepared in such a way as to reduce Tobacco Specific Nitrosamines (TSNA's), which cause cancer. The only type of cancer which has been tied to the use of snus is pancreatic cancer, and even that is a small margin of risk compared to cigarettes. And you avoid the smell/coughing.


Anyway, just a thought. Lots of people don't want to switch to snus because they don't like the idea of tobacco in the mouth, or they can't get over the habits associated with smoking (inhaling smoke etc). It's understandable.

Either that, or vaporizer pens. However I'm still waiting on more research before I proclaim those to be safe. Although they are very, very likely safer than cigarettes.

 

shes got a hacking cough too. shes smoked most, if not all of my life. she smoked around us, so whats the problem, right? um, no. my fucking house. "I" quit smoking for my pregnancy, more than 9 years ago now. except for after my firstborn twin died, and the stress drove me back to it for a little while. but i have been a nonsmoker for so long. i just chose not to do it. she doesnt seem to care. asked for permission on the way to the hospital the other day (fucked up her back on the bus) hubby granted permission, because she cant smoke in the hospital, to smoke in the car. yesterday, they go to the grocery store, and she just fucking lights up! "well it was okay the other day..."

no! its not ok! its not okay that you get up a half hour before anyone else, commandeer the coffeepot, and make the whole house reek of smoke, because hey, we wont notice if we are still sleeping. um, No. it does not dissipate. we can still smell it, even if she cant. we are going INTO DEBT to get solar panels so that we can mitigate her usage, but i still cant plug in my freezer, it would use too much energy, even being an energy star appliance. she leaves lights on, in the whole house. shes got 2 alarm clocks, a phone, her cell phone chargers, a tv, a dvd player, all plugged in in the garage, all phantom draining. shes blown the circuit once already, running the hair dryer. im just so fucking frustrated. she moved in middle of august. lied about staying sober for months. i thought she would be gone after her first court date, in october. . im done. i need to talk to my dad, but she doesnt want to move home. she wants to find her own place, up here. to find a job, up here. im like "why?" i dont fucking need her. she raised me to not need her, and i fucking dont. shes not supposed to be leeching off of me. we were doing well, we were making progress on bills and we are not energy wasters. we dont buy useless crap. of course now, we cant get any time alone unless we go out to eat. we cant fuck comfortably in our own home. we cant walk naked through the house, or play naked tag while the boy is at school.

we cant even open the windows on a nice day, because it just pulls her smoke in. cant run the house fan, same reason. the residue on my stuff is disgusting. she bitches about not being able to put stuff away in the kitchen, stuff that used to life on shelves in the garage. crockpots, dutch ovens, paper goods. cant keep it out there anymore. what part of "you are in my fucking way" do you not get? argh!

i dont know what i would do if i couldnt bitch here. she accidentally turned on the broken burner on the stove the other day too. taking a page from satan's manual. im going to have to take the turn dial off. tried to get the coil out once it cooled, but i couldnt. as it was i had to put a pot of water on it to absorb the heat.

 

i dont think she would switch to snus. cant afford her smokes as it is, started rolling her own even. she has a vaporizer pen, cant afford the refills. plus, has the audacity to use that shit right in my living room. exchanging some chemicals for others, i dont know if i trust them yet either.

shes lost enough people in her family to cancer, lung and mouth among them, she knows better, she doesnt fucking care. i told her that second hand smoke is one thing directly linked to increases in SIDS deaths, and while the research isnt all in yet, thirdhand smoke is looking to show the same link. ive already lost a kid. she claims to care, but like any addict, is caring more about her wants and vices.

 

Aye, fair enough. Money is certainly always a factor. Sounds like a pretty tough situation, hopefully you can find a place for her quickly.

Maybe there is some consolation in the fact that you've probably pissed her off royally when you were a child who didn't understand what was and wasn't appropriate. Not that it excuses her actions, but it's another part of the cycle of life I suppose..

 

i was the good kid. im sure i got on their nerves, but i listened. i started changing little brothers diapers when i was 5, was babysitting alone by the time i was 7/8. could make dinner, do chores. worst thing i did was climb in a mimosa tree that wasnt really strong enough to support me. i loved the little blossoms. had a messy room i guess. but yeah. i wasnt a rotten enough kid to have it be consolation

there wont be any places for her quickly. she needs income based housing, doesnt have any income yet, and the housing market is ridiculous because everyone wants to move here. everyone wants to be able to buy pot at the store, and not worry about getting arrested. so the housing prices, up up up, and income based is very limited.

 

I want a new tv but by no means can I afford it cause im trying to save..

My is great, its a 32" and its in my room...

I want a 50 then id put it in the living room... ehh maybe at the end of summer... but I gotta sell my current first...

 

I should have a yard sale. Spend a day on the entire property and sell everything I can.

Id have a great place cause of someone I know, for the public to stop by and look without having to follow the trail of. Only problem is I would have to load up everything and move it a mile away. So I gotta sell it so I don't gotta haul it back home...

"YARD SALE FOLLOW HERE"
"ON YOUR RIGHT" "
"SECOND LEFT"

you gonna make people.... wtf fuck this shit.. people show up no buy that expensive.

but like a drive through, can make money id think.

 

"are you _(insert name here)__?"
"yes."
"we are LDS missionaries...."
"im not interested."
"even for an easter message?"
"i dont believe in easter. have a nice day"

it bothers me that i have been targeted, that these people showed up, for ME, knowing my name. i contacted an ex-mormon friend of mine to find out how to get off their stalker list. for fucks fucking sake. i am comfortable in my lack of faith. i find comfort in not believing. i find comfort in believing that this is the life we get, and when its over it will be blessedly, blissfully ended for me. finito. period. full stop. ended. no more pain or memory or suffering.

GET OFFA MY PROPERTY!

 

This is not directed towards you ML, or anyone. Your post just reminded me of it for some reason..


Mother Nature is a serial killer. No one's better. Or more creative. Like all serial killers, she can't help the urge to want to get caught. What good are all those brilliant crimes if no one takes the credit? So she leaves crumbs. Now the hard part, why you spend a decade in school, is seeing the crumbs. But the clue's there. Sometimes the thing you thought was the most brutal aspect of the virus, turns out to be the chink in its armor. And she loves disguising her weaknesses as strengths. She's a bitch.

 

This past Wed, when I was getting the rear brakes and "frozen caliper" fixed, me and my bff were riding around with her grandkids. We saw the most bizarre (to me) and good and awful thing...buzzards feeding off in a field on first, a what we thought was a deer and then on down a bit there was a GROUP on and above, in trees and wild growth, feeding on a cow.

:yikes: that was something

 

What a Great Title!

I cut 3 mats out of my girl's head...the largest being bigger than a pill box hat...it was about 6 inches in diameter and a solid 1 to 1/2 inches across, everwhere.

lordhavemercy...

but she/we didn't shave it. hell no...I can't imagine letting that happen, since she desperately didn't want that....

(Shaving was basically the only option she was offered by a couple of so-called professionals. ) lol

I cut it into the cutest curly pixie ever, is the best way I know to describe it. It's longer than either of us thought it would or could be. Shorter in the back than in the front. So cute :gorgeous:

I wish I could post pics. it's really amazing.

Anyway, the important thing is she knows not to go anywhere else but to me for her hair, and to follow (only) my advice.

 

:sultan:

 

Dang if this hasn't been a hell of a week of character development. They are just working the crap outta me.

:wheelchair:

The past 2 days I've worked over 9 hours, and that was with a break.

If I fuss that's not good...but lil bossman has given me 2 more additional hours tomorrow night...


I saw it on the schedule last week, but acted like I didn't know it...so the supervisor didn't notice it either.

But dang if he didn't put me down til 1 in the freakin morning tomorrow night again. wth is that about... then I go in Monday at 11:30am. I've seen a LOT of people go, leave Mickey D's for other employment. Its just that aside from the long hours, I really like my schedule quite a lot...I just wish the hours were shorter. Its like they believe in working me til all the goodie is gone.

But I'm not broke.

 

how long are your breaks?

mine at work in our 8 hour shift we take a 10 min break after 3 hours and 15 minute lunch. We still on clock... and most of us would just rather eat and go instead of taking a actual break... cause once we sit down and eat... we want to sleep.. its its better to work, focus on the drive home... then enjoy food and such...

 

YES! I love that song! Just got done playing some epic guitar tunes myself. Mostly freeform solos. Jumped from E to G to idk some sharp or flat note? 2 frets up from an open chord. Then busted out with a deep dark blues jam. Good times! Wish someone was around to hear it.

 

Breaks are 30 minutes. They give you a $2 or less sandwich, small fries and a drink.

I am So Tired of standing and being ON I look forward to even the smallest break, especially 30 minutes in a row, to not be ON...

To not be smiling and punching the exact right thing on the dang touch screen or jump for a drink cup or just what the hell ever EVERYBODY NEEDS AT THE SAME TIME - it is So Good to not have to do that, I will take every single break I can. I get/.take only the 30 I'm given, or probably lil bossman wouldn't be giving me all these hours.

dang work ethic thing.

there are some lazy ass people in this world, and some crazy nut cases too. The crazy nut cases usually aren't lazy.

I mean that in the nicest way possible.

 

I'm a sort of crazy nut case myself...they just don't know it. or maybe that is a (hidden) job requirement to stay there. lol

I tried to hide that I was trainable, but damn if they didn't figure it out anyway.

 

we are only crazy to those that live by falling in line.