Change

man, i was just deciding not to join the military. coming off a knee surgery...started down the road of abusing alcohol and pain killers. i was a mess mentally and emotionally.

5 years later...i'm still trying to figure out if i should or should not join the military...much stronger physically and not afriad to push the limits with my knee...no longer abusing alcohol, nor do i remember the last time i took any pain killers for recreational use. and no longer messed up mentally and emotionally.

 

yes a lot. i have a lot more confidence in myself and i have a lot more experience in all aspects i have been able to go trough.

 

my pay increased. i had another kid. I started taking a stronger look at the next 30 years and trying to define what I want it to look like. I went from 160 lbs to 197 lbs. (back down to 188 since quitting beer) with the many beers I consumed. Bought two houses. Sold one. I guess my core self hasnt changed much but my surroundings have.

 

Everything. Lol. My looks, thoughts, beliefs, intelligence, family, friends.

 

5 yrs ago I was pregnant-much much has changed.

 

5 years ago I was about to be a senior in high school. I was dating a rich kid from Amarillo and lived the high life that summer. It was freaking sweet. Exactly 5 years ago today we were probably making plans to go on our road trip to Dallas. I still lived at home, I didn't have a job, I was firmly AGAINST pot smoking. I had just drank for the first time ever, Boone's Farm Blue Hawaiian at my friend's 15th birthday party...I think I was finishing up recovering from the first and only surgery I've ever had. It was probably one of the best summers I've ever had, by far. It makes me really really miss all the people who I used to hang out with.

 

i've changed alot
i'm alot less social awkward and shy, alot more confident and sexual
i'm not afraid of the things i was when i was 16/17
my friends have changed, my tastes in music and clothing has changed
i have titties now
i'm alot more mature and wiser but with that comes the jaded bitterness as well
i'm less fucked up in some ways, more fucked up in others

 

I was probably drinking with my band.

The beer was free.

The other guitarists family owned the biggest brewery in the country.