Can anyone relate to a grief/loss forum?

Loss.. yeah.. been there, done that. My first love commited suicide when I was 16, going on 17. Cutting myself helped releasing the stress that I could not vent anywhere else. Friends at school seemed shallow at that point and my parents and I didn't go along that well so.. still have a scar of a little heart in my upperarm.. like a symbol for how it left a scar on my heart. I'm passed that now, although it gave me a permanent sort of irrational fear of loosing a loved one, which is hard sometimes.

I love this saying of a buddhist master: "life is like stepping into a boat that is about to sail out to sea and sink".. hehe.. that's basically it. The first dead person I saw was a 4 year old child when I was about 8 or sth like that.. saw someone die upclose (father of my ex-boyfriend, he had MS).. death and loss seem to be a significant part in my life, or at least my youth. It's ok.. it's life. Makes you cynical sometimes, but usually it feeds your spirit, your strength and in a weird way, your sense of humor.

 

I'm sure we could all relate...as death is a part of life. Whether it's a miscarriage (had 3 or 4...ha and ya thought the fact I had 7 kids was over-whelming/amazing), or a grandparent, or even just a friend.
The real question is would members want to talk about it here.

 

Fuck!!! I've been fine for quite awhile....another tough day, really hard for many reasons. But, it's been nearly a year and I miss him so much. It's so much emptiness, when you think everything is ok for months, it hits you again all new, all over again. It's more than i can take now.