Broke Up.

Try and think through it logically:

1) You don't even know how strongly he feels for you yet?

2) You're young and I'm not sure why you're tying yourself down to just one boy. I know this sounds so parent-ish. But how can you actually believe this is love? What has HE done to prove to you that he is worthy of you waiting it out? If anything, he's been nothing but honest with you. Either suck it up and move on, or be prepared for.. whatever you're clinging to?

3) A wise old woman once advised: "Always be with a man who loves you more than you love him."

Quite Machiavellian I must say and I did think her quite a bitch when I was younger. But those words have stuck with me, funnily enough. And now I cannot agree more. With a pinch of salt, of course.

It's your choice. I personally think you're a bit scared of losing something you've tasted for the first time. Take it easy, there will be more. I know it's hard right now but time does its thing, and you never know with life. Let it surprise you. Whatever choice you make, I think you'll eventually make the right one for you. Maybe a few twists and turns but that's the only way we really learn.

All the best.

 

i love you mucho!! and i am sure *boy* will relaize how much he has lost....hang in there girlie and call me if u need me!

 

I dont agree. I cant agree. Im 16 and I can only imagine how she feels.

Guys, only the thought hurts! I really, really, really wouldnt know how to move on.

She loves him too much to think about this like you are saying she should.

 

But man, she should try to stay with him. She is old enough and she love him.

My opinion...

 

Becouse I thik she want to stay with him.
And becouse I think that she wont be happy if she just say "Ill go on".
So... Why you are trying to show that love is trivial and that we shoudnt try to keep it?
I like things to be romantic and I dont care about stuff like "Life is cruel and love do not exist". Im too much an optimist for that

 

I don't think InsaneJester was trivializing it but rather trying to put things in perspective. I know it's a bit annoying saying that she should get over it (I'm guilty of it too) but honestly, NOT everything is about love. I don't think it's right to say she'll be over it in a month and no less. It's not reassuring at all and you have no way of truly knowing how someone may feel or can feel long afterward.

She knows what she wants. And if anything, it's probably better to err on the side of caution. "Love and optimism" to the point of recklessness or over-romanticising is ridiculous also, IMO. You both bring up good points but are a bit extreme on opposite sides of the spectrum - that's just me. To the poster, just take care of yourself for now, yea?

 

i understand both points of view.

i know i have to move on, and im trying my best to. But I AM at a lost, which i guess goes without saying.

The reason I am so torn is because my brain tells me that this is just one of many heartbreaks to come, and that the sooner i move on, the sooner i can be happy again.

But then my heart tells me that I have found something real. I can survive without him, but at this point in my life, he makes me so happy. I dont have the best circumstances, just as anyone else, and hes the only person that can put a smile on my face after the worst of times.

I've decided to call him one last time, not sure when, and tell him that he needs to make it clear what he wants. I need closure, I am living day to day with his promis of "i will call you soon and we will see where we are." I'll probably tell him that I love him very much, but I cant put my heart through this torture any longer. Either he will tell me that hes sorry and tell his dad that theres no reason why he cant just be with me, or he will tell me its over.

I need to end this feeling of waiting, my days drag on and everytime the phone rings or i see a car that looks like his, my heart sinks. Everything reminds me of him. Everything.

Thanks for all your feedback, keep it coming. it really is helping me, i appriciate it.

 

here's the problem

sweetie, it's not up to any person to make you happy. If they have that kind of control over your feelings, they can (and invariably will) make you feel really miserable as well. It's up to you to be happy. There is no prince charming going to come riding into your life and save the day and then you both will live happily ever after. that's codependent bullshit. You are much better off without him, if you really feel that way.

But, there's no reason you have to get over it! Honestly, if you can just up and move on without being upset, you haven't learned whatever lesson the universe was trying to teach you. There are lots of things we don't get over, ever. And that's not a bad thing. You never really get over the big losses in your life. The pain gets easier to live with in time, that's true. But it never completely goes away. It's there as a reminder. Sometimes it's just a reminder for us to remember the good things. Sometimes it reminds us of our mistakes so we don't go repeating them. A lesson learned doesn't just go away. It stays with us forever.

 

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))) dietcoketree

I hope you will feel better soon!

 

me too. i hear you all too well. thank you.