Boyfriend Bad in Bed

thank you, his eden and liguana...great advice. I think the reason he gets so defensive when we try to communate is because for a while it turned into a BIG deal. I think I talked about it so much that I made it seem overblown to him..like all i cared about or something, which isn't true or i wouldn't still b with him. Since none of know each other personally...i think the reason behind all of the frustration...he was sexually abused as a child. I don't think love and sex go together for him. kind of the opposite..almost like if u love me/ we don't have to sleep together...sometimes he seems to love it..others hate it...but never wants to give oral or even touch my vaginia. He wasn't abused by a woman...why does pleasing a woman seem so frightening or gross or whatever to him? I truly don't think hes gay either...although i have wondered...

 

I had a bf who was repeatedly molested as a boy by a grown man and he still gave me his all.
Love and sex don't go together for alot of ppl but we don't have those kind of hang ups so that's not an excuse.

Has he ever gone down a woman? Maybe he had a bad experience. You could try taking showers together and have him scrub you down there so he can be certain himself that you're clean.

When you make love with him masturbate in front of him. This will serve 2 purposes:
you'll get off
he'll see how to stimulate you.

Other than that just cut sex out of this relationship. You'll have to put your foot down on this, he can't get the feedback that he can get something for nothing. You're not being mean like you said in one of your post, not any more than he is being mean anyways.
When cuddling in bed you need to mention that is all you want, cuddling. You can engage in heavy petting and such but hold off on the sex. He needs to get so desperate that he'll do anything.