Bi men and aging

KDaddy23:

Too bad that more of our elected officials aren't as "true to themselves" (and also, to the American public) as you are; damn, we'd be living in pretty much a Utopia!

Anyone who knows you (whether through the inernet, or in person) could never doubt your integrity, nor doubt your straight-forwardness.

We need more men of your high calibre today, for certain...................

 

If elected officials aren't being true to themselves, that sounds like a personal problem they have - and the same with the public. We see too much bullshit when talking about bisexuality and rarely any in-your-face straightforwardness and I tell it like I've learned and experienced it; I don't add sugar to the mix because sexuality is serious and not something to be trifled or played with; I tell it like it is because no one did this for me and I got lucky and didn't get all fucked up in the head - but I did get out there and learn it.

It's still not rocket science...

 

Amen, brother!

 

Further:

If a man (regardless of orientation) cannot be honest with HIMSELF, how can he reasonably be expected to be honest with OTHERS?

Bisexuality, like any "mature" aspect of an adult lifestyle, is NOT a game, and there is NO room for bullshitters who APPEAR to "talk the talk" and "walk the walk", when, in reality, it is nothing but a blatant display of "PUB" (Pure Unadulterated Bullshit)

Too many so-called "mature" adults seem to enjoy "playing games" with others....just wait until the day comes when they get their long-overdue payback.......

 

I get that there are guys who think of sex with a guy as a fantasy and they're content to leave it as such or, "It'd be nice if I had a chance to, but - here comes all of the excuses why he wouldn't suck a dick if he had the chance to and some of them are, as you say, PUB. Some guys think it's a kinky game to play... with their wife. Try getting one of those guys to suck your dick when she's not around! Some guys can talk the talk... and can't even crawl, let alone have the balls to walk the walk. For many men, it's not a lack of maturity - it's a lack of self-confidence; it's continuing to be afraid of something that your rookie bisexual isn't afraid of.

There are the men for which this is a way of life - and then, there's everyone else. And, yeah, if you'd lie to yourself about things, what else could you be lying about? Karma is a bitch, too...

 

Then, too, as we all know, HOW does a bisexual/gay man KNOW for CERTAIN if a potential FWB/partner/buddy is being TOTALLY honest with him?

NONE of us, of course, are equipped with our own personal lie detector; instead, we must rely on "gut feelings" and common sense.

Potential lies:

"No, I'm clean....no STDs."

"No, I'm not married."

"You're the only guy I 'play' with."

Even I know, that, even with brief "flings" and "one night stands", caution must walk hand-in-hand with instinct, gut feelings, and common sense.

These days, you simply do not know who is 100% trustworthy with you.........

 

It's why this is more of a trust issue today than it's been in the past and I've found that, as an adult, I've had to employ more instinct, gut feelings, and common sense than in my younger days - and much more today than when I turned 18. You have to become a good judge of a man's character; you have to be able to sniff out any lies he might present and even the little white one some guys say - "I've never done this before!" - then you find out that he was the go-to guy when other guys wanted their dick sucked or they wanted to fuck. These days, guys have taken being discrete and turned it into paranoia and to the extent where it's almost impossible for them to trust a guy and even when the guy is being totally honest and, as such, nope - they ain't getting the dick they want because they can't trust themselves to trust somebody else and they're looking for that ready-made FWB who is, in a word, perfect.

Yeah, right. I remember when both men and women were demanding to see the paperwork where you got tested for STDs/STIs and accepting it as proof of cleanliness until something dawned on me about this. Sure, you went and got tested and the results came back negative... but if you're getting tested every three months and as recommended, showing me that you tested negative a month and half ago doesn't mean that you're not positive for something nasty right this moment so, yeah, I don't have a lot of faith in "show me the paperwork" since all it says is that on the day the tests happened, you tested negative. That was then; do you know for a fact that you haven't contracted something since then?

Is it possible that there are guys out there who are infected and it's giving them a thrill to infect others? Yeah, it's possible but what are the odds of you running into such a person? Even I don't know that - and this is the part of the program where, if you didn't learn how to trust your instincts and did your due diligence to know what to look and, sometimes, smell for when someone is sick, well, learn how to do these things. I've never had the clap but I have heard too many guys talk about how badly it burns and smells to high heaven and the longer they waited to hit the free clinic, the worse it got and, yeah, some guys were stupid enough to have sex with someone even though they felt the burning when they peed. So I kinda find it hard to imagine that a guy is gonna have the clap, is going to endure those symptoms, and he's still out there having sex but, yeah, it's possible if not highly unlikely.

But guys hear these horror stories and assume that just because it happened to some other guy, it's a guarantee that they will get infected if they have sex with some random guy and, again, they'll be safer with a dedicated FWB and it's crazy for them to believe that and, I shit you not: I know a guy who wanted to suck dick but he was convinced that if he even touched another man's dick, he was going to get infected with HIV and die. It's this kind of thinking that forments an environment of distrust and we have the very bad habit of taking the worst-case scenarios as the gospel truth for everything.

But digging into the truth of things is part of the due diligence you must do if you wanna have sex... with anyone, to be honest. I've had to pick my jaw up off the ground to hear guys losing their shit about sucking a guy's dick - but they will dive right on into a woman's pussy and not give a single thought about how potentially dangerous that environment is - and all because some women are asymptomatic when it comes to STDs/STIs or they can have a yeast infection and not know that they do until the symptoms present themselves... and if they do at all.

Funny how they'd trust a woman but not trust a guy, huh?

 

KDaddy23:

EXCELLENT posting, as always.

It is weird as hell that you mentioned guys who are infected but who knowingly infect others men for the sheer warped thrill of it; years ago, I came across a website ( all highly-erotic m/m stories) called, I think, "The Breeding Zone".

At first, I thought that these were strictly m/m "bareback" stories; well, my friend, let me tell you that, after a few minutes of checking out the story links, I bolted for the door.

The stories were all about guys fucking each other to infect other guys with HIV and AIDS, as well as a guys LOOKING to get "bred" by infected guys!

To say I was TOTALLY appaled was indeed an understatement; I have found out that, thankfully, this totally-warped site is now defunct.

Beyond bizarre.

In basics, I truly believe that ANY sexually active gay or bisexual man should indeed experience testesterone-charged, highly-erotic m/m sex with unbridled passion.......BUT.......do so by knowing WHO you are doing (and who is doing you) and if they are leveling with you concerning matters that could be quite serious in both the short and long-term.......................

 

Where I live, if you are infected with anything and do not tell your partner that you are - and you don't use protection - you can be arrested and charged with attempted murder and there's no taking a plea deal. You're going to jail unless you can prove that you did inform them and... have fun with that one. So, at least here - and in some other states - going around and deliberately infecting people could potentially get you a life sentence depending on how many counts are levied. Let's see if you think it's funny when you could go to prison for the rest of your life.

I'm not surprised at how... depraved some men can get when they find out how good it is to get some dick - and you never discount the power of one's imagination or what sexual act is going to make them cum in their pants - but is something that no one in their right mind would ever think of doing. Sometimes, you... just take a chance on a guy because he "feels" right. It doesn't, however, mean that you can't slap a condom on him just the same. Yep, you need one for anal and no matter how much you trust him; oral? Not so much because the CDC says there's only a 4% chance of catching something nasty in your mouth and they tell you the situations and conditions when that is possible. Guys read this and... lose their fucking minds and are convinced that if they meet some guy at a bar and they suck his dick, they're going to get infected, guaranteed. What they don't pay attention to is there's a 96% chance that the only thing you're going to catch is a mouthful of cum. What guys don't seem to know is that a guy doesn't have to cum in your mouth to potentially give you something nasty - all you have to do is suck his dick and partake of his pre-cum and, if he's infected with something, you could be, too.

Guys go about this with the presumption that all guys come pre-installed with HIV1&2, AIDS, and every STD/STI known to exist and if that's making you laugh, don't - because it's inherently stupid for guys to think like this and this bullshit's purpose is to make guys have... relationship sex and, again, like this makes them safer... and it might not and this has been proven time and time again. I've been having sex with guys since I was 9 and... zero STDs/STIs and no HIV and I've gotten more dick than most guys have gotten pussy - and I've gotten pussy, too, so if you want to believe that casual sex is unsafe, know that if you're having sex, you're already not safe and the only way to be guaranteed safe is to not have sex with anyone. Ever.

I find it hard to say no to people when they've offered sex but I'm smart enough to know when I have to. Instinct, gut feelings, common sense, and what I've learned about people and the science of catching something nasty - what to look and sniff for - has kept me free of any of the bad stuff which is good since I love to have sex with unbridled passion. Bold. Adventurous. Fearless... but never careless or stupid about it. And you don't get to be my age and having had all of the sex I've had and remain disease free without learning some stuff about how to avoid that shit along the way - and learning from the mistakes other makes and the social bullshit that guys tend to believe over the truth.

 

You, once again, bring up some very valid and important points, for certain.

I always thought it odd that (in m/m porno), a guy will suck another man's cock with NO condom, BUT, when he takes it up the ass, the cock fucking him is sheathed in a condom......(even with all the obvious precautions they take in the porn industry today, you still wonder at why it is OK to take a "raw" cock in your mouth, but NOT up your ass?)

When I was still working, one older fellow was "famous" for his female conquests (he was then divorced, with two kids); he screwed ladies from the workplace, prostitutes, you name it......the guy literally LIVED for pussy.

I will be honest and admit that I DID find him sexy, and he had a nice tight butt that I thought of quite a lot when I jacked.

Anyway........guess what?

After I retired, I found out that this guy had become seriously ill (I know he was also having sex with hookers in other countries when on vacation); add to that, his wife discovered he was also a big coke fiend (one of the things that lead to their divorce); that, plus his doing heaven knows what with "raw" pussy with no restraint, it is no wonder he ended up as sick as he was.

In all honesty, I had no sympathy for him.

Strange, that "straight" male co-workers used to salivate hearing this guy brag about all the pussy he was getting; they thought him a REAL man.

BUT....could you imagine if he were GAY (or bi) and also screwing GUYS?

They would have thought him a degenerate and a pervert!

All in all, when a guy (REGARDLESS of orientation) screws with abandon with NO protection and NO restraint, he is, literally, playing Russian roulette with his dick............

 

Yeah, well, you have sex, you're playing with your life and the person you're having sex with. On the whole, having sex is safe for the most part provided you are all about maintaining your health, seeing your doctor regularly, getting checked out for anything that might not be right, so on and so forth. If you're out there having sex and without any regard for doing due diligence - and like I've known some men and women to do - yeah, you could wind up so sick that you wish you were dead.

Sure, the guy who was getting more than his fair share of pussy was idolized and held in high esteem but who likes a braggard and one who just might be exaggerating his body count? He could be seen as a dog and a slut; even considered to be a male whore and a degenerate even if he only slept with women but if he did both? First, he's obviously and really gay so that gives him pervert status right off the bat. So he winds up being both a degenerate and pervert for (a) fucking so many women in the raw and (b) having sex with men. Honestly, I screwed a lot of women in the raw - mouth, pussy, ass - wherever they wanted to feel my dick. I was also screwing guys and, yes, taking the risk and... no STDs, no STIs, no HIV. Numbers in the 100s for both. With abandon, with passion... and without being stupid. Sometimes, you roll the dice and get lucky but the difference between him and me? One, I never bragged about conquests. Two, I stayed away from drugs like coke. Three I trusted my instincts and I'd slap on a condom (or make him put one on). Or I'd just say no and walk away because my gut instinct - combined with what I was seeing and hearing - said "Don't even think about it with them!" so I didn't. I've had sex with prostitutes... but I didn't pay for it and I knew they were clean and healthy since they were highly priced girls and you don't get to be one of them by giving your clients a disease. I had restraint thanks to my instincts. Real men don't need to brag about all the pussy he's getting...

 

KDaddy 23:

Right on!

Spot on!

A REAL man does NOT have to brag about his sexual conquests!

Sad thing was with the co-worker I'd mentioned, his faithful "entourage" used to practically foam at the mouth, when he'd recount his latest "conquests" in graphic detail.

Like a bunch of overgrown, horny 9th graders......geeze!

Again, I truly feel that listening to one's "inner instincts" and "gut feelings" is something NOT to be underrated.....NOT by any means.

After all, listening to your "gut feeling" sounding off alarm bells in your head MIGHT just be saving you from dire consequences in the long run.

"Proceed with caution" (just as the yellow aspect of a traffic light advises!).......

 

.......interesting to think of gay and bisexual men who are now well into their "advanced years", and STILL have managed to avoid STDs or any other unpleasant aspects of "casual" m/m sex throughout their lives, despite a lot of heavy "action"-----tells you that they have listened to both their natural "gut feelings" throughout their adult lives, as well as utilized their inbred common sense, and not let their dicks overrule the common sense so often taken for granted these days............

 

Thought:

If a bisexual/gay man is now in his "advanced years", and is STILL in reasonably good health, and STILL enjoying an active sex life (one that he has enjoyed for decades), well, he MUST have done SOMETHING right in his younger days! (he didn't get to be this old by being stupid!)

 

True enough but sometimes, you get lucky. I don't know how many times I had sex with a guy - then ran into someone who had sex with the same guy and the person said they got burned by the guy. Listen to girls talking and they're talking about guys who burned them and other who should be avoided at all costs was good information to have on hand. But, yeah, if a guy doesn't "feel" right, that's your instincts warning you that something's not right about him; he could be dirty or the wrong guy to have sex with and you learn to listen to these things and, usually, the hard way and I learned to listen after letting a guy fuck me and it was pretty brutal and demeaning.

Talking to guys who got burned; what it felt like to them and other stuff related to their symptoms; reading about VD (as it was called), the various kinds and including catching yeast infections from females. Learning what to look for to tell if a guy was sick with anything; understanding that some illnesses have a particular smell to them and, importantly, being able to tell when a guy was lying or hiding something. That level of due diligence kept me free from disease "despite" my great willingness to sleep with... anyone.

 

Obviously so, methinks. You get some dick, find it to your liking and you wanna run wild with it and you have to learn how to tell somebody, "No, thanks..." because of whatever reason makes sense to you; you always want the right guy at the right time and in the right place but sometimes, that's not possible or, just your dumb luck, a guy wants to blow you and you have something important to do and doing it later ain't possible so you say no and go on about your business and wonder what would have been like if it was the right guy, right time, and right place. If any one of these things aren't good, then no sex - and no matter how badly you want it.

You don't get to be this age by being stupid and careless. Some guys, yeah, maybe they get burned once but they learn from it but the guys who keep getting burned? Nope - you can't fix stupid. Being able to avoid this shit gives you a good rep and people learn to trust you not to give them something nasty, which leads to more opportunities to have sex...

 

KDaddy23:

Once again, simple, straightforward thinking and common sense are the tools (pun NOT intended!) to making sure a bi/gay man keeps safe, and not let his dick or his libido overrule.

Earlier, we talked about "double standards".......

How about all the "straight" guys who think fucking a FEMALE in the ass is HOT, but TWO MEN fucking each other in the ass is gross, vile, and disgusting.

An ass is an ASS, no?

Another "double standard", for sure, at least from my standpoint...............

 

My argument to those guys begins with... what's the difference? An asshole is an asshole so, yeah, if you'd bone a woman in the ass, you should be okay with boning a guy in the ass... except, that's way too gay for straight mindsets. Go have this conversation with a straight dude and take note of all the bullshit he's going to spout about how it's different when, again, the only real difference is the sex of the person being fucked in the ass. It exposes a fallacy in our behavior regarding sex in that we always think about the who - the person - and not give a lot of thought about what - the act itself. Thus, fucking a guy in the ass isn't any different from fucking a woman in the ass.

It's not a double standard; it's a total lack of understanding sex - period. The same with guys thinking that a dude blowing them is different from a woman doing it and... it isn't, but we've bought into the social propaganda that wants to steer us away from same-sex activities and citing how homosexual it all is when, um, you don't have to be homosexual and you don't really have to be bisexual: You just gotta want to do it. The double standard is it's okay for women to sleep with each other but not okay for men to do the same thing - and these so-called enlightened people here in 2024 still believe that tired old bullshit.

I've fucked men and women in the ass and the act itself isn't any different. Clean it, lube it, bury my bone in it until I cum in it and, whew, thanks - we both needed that! Porn will have you believing that all women want to - and like to - be fucked in the ass and the truth is... not even. There are both gay and bi men who aren't into anal because, um, they can't maintain an erection as to effect penetration or, yeah, that's some nasty shit - let's just stick to sucking dick, okay? Not to leave out the guys who tried it both ways and found it very much not to their liking.

Porn makes it hot; the reality is different. The guys who think it's hot would be surprised to know that they stand a better chance of fucking a dude in the ass - and they won't have to beg and plead to be able to do it. Sadly, we are a bunch of prudes when it comes to sex...

 

KDaddy23:

Yet another EXCELLENT commentary.

"....porn makes it hot; the reality is different....."

Man, if you didn't hit the nail right on the head here!

The same way porn makes you think that EVERY black male is hung like the proverbial horse (and that every black male is a TOP, in m/m sex)

The main issue is, i firmly believe, is that far too many of the "gullible" accept the FANTASY aspect of it all as REALITY.

And THAT'S when things start to get interesting............

 

Interesting and not necessarily in a good way as some poor unfortunates tend to find out. No offense but better them than me.