Attracting the beautiful girls

Listen to this man, he knows what he's talking about.

 

Chris, if you're still alive and reading this, I gotta tell ya..

Rather than holding all your thoughts in, go express yourself and talk to people. It's damn there the only way to show the girls that you're for real.

You've got to express who you truly are, on the inside. That way, a girl that would be good for you will see who you really are and will dig ya. Do you get the idea? I mean, please don't just discount this like it's bullshit.

You could try to at least pretend you're confident and make casual smalltalk with *any nearby girl* (nomatter what she looks like) every so often when you feel like it. Then you'll get comfortable with it after a while, and you'll be able to approach the girls more your style. Building confidence.

 

WhisperingWoods - practise makes perfect, no matter how sexy and handsome i am, i always talk to everygirl i meet and make her laugh, feel happy, and all kind of positive stuff, because not only she enjoyes this time, but i also gain something from everygirl, because in talking case, girls are the same, Its never that , girls with big boobs , or great body are different than with fat one. they are girls <3.

Jedi - you russian ? why tea , or kofe ?

IHMURRIA - your urge will come , after a alot of sex and spent years, you would want to have real life, and enjoy time with your own kids And i am not sayign yo uneed it, its just the way it is. Guys you like when you first meet them, didint start talking about some hot girls, sport, or other men's things , they started talking to you in different way , that you enjoyed conversation adn with that your interest in them rose Girls deserve having and enjoying good converstaion and life

 

heheh, right right

 

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the only person thats messing with you is yourself. you're trying to live this "badass, i don't take no shit from anyone, i'm tough..." persona, when you're really not all that badass to begin with.

you can loosen up and have fun, sounds like you're going to give yourself a heart attack by time your 20. there is time to be serious, but that isn't all the time -- and there is times you need to be tough and stand up for yourself, but again, that isn't all the time. what is so wrong with being laid-back? what? nothing wrong with softening up a bit

theres nothing wrong with talking and wandering off. its what people do. i do it, my friends do it. everything we talk about isn't serious

 

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Considering you seem to be constantly complaining about not having any friends or girls, maybe you should rethink your strategy.

 

I was just going to say, it sounds like you just need some good friends.

 

Chris - first step to succes, is to look good, no matter how smart are u, if you look ugly , ppl will stereotype you. First thing in succes with girls/women is too look attractive, good clothes shaved, good hair. And second theres always things to talk about, if you dont know girl, there are hundreds of topics you can discuss... but mostly you should talk abotu girls about her.. YOU ARE RIGHT , ask her about herself, becuase no matter what she says or how she acts, girls liek talking about themselves, talk about how is her nutrition, execise, places shes been, wants to be, why.. .GREAT question is WHY.. super flexibel you can add it to any topic and she will be talking for next 1-2 min plus just becausse u said why and she will like that be more flexible.

 

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I think you do need to reach out to something, but make it someone that you reach out to instead of alcohol. Talk to a counselor at school and tell them you're having a hard time with your social life. You don't even have to go into too much detail if you don't want to. They can help you, maybe find you a workshop to meet people and communicate the important thoughts that you are wanting to express to someone. They can help you to find a social network that you are looking for. They're social workers, that's what they do.

For example Chris, I have ADD. I was having a hard time at school one day and just walked in to talk to a counselor and told them I was having a bad day and told the person what was on my mind (which can be a lot if you have ADD). The counselor found me a mentor. She asked a student who had ADD and had already graduated to meet up with me for lunch in the cafeteria to talk about my life and school and whatever else was on my mind. He's become a good friend to me now, and we meet every month in the caf and talk through emails. It's really helped me.

You may want to suggest that to your school counselors. Tell someone at school that you are having trouble trying to fit well within your peers and you need someone to relate to.

I wish you the best.

 

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Hey chris man, i am sort of the same way, I know how you feel. I used to think it is my fault that people don't talk to me, or feel sorry for me. You see, I need to go to these Indian gatherings that my parents would drag me to ... I could relate to no one man. I tried, but i would studder in my speech, I would try to talk to girls , but they would just feel like I am hitting on them or something, even when i am not... so they would show an attitude...because (I know its hard to understand but its sort of frowned by parents when you approach their daughters for some reason go figure). People would ignore me, pretend like i am not there, or worse some would come and talk to me because no one else is talking to me... and make me feel even more bad.

All of these things man, I used to hate... and I could never relate to my American buddies either. I would always come across as dispassionate, disengaged in what they were doing. Everyone I know right now is only an acquaintance, because i can't relate to them...they are only hi and bye friends... I ask them how they are doing, they ask me how i am doing and thats it... no closure, no real friendship... they do come to find me when they need help, they use me and leave me be. Yet, they all have very close friends and I have none.
But instead of feeling bad, i realized something and that is, no matter how lonely I feel, I know that i have skills for something greater. I used this to study hard in my classes. I didn't really care for people, I just studied constantly, joined a club , went to gym maybe.. thats it... I made myself a goal to be a doctor , to get into medical school and succeed and i am close to doing it now.
So I think what you need is something similar. Friends?- they are only distractions, pretty girls? - waste of money, what you need is a goal that will ensure your future. Study , devote yourself. If you need to feel good about yourself, devote yourself to a cause- sometimes you meet people that way.
The only reason i have many acquaintances is because I used to volunteer to help out new people who come onto campus... especially international students. hence I know alot of people... So, do something social... get involved. etc.


but never feel bad, because once you go that road, then its like you are digging yourself your own grave. Say positive things to yourself, and try to do things that you like.

 

Also about judgements from people:

I realize that no one really knows who you are , or what you are. They don't see you constantly, they can't be you... no matter how much they try... so they can only have an idea about you by seeing you... that too for a very short period of time.

Hence, people's judgements are fairly inaccurate. One analogy would be jellybeans.. you open up a bag and if you like strawberry jellybeans you only eat those and leave the rest... people are the same when they start to judge others and that applies to every one of us.

 

Talking to people who are facing similar problems to you can do you tremendous good, it lets you hear about other ways of dealing with your problems, other strategies to manage issues.


And re the plastic surgery you mentioned... Chris, it sounds like your problems are internal, not external. Work on the inside first, the shells we operate from are secondary to our personalities

 

There are so many cool chicks out there with Aperger's Chris. There's an aspies site with chat rooms. I can get you the web address if you would like?

I know what you are going through I have DID, which means one day I'll be this crazy party girl and the next i just wanna be by myself and read. I can't remember the other side of me when I am one way as oppossed to the other. I also have adhd and can't sit still or have a long conversation without great effort. When I am honest with people I get close with and they realize I am a sincere person who is looking for deep friendships rather than a beer buddy they are very understanding.
I think honestly with yourself and accepting who you are will lead you to accept other and in turn those others will accept you.
Just remember all the great things that go along with aspergers-your smart, your logic and reasoning. I met a guy with aspergers at a conference once and I found him intriging, attractive, brilliant and succesful and can honestly say I would have dated him if we were in the same city. But he had done a lot of work to accept himself and others. I found it very refreshing to be with somone so honest.

 

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Don't worry about being skinny - some people just bulk up later. Or start hitting the gym hard now. Good way to take out that excess anger you seem to have, and you'll bulk up a lot. Plus, its a fairly easy way to meet people if that's what your into. "Can you spot me?"