Ask a stupid Question.. Get a stupid Answer

Because zombies have to look good.

Why do vampires always wear evening dress?

 

because the clotty blood they drink makes them lumpy so they have to even themselves out


so my mom's not around any more, should I buy a sexy or druggy poster from allposters.com????

 

i'd say neither but they're one of our advertisers. buy a sexy druggy zombie kitten poster.


how do i fix a hole in my toe?

 

toe jam baby

why are the hottest sluts always goin for the homeless guys?

 

Because after living without a roof over your head for 7 days your body naturally produces a higher number of pheremones designed to attract said sluts and so the everlasting cycle may continue for the greater good

Is the sun happy?

 

The sun isn't happy, it's quite depressed actually because all it wanted to be it's entire life was the moon.


(contributed by hubby cause i couldn't think of anything- who didn't know what the previous question was)
at sunset and sunrise, why does the sun look huge in the sky and then around noon it looks small again?

 

because it's watching you more closely.


why are athletes?

 

foot

Do sheep have a word for "why?"?

 

baa ba baaaa ba moo baa quack.

If theres an american english, is there a canadian french?

 

The answer is yes, but I shall put it to you more simply-ducks will not fly south during winter, but big tree, although stationary, is always on the move

Why pink for a girl and blue for a boy, and do hermaphrodite babies get some kind of lilac?

 

Because the Storks get a discount on pink and blue baby towels if they buy in bulk. Hermaphrodite babies get green.

Why dont we have 30 letters in the alphabet?

 

We did once, but nyoog, schung, plop and hyffe were banished for crimes against humanity

Do fish wish?

 

No, but if wishes were fishes beggars would eat like kings.

If a = b, is the assumption not-a = not-b valid?

 

No because B is not monogamous, he likes to put it around

How do you break a coconut with no hammer?

 

Get it in a fist fight. Just like breaking your teeth

Why dont dogs like cats or vice versa?

 

because cats eat grass and somehow manage to look snooty anyway.

how do i politely scratch my nose?

 

Use your little finger and lick it after

Did very old people coin the term "navel gazing"?

 

probably not, they can't see their navels.

keanu reeves: horrible actor or misused?

 

Keanu Reeves was born in Lebanon and has the middle name of Charles.

Do you feel a 'yawn' coming on?

 

No.. I, as a mighty Ultronian, lack the yawn reflex so common in primitive humans.

Under which circumstances is it acceptable to blow your nose on your sleeve in public?