Are women biologically programmed to reward cruelty, evil and domination?

Ok, so now I'm going to tackle the poison you got from reading about the PUA culture.

In my mind, this set up seems to suffer from the same problems as evo-psych, only -enhanced-. Because they don't even bother faking the science. But that doesn't stop them proposing a lot of 'theories' about why their techniques work. Or backing it up with, you guessed it, evopsych!

Ok, let's look at some of these techniques that seem to work to get girls interested:

Peacocking. So, women don't care too much about guys looks, and yet... they've found it really helps if you pretty yourself up a bit. Wait, what? Yep, that's exactly what they say. It seems they have much more success when they actually put some time into looking interesting. And, frankly, what they find works is generally pretty damn hot, visually speaking. So, basically they're telling guys what women have been told for ages, if you work at looking attractive, in the manner the opposite sex tends to find attractive, the opposite sex will find you more attractive. Well, fancy that.

Moving on: There's all sort of advice about 'openings', but one thing that sticks out: They recommend using some sort of either verbal or body language cue that tells people you might leave at any moment. This is interesting to me because it creates a vibe that tells people 'Hey, if you don't want me around, it's ok, I'll leave in a sec'. This tends to be really nice, because attractive women are hit on pretty often and tend to end up feeling a bit trapped by forceful and unwanted advances by macho jerks. Happens a lot. So this advice boils down to: respect that women deal with bs a lot, and they will like you more.

Also, if you are actually interesting and seem like you might leave, they'll actually start wanting to make excuses to keep you around. Heck, these guys are suggesting you play a little hard to get! Another thing girls have been told for aeons. And they actually give a lot of advice that basically boils down to this.

Next, they advise that you pay attention to body language. This means actually caring and focusing on all the subtle emotional signals of the people around you and responding to them. You know, being empathetic. Again, advice women have gotten for ages. Starting to see a pattern here?

They advise you don't show too much interest until you've gotten an 'IOI', an Indicator of Interest. In other words, don't come on too strong and ignore her desires. Don't be all macho and too forward and too interested. Actually respect her interests. They talk about how you can usually figure out if it's going to go anywhere in the first minute or 2. In other words, if she's not into you, respect that and move on. Um, ok, I can get behind that.

They talk about drawing her out, getting her to talk about herself. And listening! So, it appears girls like it when you pay attention to them, and listen to them, and seem to actually care about what they're saying. You know, just like guys do? Heck, maybe that's even a -human- trait.

They talk about building a feeling of safety, of 'comfort building'. They talk about slow escalation, and a back and forth of escalating interest. Hell, this looks actually pretty egalitarian to me.

Now they also have a focus on getting laid. Ok, well, that's something that arises out of the culture. Lots of guys, who don't know how to get a sexual encounter, never mind a girlfriend, have an interest in this. If girls had the same problem, they'd have the same interest. Getting laid is less of a problem for girls, so they become more interested in actual -quality- over quantity. A lot of guys who have an easy time getting sex get over it pretty quick and start looking for quality too. When you're starving, you don't care about quality, and won't turn your nose up at the most disgusting gruel. It's only once you start getting regular gruel that you start really complaining that gruel is awful.

They advise some pretty underhanded stuff too. What can I say, underhanded shit works when you are dealing with people you'll never see again. If all you're looking for is one-night stands. If you're looking for more, weed the good from the bad or you won't end up with anything lasting. Once a woman finds out you're a lying asshole, she'll probably be gone if she's got any self-esteem.

They also advise using 'canned' material. This one is interesting. It seems underhanded at first glance, but really it's a confidence building exercise. If you're a guy who isn't confident or comfortable with women, and fears rejection like it's going to kill you, this can be kinda useful. It gets you used to talking to women, and lets you know rejection isn't a big deal, isn't going to kill you. This and the 'treat it like a game, at least to begin with' advice seems like it might help for building confidence.

Now, I'm not saying the PUA stuff is all good, but a lot of it is actually pretty woman-friendly advice. Not surprising considering it was gathered effectively by polling hundreds of women. Trying stuff out, and keeping what women liked, ditching what they didn't. There's some crap in there too, stuff that stayed in because under-handed shit works some times, and they weren't polling for what would assist in getting women to -continue- liking you. But I feel there's a fair amount of good in with the bad, if you ignore the misogynistic claptrap theories behind it all.

 

I didn't read past here.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Life is what you make it. It can be beautiful and happy and carefree, or it can he hateful and sad and worried. What are you worried about? you're full of hate, what can go worse? The world can only get better for you, and it will as soon as you decide to make it better.

Since you seem to put so much stock in psychology, here's one for you:

Reality is in your head. You can change any of it at any point you wish.

Use this knowledge, your world view needs an overhaul, but until you're flat lining, you can fix anything or everything that you want to

*edit* stop fucking looking for reasons. Spend a day living in the present, by a little more instinct. I occasionally have depression problems, the last few days, especially. Being idle will make everything worse, find something to do, and stop thinking about the past, work on the present and future.

 

Ok, this next.

So, I've already gone on at length about the fallibility of science, and it's complete incapacity to say anything meaningfully about the true nature of things. For all you know, you could be a 4-dimensional crystalline hyper-cube having a really weird dream. You've no evidence that disproves this after all. And Occam's Razor was never intended as a principle for metaphysics or philosophy.

But sure, you can believe in that model if you like. Our's is a country with freedom of religion, and some people choose the findings of some branch of science or other as the basis for their personal religious beliefs. If you want to believe that all your actions are emergent behavior arising from a complex process of gene-selection over billions of years, and that your consciousness and all your desires and experiences are simply the action of a complex biochemical soup, no one's going to stop you.

But I'd like to know, if you do believe in that, why does it bother you? Why are you worried about 'vulgar' lust, or that even 'higher' love is merely the actions of your genes, or more directly the actions of particular chemicals? I mean, if that is actually true, then good and evil are myths. The search for meaning is meaningless. Immediate personal pleasure and the fulfillment of your genetic predisposition is the only thing of value.

Sure, sometimes you are moved to compassion, to cooperative and even selfless behavior. But that too simply arises from your genes attempting to increase the survival rate of other genes like it. Cooperative behavior, goodwill towards your fellow human, love, even the search for meaning all make sense in that schema. But it doesn't make sense that it should bother you. Must be some sort of chemical imbalance, or just not enough competitive success. If you really believe that story is the be all, end all of it, you're imperative would be to go out and have as much fun as possible. Hedonism, man! You're only here for a brief time, and then you're gone, and all of it will be dust, so you'd best enjoy it while it's here.

Except, to me it seems like you don't believe that. I mean, if you did, then the idea that women are mere sexual playthings would be -great-. What a joy to be born a man, then! Half the fucking population secretly desires to fulfill your ever desire. Wouldn't that be nifty if it was true and if all these other people really were just walking meatsacks? Not real actual people at all, nothing you actually have to care about, just a chemical soup firing pseudo-randomly.

But again, it doesn't seem like you believe that. You at least want to believe in something more. But don't know what to believe in.

Heck, that describes me too. No idea what the hell I believe in. But feel, deep inside me, that something more is true. And ya know, it doesn't matter if I'm wrong. If I'm wrong I'll have spent my limited time here having some hope, that gives me comfort and some pleasure, that there was something more. I'll have had the pleasure of helping people, because that does seem to bring me joy. I'll have had the fun of getting lost in the experience, of dancing with a certain amount of hedonistic abandon, always tempered by love. I'll have had the experience at the wonder of being alive. I'll have had the sheer pleasure of walking through snow barefoot just for the fun of it. I'll have had a million useless but incredibly entertaining conversations about the meaning of meaning, and the possible nature of being. I'll have been alive damn it. Really, truly, intensely, passionately, painfully, alive. Through joys and sorrows, ecstasy and agony, through my selfishness and my compassion. I'll have had an experience. And what an experience.

And then I'll die. And if the faith that says I'm just a biological soup is right, I'll cease to care. I won't have any time to regret my life, or to look back and wish I'd done things different. I won't have time to rage at the sheer pointlessness of it all. I'll simply stop being. At that point, nothing will bother me any more, ever again.

But if I'm right, and there is more, then I feel I will be able to look at my life with a degree of pride. Not hubris, not unassailable pride, for I have my own failures and foibles. But a degree of pride, for I think I've done pretty well.

And in the meantime? I'm having the time of my life. Quite literally.

 

I don't pleasure in anything biological.

Fun and power don't appeal to me. It is true the dog eat dog ethos is antithetical to my beliefs. But it seems so entrenched and unshakeable that it might as well be objectively true. The only point of life is to be the strongest ape on top of a mountain of skulls.

When I was younger I was more driven by ambition. And the better world I could create was perhaps only a figleaf for naked ambition. But slowly that seed grew until the cause mattered.

Well anyway once I got to see the world as it was, the ideology that underlay it, and the hopelessness of changing it, I fell into deep despair. Life in a world like this is truly pointless and worse than meaningless. None of its joys have any appeal to me. There is no such thing as individualism. Everyone must accept the dominant ideology of the times. Your only deluding yourself if you think your a special unique individual. There is nothing more conformist than individuality.

I don't care about free will. There is nothing glorious about free will. Other than natural disasters every act of evil comes from supposed free will. It makes no difference whether actions are determined by genes. The problem is what actions are determined. Sadism, evil, brutality, domination, cruelty. No rational being can coexist with humans. Your genes have to do all the work, instincts or your sunk. There is no greater curse than to be able to think and feel, but not be driven by genetic instinct in a world like this. The world as it is has nothing to offer me but torture. Simply coexisting with humanity is driving me to madness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tF5luzpfp_g&feature=related"]YouTube- ON THE VANITY OF EXISTENCE - Arthur Schopenhauer

 

Woe is me

 

Every act of beauty and kindness and all the rest are free will as well. Free will is nothing glorious, it's just free will.... you can do glorious or horrible things with it. Or you can use it to squander your time bitching about how life sucks on the internet. All your choice.

Wether or not you like life, you don't get any of it back, so you better get to experiancing it.

 

Ok, I get it now. Your not just depressed. You're also a selfish jerk, who thinks he's better then the rest of us. Nice. Also a bit of a coward.

This last rant just sounds like 'Wah! I can't be the new Messiah and save poor wretched humanity from itself. So I'm not going to even try!' You've been given life. You've been fed, clothed, housed, apparently given love. And what do you offer back? Nothing. Your one great dream of giving the world -everything- has been dashed, so you offer nothing.

You look at all the rest of us and see us all as guided by instinct, merely our genes. But -you-, your something better. Your something -special-. You know right and wrong.

But you know what? All the pain and suffering and horror you see? Guess what most of it is caused by? Selfishness. Fear. Pain. Loneliness. A refusal to offer -more- then it appears that you -might- get. A worry that the world isn't going to be enough. An assumption that the world is full of evil, and won't help you, and won't give you happiness unless you take it.

In other words, if you want to look for the source of the world's evil, you need look no farther then your current mood. That is the source of evil. Your fear, and anger, and selfishness, pain and loneliness. It mirrors exactly the emotions that lead humans to do evil.

And so you have a choice. You can wallow in it. And do onto others before they can do onto you. Or you can end it all, and cease the suffering that you cause. Cease being a user, a taker, a leech who only gets and never offers anything in return.

Or, you can get the fuck over yourself. You can open your eyes and look at the world and realize we are all in the same spot. Looking around at a world that is terrifying. But most of us are trying! Most of us are giving. Most of us are working in our own little ways to attempt to make the world jus a tiny bit better in some way.

Sure, many of us fail. And sure, many of us give up, just like you have. Some who give up end it. Most who give up simply stop trying to give, and only take. Like you have. That just makes it a bit harder for those of us who are still trying. But hell, I'm up for a challenge. Are you? I'm willing to carry a bit of extra weight because there's fracking work to do here and someone has bloody well got to do it. Because humans are going to keep on bearing children, and I want them coming into a world that is better, not worse.

And because, quite frankly, I've discovered a pretty key secret of life. Happiness? Comes from doing. It can come in little tiny bursts from getting and that feels so nice, but all the love you receive, all the gifts you get, all that turns to ash in your mouth if you're not doing something. If you're not giving. If you're not helping. If you're not offering something to the world.

No, I'm not special. I'm not unique. Who said I wanted to be? Being special and unique is fucking lonely. Being 'The One' sounds godawful really. All that is and ever was is an ego-trip, a selfish desire to be more then everyone else. I'm not special because there are a lot of us, all working hard, all trying to make the world better. All trying to love our fucked up selves and our fucked up neighbors. Not because it's easy, but because it's hard. And that's part of what makes it worth doing. And part of what makes it such an amazing pleasure. What makes it so grand when you feel that this time, I did it!

So get over yourself. You are nothing special either. You're just another one of us, floundering on the rocks, trying to figure out what the hell to do with this wonderful terrible gift you've been given. You're just another human, scared and selfish, worried that the world is not enough. Terrified it won't give you what you need. Confused at what to do.

And no one can tell you what to do. There isn't a manual, and your Mom and Dad can't guide you any more. You have to start making this shit up for yourself.

So, what's it gonna be?

 

Yet

And this is your lament.

Quite frankly I think you are correct in a way. The world is simply not valuable for what is has to offer. You give the world all the meaning it has for you.

But overall, you do not know what you are talking about. You do not know how to tell the truth because you are to busy trying to manipulate sentiment to illicit sympathy. This is a three year old's power play.

 

No, the point is extension, the process is eat and be eaten. Worms eat elephants.

 

honesty.

 

The truth of the matter is, women don't really need men for anything, and yes that means sex too..

 

Women can't create a child on their own, or with another woman. Sure, they can buy one or go the other route, but it isn't ever really biologically theirs.

 

Your apoligia for humanity bears no resemblance to the beasts that actually exists. I don't see humans trying to do good and trying to help each other. Humans are incapable of love. That is not the spirit of our age. Your coming from another planet. thats not the humanity I know. I have nothing in common with humanity. This does not make me superior. As far as survival of the fittest is concerned I'm clearly unfit to exist in this world.

How dare my parents disturb my eternity of peaceful nonexistence and throw me into the hell of life! Why would I feel any gratitude for the worst crime committed against me? Birth!

What is my decision? I quit school and job. And for nearly a year now, I've been leeching off my parents in the basement with no human contact. In August they'll throw me onto the streets and I'll starve. Thats my choice. Is simply can not coexist with the vampires that make up humanity. We can not live together in peace.

Well if being a nihilist means to "covet power and comfort" and make use of other humans. That is what humanity is already doing. IF they are also hypocritical, why hypocrisy is just another pleasure to be enjoyed. So if that is nihilism, then my problem is that all humans are nihilist, and I'm the only deluded soul left on the planet.

I'm a nihilist in the literal sense. I think Nothing is better than existence. It would be better if the whole universe had never existed, better to never be born. Emptyness is better than something. I'm sick of the whole struggle of life. The dog eat dog world. But for a nihilism of that sort it really is no comfort to play man's game for power and try to get ahead.

Nietzsche mind you hate nihilists. He thought that was what Europe was coming to and spent his life trying to stop it. Nihilism to Nietzsche certainly did not mean the amoral superman above regular humanity. No it was everything he was against. Real nihilism is Schopenhauer's despair at world. It is a pessimistic nothingness. It is the denial of life, not its' embrace. The Christians and Buddhists who denied the will and flesh the good things of life. Those were the ultimate Nihilists for Nietzsche.

What does nihilism really mean? Having a Mr.Rogers morality in a world that wont stand for it.

 

That's really funny, because you just described -exactly- what makes humans such vampires sometimes. You Are That. You are the vampire my friend. The thing that which you so despise is your own reflection. You say you have nothing in common with humanity and yet you exemplify it's basest inclinations in your every word and deed.

If you are so hell-bent on being such a complete waste, so focused on wallowing in your own selfishness, so blind as to paint over every color with blackness, so heartless as to be incapable of love, at least do the world the one small favor of killing yourself, so that you're no longer an agonizing burden and leech on people who -are- trying.

I pity your poor parents, though I also pity you.

 

I'd be willing to bet that you do not have the cojones to starve.

 

The only thing humans are "trying" to do is to find some poor sap below them to unleash their sadistic drive for domination on.

As for leeching. The only ones who will let me leech off them is my parents. And even with their selfish gene's reproductive success tied to me, even they are at the end of their rope. Society wont let you leech off it, so thats not a problem.

Don't you know what the human race actually is? All the human race has is a will to survive under the worst conditions. Why should I be impressed by that? What is so impressive about brute survival?

 

Well it beats working for a boss who has absolute control over your life. Since most states have employment at-will and we're in the middle of a contraction, the boss will unleash his natural alpha male drive to dominate on any employees hanging over the power to fire me at his whim. If you can't work for a boss, you can't eat. Cannibals all.

 

Actually, eating has to do with securing food. Hunger is an entirely different motivation than working for a boss, Besides which most people work for a paycheck, not a boss. Many people use their minds to appreciate their own experience rather than critique it. Many people are makers of their own industry.
You appear to be inept. You don't even rage against the machine well.

 

In your pampered and self indulgent state, What do you know of brute survival?
We actually prosper quite easily under many conditions, and many claim to desire the finer things of life and set themselves to securing those.

Why should you be impressed by that, what gives you the right to complain?

 

So work for yourself. Or do what I did around your age, start hitch-hiking around the country and experience some life. Take odd jobs and dumpster dive and eat at soup kitchens to survive. Live life right on the edge of survival. Get out of your cushy, sheltered, pampered lifestyle and get a feel for what life really is. Stop acting like such a spoiled, entitled, lazy brat.

Seriously, it sounds like you are depressed because you're bored more than anything else.

Kicking you out of the house is going to be the best thing your parents have ever done for you.