am I gay

Absolutely. Things have improved drastically over just a few decades when it comes to society's attitudes to sexuality, but we do still have a long way to go. I know this from experience; I never had anything against gay people growing up. My parents never displayed any bigotry to anyone, and I realised very early on that while I might dislike other people's behaviour, ultimately it was none of my business and didn't seem to affect me in any way. Yet I've only really realised at 24 that I'm mostly gay (although I considered myself bisexual from about 18) - as I mentioned in a previous post I'm still kind of equally attracted to both sexes physically/aesthetically, but I'm finding I'm much more sexually/emotionally/romantically attracted to guys... which I think was as much to do with society's assumption of heterosexuality (heteronormativity? is that the right word for it?) as my own... denial? I guess that's what it was; it was a subconscious thing - I was always open to the possibility of me being gay, but I never actually thought I was until recently.

There's personal factors at work here as well as the influence from society, undoubtably. But I think a lot of people nearer the middle of the gay--bi--straight spectrum (myself, and possibly the originator of this thread, and many many others, possibly the majority) are still liable to as much confusion as ever before, in a society that loves binaries: gay/straight, black/white etc.

 

well the reason it was a bit confusing is I guess its hard for me to say that I'm romantically attracted to a guy for the first time in my life and that kind of freaks me out

put what the three of you have said gives me a lot to think about

P.S. stalk go fuck yourself

 

Hah! Don't worry about that man, it proper freaked me out too, only I realised in a different way... I suddenly realised that one or two of my 'close friendships' before I even realised I wasn't entirely straight were actually kind of crushes :S

 

a crush that a good term for it ,but this is still weird and new to me I just wish this made more since

course talking bout it helps

 

cool. well what you need to do now is see whether this crush is strong enough that you'd consider acting on it... do you know the sexuality of this guy you're romantically attracted to? Look on this as a scientific experiment, seriously... If this guy's up for some experimenting, and if you feel like doing it yourself, even if just to prove you're not that into it, I say go for it. The same approach applies to girls. Get experience, have fun, just try your best not to hurt anyone emotionally. Over time, you will get to know what gets you off, and you'll be in a much better position to determine what exactly your sexual preferences and orientations are!

 

well you hit my next problem yeah I definitely have a crush on him I realized that when I saw him today



but how the hell do you go bout asking or talking or even bring up that kind of thing shit this is hard to deal with