am I an awful gf?

Well, I in no way think that all women should stay home and all men should work. But I personally know a lot of women who either do that with pleasure, or who are doing their thing now and hope to one day be a stay at home mom. That just fits in line with what I want out of life but I realize it's not what every woman wants or should do. I'd also want her to have her pursuits and I'd want to help around the house. I just need someone who is going to be supportive of my career goals and basically hold down the fort so to speak. And I also want that for my kids. My mom worked and I guess I just want something more traditional for them.

And I also agree that those unpleasant traits aren't gender specific.. it's just that I date women so I don't really have to concern myself with other men. I just make sure I am striving to the best I can.

 

Lol. Have fun being a single, bitter old man.

 

What have I been too generous?

 

Gross. Maybe I'm just a neat freak, but I think all children/family members deserve a clean house. It shows you respect and care about them.

 

Clean is one thing, OCD is another.

 

I'm pretty sure there isn't a woman on this planet who couldn't find someone to lick her pussy if she really wanted it done.

 

Women these days, they don't know they're born.

 

Actually I know a few women with pretty minging fannies that I certainly would like to go anywhere near.

 

I agree. I'm not a clean freak, but things need to be neat and orderly. It might be fine for one person to go without dusting or just giving the house a once over monthly, but when it comes to more than one person, you're talking about physical and mental health concerns. Cooking and cleaning isn't just nice, it's necessary. Walk into a clean house and you'll feel a lot better than you do if you walk into a dirty house. Now imagine someone with allergies or asthma living in a house that gets a once over monthly.

deviate, I'm not saying anything against what you said, I just wanted to make sure our thread hijacker here understands that these things aren't gender specific. I've said it a few times now, most women really don't have an issue taking care of those things and like tattered said it is often a matter of each person in the relationship doing what they're better at. But ungratefulness can easily turn something like that into a drain and make the person stop wanting to take care of the things that they're actually good at taking care of.

I really can't speak for what all women want, I do believe that women are wired to nest and be nurturing. I love going after my career personally, but I also love organizing and being domestic. I think it really is beyond useful to have a mother stay at home at least for those first few years and I wish I had that, but I'm grateful for the time I had to be that person. Even the first several months is really amazing.

I think it comes naturally for most women after having children to clamp down on that nesting instinct, but I still think it should be respected. It's not so easy for a man to just say, "I'll stay home, you go work", I mean that sounds nice, but what happens to the baby that needs to breastfeed, and not all women can pump milk out like cows.

 

Yeah man, what the fuck were you thinking licking her pussy?

You went way too far on that one.

 

Been there myself. It's not easy...especially if you work full time. I was lucky enough to be self-employed though so I had the freedom to make my schedule work with whatever I had going on.

As far as keeping the house clean...my wife likes to tell me I would live in squalor without her but that wasn't true in the past. I just had a maid that came twice a week and kept the place spotless. I mostly just worried about cleaning up messes made by my kids on a daily basis. The maid did the deep cleaning.

 

I applaud all the single parents. The shit can be really hard sometimes but I also think it keeps you grounded. Or at least it does for me. Being self-employed is a blessing, for sure.

 

It's a blessing in terms of freedom sometimes but it can also be worse because you have a lot of additional responsibilities.

 

I guess it depends on the type of self-employment. I'm still figuring it out really, but I remember distinctly how much harder it was when I was a new mom and going to work all day long, practically every day. I wasn't even single then.

 

You are as wrong (to be angered by his expectations) as he is (to expect you to meet those expectations).

The sentence that I quoted says it all. You are coming from different places and have different expectations about your relationship.

Neither of you is wrong to have expectations. Neither of you are wrong for not meeting the other's expectations.

Where you might be wrong is in your (plural) reactions to those expectations.

You come from different cultures.
Recognizing that is step 1.
Step 2 is not sorting through those cultures with an eye to deciding which is right and which is wrong.
Step 2 is the two of you deciding how you are going to treat each other, how you are going to respect the different places you come from (and the baggage that each of you brings from your cultures) and how you are going to combine your individual expectations, wants and needs into a good relationship.

Or decide that the relationship isn't worth the effort.

 

Nowhere near terrible but if this relationship is supposed to go into serious relationship and marriage type territory, this clashing philosophy is a problem.

Both of you are thinking in cultural dichotomy.

Chores or stuff belongs to you or him, rather than US or as a team.

Really tasks like dinner/laundry should be decided on skill, done on whomever has the most flexible schedule with work, and at times done together.

 

Not necessarily. If his hard labor stresses his spine and back I can understand him not wanting to bend over to do laundry.


I do think that washing dishes wouldn't be so hard though. I also hope that he's not so old school that he expects her to bathe him....it better not go there.

 

I can understand such things too but proclaiming all office work can't be demanding like he seemed to do is just silly.
It's not about how hard it is to do the dishes me thinks. It's more a principle thing: the boyfriend kind of demands it for the wrong reasons.

 

Men can provide from some since many technologies allow for working at home.
Changing times of what it means to "provide". Your outlook on life is in danger of being marginal and or obsolete.

 

seems in a loving relationship, you accept each other for who you are and if the other person does not want to wash your laundry, you do it yourself..what he should of said is this, I am sorry, since you do not like to do laundry, let me do mine and yours, Love you sweetheart, after I am done with laundry, lets go out to Soup plantation and get all you can eat salads, then we will go down to ocean and get stoned..