Advice for Stupid People

dont put a really tight elastic band on your sack

 

don't try to steal a turkey by shoving it down your pants

 

dont wear running shoes when theres a foot of fresh snow

 

don't slam on your brakes while driving on icy roads

 

dont pull your underwear up too high

 

don't forget to put on your underwear

 

Barbedwire Condoms = Bad Idea

 

trojan condoms = good idea

 

dont take the blue pill

 

Take your hand out of the disposal, before you turn it on.

 

dont eat tomatoes

 

don't date your sister

 

don't screw your best friends boyfriend

 

don't go to walmart with curlers in your hair

 

always double check that the seat is down before sitting on the crapper

 

don't try to smuggle drugs across the border

 

dont put eggs in your checked baggage

 

don't play games at hip forums

 

dont eat chicken bones

 

dont ask on hip forums how to masterbate with a cast..