Advice for Stupid People

don't give the santa at the mall you home address

 

don't spread toe jam on cinnamon rolls

 

dont keep your wallet on the top of your head

 

don't hand feed a shark

 

never turn your back on a billy goat

 

don't put your hand on a hot stove

 

pull down your pants BEFORE you take a crap

 

don't unbutton your vest, pull out your tie, and piss in your pants.

 

don't park on the railroad tracks

 

dont eat the road salt

 

dont trust the public

 

dont trust women with lice infected pubic hair

 

red means stop, green means go

 

Yellow does not mean have a nice day.

 

dont throw anything other than sporting goods and you must be outside when doing so

 

dont go in a cold tub during winter

 

every car comes standard with turn signals. Use them!

 

Don't crush everything you see

 

Don't pick your nose in public

 

don't do flaming eyeball shots