A question for the older and wiser

I really dig this little bit of stuff here. And being a friend of GOD's (the poster not deity) i felt i would put something down of the magic of self.

I just came out to college, i am from Texas, and i am now in little ole Rhode Island (living rather cold HA!) and for two months i felt completely lost. I do not go to a liberal school like i should be, but accidentily a business school (HA!) not for me. or so i thought. I lived in a dream world before i came here, a place where my friends and i could get together and talk about it all. GOD knows. I had a defined sense of self that wasnt in a position to be compromised or uncomfortable. I was with these guys in mind and spirit, constantly- we just hit that plane, at least i did with them.

So my vision, my waking self wasnt under any fire to perform but to simply act and react to these comfortable situations- not generic, as crazy as ever, but just comfortable. Now, however, each day is a new thing, not so much an adventure- though boston is 50 minutes and New York 3 hrs, not to mention Philly or Canada (anyways)- each day with my new set of folks with whom i pass my time i feel a bit off center, jumpy. "What would i say?" "What do i say?" HA!

I've hit a point in my life where i have to think about what and who i am and that just aint cool man, i never think unless i am learning. And ive got nothing to learn about myself that i dont already know.

"Now that you know who you are, what do you want to be."

Im back to stage one, my ego seems to be running rampant, i am talking of things that i share no true interest in, but that is all there is to say. I am of the thought that i will say things to humor people, to keep them thinking. But im not even sure i am thinking about things lately. and by 'things' im not sure i know. But i feel angry at the typical college guy and his lewd remarks, or the down right ignorance of some people- and i usually dont ever feel anger or sorrow, regret, or embarassment for other people. All im saying is i am doing way to much to ruin who i am. i feel very unnatural- even on my trip back home.

However, i recieved a call from the greatest woman- forget that- person, ever and she immmediately asked me what i thought of self, and individuality- what it is, do we possess it. all this firing of questions that let me dissolve. I thought about it- and came to no conclusions, but i find that i am much more at ease today. I broke a scarf out cause it was cold too...

(this really doesnt mean anything (like i said i came to no conclusions- that involves a ceratain knowledge to close something up- im pretty sure every thing is endless and seemless- and all unreasonable), i just wanted to add to MR. Remington's, my buddy's, post)

HA!

 

You know, Tis, your post actually made sense to me, in some disjointed way. I'll have to think on it, but thanks for the soul food. Best wishes in the cold (winter sucks, but you'll be stronger for it).