A new pattern forming in my love life

It doesn't sound like you are that charming to more intelligent women regardless of their age. It sounds like you are picking up the ones that you don't even have to make an effort to get or keep. These are just insecure women and will not provide much to love. If you want to find someone who is interesting, challenging and will keep YOU involved for a while look outside the "sure lets get drunk and fuck" crowd.

 

:agree:

 

perfect

 

Spooner, ther's nothing wrong with you! You're a typica, normal American twenty something confusing sex with popularity, so filled with self that even your writings strut, and thinking (possibly unconsciously) that confessing your rottenness will garner sympathy and willingness from some more women. Phoney as a glass pony and (at some point in your life) just as breakable. Until then, man, enjoy the ride. You've obviously got enough charm to get laid a couple times a week and finally into a marriage or relationship that'll last a couple of years, one or two kids you'll scuff off, and then a long dark passage to who knows where. The pity is you cannot change. You've bought the program and have been programmed. Funny thing is some women were part of the course, of course - and others will remain encouraging you until, what was it she said, you're late thirty something and wed to work or lonliness. Enjoy it while you can. Wonder what causes so many women to take part.
"All women dote upon an idle man
Although their children need a rich estate;" W B Yeats

 

man, it sounds to me like what give you a thrill is the chase. the talk the moves the innuendos the game. You like to play the game and you're good at it evidently so as soon as you see what these girls have to offer, all the sudden, boom, no more attraction. It's like, hm, already had it, what's next. I mean, if you like it, keep doing it, but if you are bored of the whole one-night-stand deal, and you are actually looking to start a relationship with a *real* girl then start looking in places besides bars and clubs and what have you.

love and lust man. sometimes you gotta choose.

I don't think you're an asshole. I just think you're typical. bummer dude.

 

I often wonder why some men are programmed to be this way...or how they are programmed to think this type of behavior is OK.

 

What if 40 and un-married ??

 

That is mother nature, trying to preserve man-kind.

woman can be pregnant once (only ) a year.

PS. why also you did not say the same about women ? discrimination ?

 

Man !! My Respects.

 

come oooooooooooon People

Who said an 18 years old, or even 15 years old girl is not aware of what is really going on between her and any man. Life changed, those girls know much more than you think - much more - and they want to do it just as Spooner if not more, and they know there is no love .. just sex.

Also the ladies who play saints, come ooooon, some of them are Bi-sexual, others typically say "men come and go", what i mean let us be honest.

To Spooner, what you are doing is very natural, and women on your age do more than that usually, and i'm sure with time you will get boared of all of that and try to find some really nice girl who hopefully will be boared also with that game and is also looking for long real relation.

Good Luck

 

I didn't say the same thing about women because, Number 1: I'm not like that and Number 2: I don't date women, therefore, I don't care what they do in relationships...

 

Somehow the fact that DA and Lynsey don't like me isn't making me burst out into tears.

In terms of morality, I'm not dating them simply because I want to sleep with them. I genuinely like them and like spending time with them. And I don't think there is anything wrong with sleeping with people I like. Really, I don't like hurting people, which is why I'm questioning at all why it hasn't been working out.

The real problem is why I get bored so easily - and I don't particularly have an answer to that. In retrospect, I haven't really not gotten bored of somebody since I dated Drea for a year back when I was 17/18.

At any rate I was looking for insight - either finding it by myself by simply typing it out, or by having it pointed out to me.

To everyone who thinks they know me well enough through an internet forum to pass judgement, a nice hearty "fuck you."

To everyone trying to assure me I'm normal - thanks, but I could care less, and reassurance wasn't what I'm looking for.

For morons like this:

I could care less how I sound on here - I was merely saying it to give background information. And the fact is, my whole life I've never had a problem manipulating people to do what I want, including either picking up or dating girls. It may come off as arrogant, but then again, I could give two shits how it sounds.

Yeah, because the first place people look for easy lays is a christian church. When I feel like trying my luck picking up whores, I go to the bar.

Biases clouding your judgement again - I don't pray on a girls insecurities to sleep with them. And it isn't only insecure girls who are attracted to me.

ARE YOU FUCKING BRAIN DEAD?????????????????? I'm trying to get serious with religious girls. About as far from the get wasted and laid type whores as you can get.

At any rate, I had dinner with Mel last night, and I'm supposed to swing by her place once I'm done an econ project for spaghetti.

I think I'm going to keep plugging away until I meet a girl I can fall in love with. Thanks for all the spectacular advice.

 

This is what I am saying. Maybe you should try to go beyond just manipulating insecure girls into bed and try to go out with some intelligent women you will have to work to get. They won't be easy manipulated so your typical bullshit won't work for you. Thus you will have more of a challenge. Maybe you won't be as bored. What the hell does religion have to do with how smart and confident a woman is? Nothing. Yes, you go to the bars to get laid. You yourself said you were bored with these women. Try to move into the realm of women who are confident and don't fall easily for manipulation. This is where you will find someone who can challenge you for life not just drop into your bed. There is nothing wrong with going to get laid but sometimes you have to seperate those girls out when you want to find someone worth loving long term.

 

Its probably because youre looking for love from the people who give it to you right from the get go...
and therfore you have nothing to try for, you have nothing to be thankful for, because you havent had to work for it.


and you find them because youre lonley.. and for a little bit they fit okay, but after a while you realise the only thing you really wanted from them was a warm body in your bed because you feel empty, but because theyre not what youre looking for, you probably end up feeling even worse with them there


The age gap isnt such a bad thing, 18 is young, but its not that young, there wouldnt be too much difference between you

 

prime reason why i don't date guys my age...

 

Hey, this might be one of those captain obvious ideas, but i don't know. Maybe if you don't get into sex for a while, you could see if you liek them BEFORE you wind up doing bad things. I'm sorry if this is one of those (sarcastically) why didn't i think of that scenarios.

 

fuck... i am drunk as hell.

but mel is mad at me. bevcause i keep telling her i'lll head by her place later.

and dodnt'.

 

A classic case of self destructive behavior, avoidance, and mulipation. Face it, you dont want to change, if you did you would not be intentionally causing problems with Mel (Oh, did that alcohol just jump into your blood?) Simple fact is you like who you are and what you do. You came on here not for help, but to brag and manipulate us.
If you want to change, take some advice from a man who as been married longer than most posters have been alive (28 years commited, 25 married). Love is not about warm fuzzies, not about yourself. Love is spelled "C O M M I T M E N T" There are plenty of times that i wake up and dont want to be with my wife, and i am sure that she feels the same way. I have had my chances to cheat (the whole reason that i found this board), even up to currently with an ex-model. But, the fact that i love my wife keeps me there. You dont care for anybody but yourself. You tend to see females as something you can play. If you want to find a truely satisfying relationship, you have to actually think of someone other than your own sexualy demanding self.

 

Taking and advantage of an 18 yr old that is a virgin is so wrong Spooner. What were you thinking? If they are virgins walk away go chace the many more then willing women your own age at the bars. A girls first time is suppose to be special and all it was for you was getting your rocks off that is so sad. I think you are going through a time when you have no idea what the hell you want other then getting just that (your rocks off). Can we say fears to be committed. Hope you get this behabior under control soon. Best of luck

 

cuz if u're 40 and dating "lil innocent girls" as a game it sounds like u're a perv
and cuz if u're married it means u're cheating and thats just unacceptable