2 line poem challenge

So hold still this won't hurt a bit
Im just going to squeeze a little on your left tit.

This guy came over and I let him crash, but he went into my wallet and he grabbed my cash...

 

This guy came over and I let him crash, but he went into my wallet and grabbed my cash...
Now I have no money to buy any trash.

The cats at the door with a dead mouse...

 

The cats at the door with a dead mouse
At least it's dead before being brought in house

Our Maine Coon cat once brought in a live bat.....

 

Our Maine Coon cat once brought in a live bat.....
he was wearing a very colourful hat

made of straw an ribbons an with a feather on top

 

made of straw an ribbons an with a feather on top
with the hat he couldn't fly but, boy could he hop....

the cat grabbed his fiddle and bow....

 

the cat grabbed his fiddle and bow....
an played loadsa a tunes that the rattlers did'nt know

the rats did a jig an the mice did a reel

 

the rats did a jig an the mice did a reel
and the farmer's wife served up a hearty meal.....

the fiddle stoped and all set to table....

 

The fiddle stopped and all set to table
we sat done to grub as soon as we were able.

Good food, music, family and friends....

 

Good food, music, family and friends....
We dined and we chatted of births, deaths, and new trends....

Later after dining and brandy we all pitched in to clean up and stoke our pipes....

 

Later after dining and brandy we all pitched in to clean up and stoke our pipes
and then we talked about zebras with loadsa a big long stripes

the storm was roaring and the sea was overflowing

 

the storm was roaring and the sea was overflowing
as we headed for high ground the flooded roads were rough goin'

we reached the peak above a mountain tarn and paused to watch arm in arm the storm sweep in......

 

we reached the peak above a mountain tarn and paused to watch arm in arm the storm sweep in...
i looked and saw her shawl was ripped and she was shivering so i fixed it with a wee pin


thank you she said,her nose red from the journey

 

thank you she said,her nose red from the journey
All the red blood from her nose dripped on the gurney

The horn beeped and pissed him off....

 

The horn beeped and pissed him off

forgot it was a signal to come get a boff.



the ice he was on was giving away

 

the ice he was on was giving away
as he juggled two wives on so little pay

he soon found comfort at the bottom of a bottle

 

He soon found comfort in the bottom of a bottle

and if one learned of the other,his ass she would throttle.


the car he was driving had gone off the road

 

the car he was driving had gone off the road.
a.d thats when she learned about the first wife, she died swollowing his load.

I forgot to add my line I feel like such a twit...

 

I forgot to add my line, I feel like such a twit

but upon my second thought ,I can't really give a shit.


the day was hot and I took me a swim

 

the day was hot and I took me a swim
it brushed my leg, so deep in water, sight so dim

I surfaced in time to see the big fin circle....

 

I surfaced in time to see the big fin circle....
it was really a shark i mistaked for a turtle

so i circled the shark just ta scare him away