Were you born with more than one banana?
Definitely a dragon.
I hope I get teleported to Antarctica. Penguins are SO cute!
Approximately eight million americans living below the water line were rescued from economic hardship when the US census bureau redefined the...
You should put up a sign: "Please do not feed the stereotypes." With a picture of a hippie biting off someone's hand.
I walked in on my college roommate while he was jacking it at the computer. I came back early from an exam, and there he was at my desk, tugging...
I'd say, be flexible with your career plan. Try out something you want to do. If you don't like it or it doesn't feel right, don't be afraid to...
I invented the thong bikini. You're welcome, gentlemen.
If you're a good Christian, then why would you want to defend your life? Let yourself be killed so you can get to heaven and be one with God.
Lidocaine - is that the powder that Wesley used in The Princess Bride to poison that guy's drink? PS. I wish I was the dread pirate roberts.
ice cream sandwich
Our universe was conceived when all the gods got together and had an orgy. They called in the Big Bang. Stole that from Douglas Adams.
So, our DNA is capable of holding a ton of information. I've also heard that scientists have located sections of our DNA that don't seem to have...
Bud and Bud Light always give me diarrhea. Is that too much sharing? I'm sorry. But it's true.
I have a question for those of you who homeschool your children. What do you do to let your kids socialize with other children? To me, that...
Trippel Horse by River Horse Brewing Co. It's heavy, tasty, and strong. Now I'm getting thirsty.
How do I get raccoons to stop stealing my strawberries? I saw one sneaking into the back yard and eating the berry right off the plant. Do I...
Someone understands newts need yogurt. rodeo
Fat ogres request underwear massages. L I H O B
A view from the other side: I used to be a teacher. I quit last year because students were openly saying racist things about my wife in class,...
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