That Man (draft I wrote this morning - an old ghost visited me Halloween night) The hair at the back of your head has the texture of the freshly...
What an excellent poem. Keep writing and sharing.
Thank you for sharing this. I enjoyed the way you express yourself and your art is wonderful. My favorite parts you wrote are these: my...
This was so fun to read... like looking in someone's diary or something. You had me going and I felt this gentle pleasure of two people meeting...
This was my favorite part (I liked your poem very much, keep writing!): And I will be there drowning by your side Holding your hand as we go with...
You made me laugh Heywood Floyd! and yes! I sometimes try hard to not be so dark in my writing so I can fit in better - but most of the time it...
Thanks Weaselpop - this was extremely helpful !!! I know places that I will focus on next and finally get this one finished. I like your...
Anybody? I bumped it - any feedback?
"This is How it Happens" was very powerful, I really enjoyed it and want to read more but I'll have to come back again later... from this last...
I think it only needs punctuation. Punctuation informs the reader where you expect us to pause (comma), end a thought (period) or pause longer or...
I liked this one. I can see you are trying to capture Thoreau. I think there are some slight movements or shifts that you can try that may make...
This was nice, the best part for me was: lingering like forest fire soot darkening my windows lining my lungs
Memory poem is very good, this works for me best: all meshed into knots, like wet hair tangled. I am adrift amidst this burning shipwreck,...
What Duck said... adding some imagery could strengthen it. It is a very good poem. It does need some images. So asking yourself throughout the...
different perspective on an old fable, good idea, the last four lines work the best for me
I see what you mean now on the blue note, so what I changed there doesn't work with what you were building. So definitely want to drop that...
Oh, I forgot to add, this is a very good and very original poem. I just took out unncessary words, but for the most part, it's still very much...
Okay, here is how I did the edits to this - take what you want, "drop" the rest: Acid Notes Pt. 1: Colors It hits the bloodstream like sulfur...
A Simple Touch The womb-like night swathes a day spent tracking railroad ties overgrown with thistle easing barbed wire and gathering...
[img] I think you meant to type "lust" poems.
Separate names with a comma.
