"We need to talk" does not mean you are getting a pony.
Ran down the street in his underwear screaming at the stroke of midnight, as always.
Install a mirror in the closet.
Your face looks like my butt, only with more hair.
Welp, I'm here. What were your other two wishes?
Name it Elmo.
I ban you because you took the last oreo and I really wanted it.
Hires a large maid who accidentally folds him into the sofa bed.
My new sweater is kind of scratchy.
Banned for telephoning the laundromat to ask if their dryers are running and then hanging up because he was laughing to hard to finish the punch line.
Stepped on some kibble.
Discount haircut at the barber school.
Refinish that old chair your grandad bought for you at the flea market last September.
Sign it up for a dating service and claim that it makes $86K.
I want some plasticine but I don't think just a second DON'T TOUCH THAT! I don't think the plasticine store is open today.
Fix the career issue. Get a better apartment. Eat a mango.
I don't think this is going to happen. Anyone else want to make my sig pic for me? The payment is an egg and a length of shiny ribbon. I...
Hey why does staying home alone have a sad smiley? I'm in by my lonesome and doing one of my favourite things to welcome in the new year (of...
Just how hard did your parents beat you?
Practice the Heimlich maneuver on the mailman.
Separate names with a comma.
