I'd much rather be cremated than buried. Fire is so much cleaner and more purefying than laying underground, getting coated with blackish-green...
I was a huge Trekkie (TOS and TNG) for most of my life until "Enterprise" came along and shat on everything the other series had established....
I know my mind doesn't lie to me (Although I wish it would to see how good at lying it is) because any time is does, it causes my penis to grow an...
The best kind of minerals are colloidal. The ground-up-to-the-microscopic-level kind dissolved in ionized water (You can buy them at any health...
Bush is the slimebag who killed 800+ Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis based on a complete lie. Liberating Iraq? Give me a break, we've...
Qu'est-que les mots salete en Francais? Je sais deja "merde" es "shit", "baisez" es "fuck", "salopard" es "asshole", "salope" es "bitch"....
My name is Nathan and I live in one of those backwater, inbred, hillbilly toilets called Boulder Creek, in northern California. I am 31, a hermit...
There is no point in life. That's the beauty of it. It's just a bunch of random shit and we are all its random accidents. And we keep having to...
I think the most successful way to get into an afterlife is to die first.
I don't know why people even care whether or not there's a god. Makes no difference to me at all. If the existence of god were proven or...
I forgot one: all financial-related commercials that use the word PRE-APPROVED. What the hell difference is there between being approved and...
Technically, everybody who has eaten fast food or United Airlines food has eaten the equivalent of poo.
Here's another irritating habit: guys (for some reason, only guys do this) who can't refer to the telephone without making that thumb-and-pinky...
Battlefield Earth is one of those movies that's such a torture to watch, it automatically clears the universe of any bad karma you have. So if...
I keep having this recurring sexual fantasy where Sigourney Weaver, who is twice as old as me, is dressed in her tight, leather "Alien...
Here are some people that need to die a loud, fiery, creatively unique death that involves 140 decibel screaming: * People who use a credit card...
My cat is the funniest whenever he tells me, "Go take a piss on the salad bar at Burger King!"
There are only 3 real solutions to tooth pain. And they are Vicodin, Vicodin and Vicodin!
When you feel the urge to drink, stick a joint in your mouth instead. As an added bonus, there's no hangover. Another way to quit drinking...
If you have to have the misery of your wisdom teeth removed (I did), first of all, go to an oral surgeon and have a general anesthetic; please...
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