How Often Do Straight Guys Have Gay Sex?

If I may be that bitch and make this a semantics argument, I'd say while straight men may have sex with other men, straight men never have "gay sex."

The term implies some sort of emotional involvement with gay feelings. Fetishizing other men and engaging with them sexually isn't always gay, but I would wager gay sex is nothing a straight man would engage in.

Not all man-on-man action is gay sex, but all gay sex is, well, gay sex.

 

P.S.: "It's not something I'd do all of the time" is a reference to how gay men have sex and I'm not gay

I tend to agree with you on this one but... we gotta call it something that differentiates it from saying it's sex because that implies sex with women and I'm glad I didn't create this semantic mess but it's one we have to deal with - and our society isn't grown up enough to just call it having sex, period, and without having to be so specific.

"Gay sex" does imply the kind of sex that gay men have but the stumble is that neither heterosexual or bisexual men are homosexual men so, yeah, the semantics can make you crazy. Lesbians are gay but we refer to the sex they have as "lesbian sex" so as not to get it confused with the "gay sex" that men have and, welp, straight people just have sex.

 

I’m married to a lovely lady.I was curious about sucking a cock for a very long time. I watched a lot of shemale porn and a lot of porn with women giving head. I have to admit it made me want to try oral on a penis. I final let my curiosity get the better of me and did the deed. Once I started I let him finish and I enjoyed it. This was the only time I ever did this. I have no desire to date or live with another man. On the other hand women are what get my attention. Does my one and only encounter make me gay??? I’m curious. PS. I might be tempted to try it again I’m not sure if I will.

 

I've been married twice over the years, and never gave gay sex a thought until after I was widowed a few years. I have no idea why it ever occurred to me in the first place, but I started waking up in bed thinking about naked men as often as women, and after I had sex with a guy, it's become exclusive for me. I had one chance when I got hit on in my teens, but the idea spooked me, and I never considered it at the time--I've often thought that if I could time-travel, I'd go back and give him a shot.

 

Does it make you gay? No.

 

I’m married to a lovely lady.I was curious about sucking a cock for a very long time. I watched a lot of shemale porn and a lot of porn with women giving head. I have to admit it made me want to try oral on a penis. I final let my curiosity get the better of me and did the deed. Once I started I let him finish and I enjoyed it. This was the only time I ever did this. I have no desire to date or live with a man. I do enjoy giving head.

 

I would love to hear the details of how you found your first, how it came about, your thoughts and emotions during and the feelings afterwards. A PM is ok if it’s too personal to post on this thread

 

Yeeeaah-let me think here a minute----oh --now I remember--NEVER!

 

. I always wanted to suck my own dick and tried many times. Just the thought would get me hard. I just can’t reach my own mouth.I watch a lot of porn and read a lot of sex forums. I love being in bed with women and sex is the greatest thing on earth. I started looking at cruising sites and tried to hook up with like minded guys hopefully giving my first bj. Well that never happened. I found an adult video store with a room in the back for shall we say fun? I went there and saw someone interested in doing the deed and finally got a hot dick in my mouth and I even got him to cum. I swallowed my prize and would love to do this again. I never knew sucking cock would be so hot I love it. By the way I’m blessed with a large mushroom cockhead.Thats why I wanted to suck my own dick.

 

Hi Princess: There is not a logical way for a straight male to understand the emotional aspects of sex between two males. For younger males sex is an adventure and will cheerfully stick their tool in a woman, man or a hole in the wall. They then resort to reading about or viewing "gay" sex on line. As an asexual male I find viewing gay videos a waste of time. There are a few authors on Literotica, who recant gay relationships in a historical manner, but miss the emotional feelings they experience. In my medical reality I occasionally turn to erotica to dilute my testosterone induced feelings. It is difficult for males to express their feelings to a man or a woman. It would be interesting to see Gay videos wherein there is a story line or dialogue to understand their actions in the video.

 

I used to write and publish erotica and there were two things I learned about doing it. The first is that there are only so many ways to put A into B, C, or D. The second was that trying to capture the emotions that can be in play isn't easy to write and more so when a lot of the emotions don't really have any words to describe them but, yeah, you know what they are. Yes, it is implied that gay sex is about that emotional connection... because it's what we've heard from many a gay man but I know that I've had encounters with gay men and all they wanted to do was to have sex... and give me grief for being bisexual.

A straight guy could suck cock, swallow that load, and insist that he's still straight. That same guy could either fuck the guy he sucked or be fucked by that guy and still insist that he's straight and he's not likely to refer to any of the sex as being "gay" because that word is anathema. Let's just call it sex, shall we? No need to stick the labels on it, is there? Maybe not but it doesn't change the fact that, socially, we call it gay sex and this has a specific meaning attached to it that I think even makes gay men hurt themselves laughing over. And if you're having gay sex, then you must include the emotional aspects that, again, has historically be attached to gay men and the way they live and love (and fuck).

Now, is there a logical way for a straight male to understand the emotional aspects of sex between two males? Yes - go have sex with a guy because while you can intellectually understand the emotional aspect, there's nothing like feeling it for yourself to get a glimpse of those emotions. And, really, there's no logic where emotions are concerned, is there? Men are "programmed" to be emotionally closed off; men don't cry and all that stupid shit they say that a man ain't supposed to do and that might have worked way back in the 1950s... but it doesn't work today and in a time where there are at least a slew of bisexual men who either want to be eyeball-deep in those "gay emotions" or they're already there and they understand that there's really nothing "gay" about it - but way, way, way, you get it, back in the day, we had to call it something and it's gay sex because it's the kind of sex that gay men have.

Duh. Kinda. The emotional aspects of sex are "easy to see" provided it's not acting, and it can be in porn. Seeing it is one thing; feeling it is something else and as far as I know, there's only way to feel the emotions in question: Find a suitable guy and have sex with him - then examine your emotions. Hell, I can't really explain what emotions I'm feeling when I have sex with anyone and it's not because I find it difficult - those emotions are a bitch to write and verbalize. It's why those who aren't fans of labels say, "Can't we just call it sex without slapping a label on it?"

Sure, we could do that... but we're not going to. "Bi sex" seems to imply that a guy engaging in it is doing so with both a man and a woman but if there's no woman around, does it really become gay sex? And, um, who said you had to be gay to have sex like they do? Because I have sex like gay men do... and I'm not gay. So, how often is... how often they get a chance to have sex with another guy. Nothing to see here, these aren't the droids you're looking for.

 

If I’m curious about gay sex, am I actually gay?

 

In a word, no. "Gay sex" describes and defines the kind of sex taking place - between two (or more) men and, usually, without any women being around but... things change. The sex is gay; the guys having it may not be. But if you are gay, the shoe fits, doesn't it?

 

I've learned that guys can just be attracted to the sex and the guy is "okay" enough to have sex with. There's always been a perception that this is wrong, that you have to have an emotional connection to the guy in order to have sex with him and it reminds me of what my parents first told me about having sex: Don't have sex with anyone you don't love or care about. And then their answer to, "Well, how do I know when I love somebody?" being, "You'll know!" The thing you almost immediately learn about girls is that they're... difficult. That they're raised differently than us guys are. Almost everything with them is conditional unless you know that one girl who'd give it up to any guy with a dick and she wasn't into the feelings of love and affection but she sure loved the sex. Even if you did know her, all the other guys did, too, and you'd have to make an appointment to be able to have sex with her, not necessarily because she's damned good at it but because you don't have to go through all that conditional shit other girls are going to lay on you.

Guys... aren't conditional - we're transactional. We make deals with each other to have sex; if what I want is what you want, we're going to have sex. If what I want is even in the general neighborhood of what you want, get your dick out and if one of us has to bend over and grab our ankles, so be it. We really don't have to like each other, you know, like we're really friends but, again, if you suck cock and I want my cock sucked, we have a deal and now all we have to do is negotiate where and when. Guys - and perhaps straight guys in particular - are happy to have the sex as long as no one gets into their feelings. We act like it's not supposed to happen, but it does. I grew up having sex with guys who'd be all-in for doing it as long as what we were doing didn't look like a relationship or, ugh, homey is filling your butt with his hardness and whispers in your ear, "I love you!" then busts a huge nut in you. Jeez, man, why did you have to go and fuck things up like that?

Now, some guys are about the feelings and the potential for a relationship. That's fine but it remains true that a lot of us aren't, and I'll say especially straight guys who can want to be all up into the sex... but do not, cannot, will not abide by getting into feelings, theirs or the other guy. I'll say that "historically," it's easier to get a guy to have sex with you than it is getting a woman to have sex with you because of women being conditional and a bunch of other things that can make getting them into bed difficult.

How can a straight guy have sex with a guy and maintain that he's still straight? Because it's all about the sex. I like you enough to want to have sex with you but if you're looking for me to like you, um, shit, why'd you have go and complicate shit and more so when I'm not gay? Which, of course, is a fear that a lot of straight guys still have in 2025 because we've had the fear of being homosexual instilled and installed into us and it'll stay there until or unless something happens to change for us. In this, I've said that some gay men... have not done us any favors. Look, I'm straight. I would love to get my dick sucked right about now but the last thing I wanna do is go beg a woman to blow me and, um, don't tell anybody, but if I run into a guy who likes to suck cock - and all I gotta do is say, "Okay!" then, shit, yeah, I'm getting one hell of a blowjob, he's gonna swallow my cum and... that's that. I'm not gay or even bi but I do like the sex.

And despite what we're taught or otherwise made to believe, it's perfectly okay to be attracted to the sex and not the other guy so much... because that's life, too.

 

No doubts about that, my friend! But who ever heard of a cocksucker that doesn't suck cock?

 

I heard somewhere that it’s only a blow job if you get paid for it - otherwise it’s just a blow hobby..

 

Sounds like me. I have been bi curious for a while now. Only thing stopping me is my marriage. My wife treats me very well and I know she would never approve and I will never go behind her back. Having said that I still have a strong desire to suck a cock.