Why do you choose top or bottom?

Discussion in 'Bi Sex Discussions' started by arizonacook, Sep 7, 2021.

  1. thepapasmurph

    thepapasmurph Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    @rockman662022 same with me... I don't know if this is a common thing - as I age, my earlobes have grown larger and my dick has grown shorter... someone told me once it was because I have to listen more intently to hear people and I don't use my dick enough, so it has shrunk. I don't think that statement holds up scientifically.

    I recently watched an interesting video about anal play, stimulation and penetration - it was presented by a man who was very straight and very in tune to what he enjoys - no hang-ups with that guy, and it was very impressive. Basically, to sum it up, he said that men avoid anal play because they fear it will make them gay, or it threatens their ideal of masculinity. He said it's too bad because they are missing out on an incredible experience by avoiding a part of their body that realllllly zings.

    If interested, I decided to post it here for a broader audience: Anal Pleasure for Men | Hip Forums
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2023
  2. Hello, thank you for sharing. I'm not sure that this phenomenon of penis shrinkage is age-related or weigh-related. I think it is connected to usage. I believe that men who live alone, have no partner and whose only sexual outlet is masturbation spend less time with an erection. Which means that erection and time spent being erect might had an effect on penis size. So, the conclusion I draw is that instead of a penis enlarger, like a vacuum penis pump device, we need to get a partner and have regular, daily sex play, intercourse, oral play and other ways to maintain an erection more often. ???
     
  3. Well I'm curious

    Well I'm curious Members

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    I want to know more about why our cocks get shorter asap.

    I want to be sure It doesn't happen to me. Maybe I need to fuck more.
     
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  4. Suburbanray

    Suburbanray Members

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    I think it's a combination of weight gain, not as much fucking, and possibly lower testosterone? And cardiovascular conditioning?
    I know mine wasn't as long as when I was younger when I gained weight. I've lost 40 lbs and it still isn't back where it was. I remember reading an article once that the fat pad above your penis, when it grows with weight gain, can affect your erection length and strength.

    A previous ex-girlfriend had told me that her ex's penis got about 1.5 -2 inches longer after a gastric bypass and losing nearly 100 lbs!

    And the more fat you have, the less effective testosterone you have, and higher estrogen levels, which is a vicious cycle that gets worse!
    Yet having extra weight makes you more tired, harder to exercise and resets the weight your body tries to stay at. If I'd known about the vicious cycle of this, I would have been more diligent against even gaining 5 lbs years ago.
    Thankfully there are some really good breakthrough drugs in the early clinical testing pipeline to overcome your bodies resistance to lose weight, a couple where you don't even really eat any less than before! But it will be 5-10 years before they are out and of course will be absurdly expensive!
    Now, if they made a pill to make your flaccid penis bigger, or just even your erect penis permanently bigger - now that drug would make trillions of dollars! LoL!
     
  5. We both need more, Well I'm curious. The dreaded disease Lackanookie has me in it's clutches! LOL!
     
  6. thepapasmurph

    thepapasmurph Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    That fat pack in the lower abdomen - in that wonderful V that leads to the penis - and that fat around the tummy are hard areas to get rid of when a lot of weight is lost. It is my badge of bad decisions from my early years - when I used food to replace what I really wanted. In my later years, after losing a lot of weight, I've had to live with the fat pack that won't go away - I hate it. Yet, I feel it is kind of self-indulgent and silly to spend the money to have it surgically removed... nips and tucks are expensive and out of my budget, at this point.
     
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  7. DaveTheBiGuy

    DaveTheBiGuy Members

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    It's not something I "chose." I've always been a bottom. With women I can go either way. When it comes to guys I'm a total bottom and the more assertive and sexually dominant he is the better. I've never had the desire to top another guy and that's not gonna change
     
  8. Barefoot Rick

    Barefoot Rick I love my dirty bare feet

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    I also love being the bottom and I will always be on bottom
     
  9. DaveTheBiGuy

    DaveTheBiGuy Members

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    For most, I don't really think it's a conscious "choice." Just like being straight, gay or bisexual isn't a conscious choice. It is what it is. Sure, there are truly versatile gay/bi guys out there, but I think that's more of a "choice" thing, and those guys are much more rare than total tops or total bottoms.

    Just like I have never questioned if I'm straight, gay or bisexual (I've always been bisexual) I've never questioned if I was/am a top or a bottom when it comes to being with a guy. I've always known (since my teens) I was meant to be a total bottom with guys, as the idea of topping another guy never appealed to me, yet the thought of sucking cock and taking a nice one in the ass has always been very appealing to me.
    My first experience with another guy (in my early 20s) was with a bisexual guy who leaned heavily to the gay side of the spectrum, and was pretty "disappointing." I didn't care at all that he was basically gay, but I didn't know till we started hooking up that he was also a total bottom. We hooked up a few times and enjoyed sucking each other's cocks and playing with each other's asses, along with some kissing and making out, but when he tried convincing me to top him I was really turned off, and that was pretty much the end of that.
    My next experience with another guy made me realize that I'm also sexually submissive with guys as well. From the very beginning, I knew he was a total top, and he knew I was a total bottom. He was an older guy (late 30s), very assertive, take charge and sexually dominant. I really enjoyed having him "use" me by face fucking me, telling me to deep throat his cock and having him pound my ass hard and really good. He wasn't really into kissing (and that was ok with me) or sucking my cock (though he would occasionally give me a hand job), but it felt so right and natural to have him "use" me and sexually submit to him.
    I always knew I was a total bottom with guys, but he also made me realize that being sexually submissive with men was also was also what I needed and felt totally natural to me
     
  10. thepapasmurph

    thepapasmurph Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    @DaveTheBiGuy Isn't it interesting as a total bottom how it goes, that you don't really even need to cum. It's like we're having some other type of orgasm. Amazing. I never thought I'd want to be a total bottom - but I evolved over time - I didn't always think I this way - I felt more versatile in my younger years. I never desired to fuck someone though. I have, but I wasn't driven to do it.
     
  11. biboroguy12

    biboroguy12 Members

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    Ha! Ears do get larger. And yes my dick is an inch shorter than when in my prime. It has shrunk enough that at its most flaccid state it appears to be uncircumcised with foreskin almost entirely covering the head. Still gets plenty of use almost daily and last week four time in one day. As far as anal, that is almost daily as well between buttplugs and dildos.
     
  12. LowHangers

    LowHangers Members

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    Once my ass lost its viginity I wanted to feel that sensation time and time again as I became an anal slut just like my first wife was. She only allowed for to fuck her ass but I was letting anyone who wanted to fuck me, and the bigger the cock they had the more I wanted it.
     
  13. Hugorod

    Hugorod Members

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    I dont choose one or the other it depends on my mood. Some days I wake up and want to pound a nice hole, some days I wake up and feel like a feminine lil bitch and need cock in me.
     
  14. budg282

    budg282 Members

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    I always had more interest in bottoming and have extensively used butt plugs and dildos over the last few years. But I recently topped my fwb and it was really hot and a lot of fun. Now I'm finding myself turned on by guys asses which I never really was into before. I still really want to ride my buddy's cock so I think I'm trending towards a vers with equal parts top and bottom.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2023
  15. parris001

    parris001 Guest

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    For me, it feels to good to swap. I don’t desire a man’s tight butthole wrapped around my shaft near as much as I’d rather feel a chap with good girth stretching out my backside. And as a bonus I’ll need his nuts deposited deep inside me.
     
  16. Uhardrodnme

    Uhardrodnme Members

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    very good -- I really like it when a guy gets turned on by my ass! If he's clean & decent, wanting to get into my ass is all it takes for me to get turned on for him!
     
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  17. DaveTheBiGuy

    DaveTheBiGuy Members

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    I've always been a bottom. It's not something I "chose", it's who I am.
    My first time with another guy was both exciting and awkward. He was also a total bottom bisexual guy (and leaned heavily towards the gay side of the spectrum). It didn't bother me at all that he was basically gay, but I didn't know right away that he was also a bottom. Being older than me, physically bigger than me and having a really nice cock, I just "assumed" he was a top. I was wrong.
    That didn't stop us from having quite a bit of fun while it lasted. He was the first guy I kissed, made out with, the first time I sucked another man's dick (and swallowed his load). He was a great cock sucker too, and yes, he even fingered my ass a couple times while sucking my cock, which felt really really good.
    Ultimately though, with both of us being bottoms it didn't last very long, as we both wanted cock in our asses, and neither one of us was willing to budge on that.
    Looking back on that experience now, it's easy to say maybe we should have found a total top for us to enjoy together, but that's not how it worked out
     
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  18. thepapasmurph

    thepapasmurph Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    I recently met a great guy - I am physically/sexually/emotionally attracted to him. Unfortunately, he is a bottom, and so am I. It is ironic that gay/bi men are already in the minority but that we also have to navigate this top/bottom thing - and even though I have heard there are plenty of guys who are "versatile" and some guys call themselves "sides", I think if there is a bottom in the mix of it, that bottom really wants to be penetrated.
     
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  19. DaveTheBiGuy

    DaveTheBiGuy Members

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    I agree. In my first experience with another guy, we were both bottoms. While we both enjoyed the kissing, making out, and sucking each other's cocks, we both ultimately wanted the same thing, which was to be topped. Even though that was my first same-sex experience, I had absolutely no desire to top him, and he wouldn't budge on the idea of topping me either.
    That was over 20 years ago. To this day, I still have absolutely no desire to top another guy. I'm a total bottom. Always have been, always will be
     
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  20. thepapasmurph

    thepapasmurph Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    My first experience was with a friend on mine - one night out, drinking... on the way home, he made some moves on me. I dropped off our other friends and he and I went out again. AS it turned out, he was a top. I hadn't even ever acknowledged I was gay, much less a bottom. But, I knew I wanted to suck his cock, and even though I was scared... I knew I wanted him. We were both inexperienced and it did not go well... but I will never forget when the tip of his cock brushed my ass-crack - and when I felt his head push against my hole - I had an instant orgasm. Man, I would love to get with that guy again. LOL
     
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