Jimbee68's blog

And I think I have an example of another business to add to the list of people who may have abused me in Dearborn. A restaurant at the that mall there. It's permanently closed now, I just read. My father and I used to go there late nights. This is when we had to go out late. So it was probably after my uncle died in 2006, when we kept much later hours. There were some workers there who were very nice to us. Like that one waiter I think I already told some people in my life about named L. But one to of the regular workers, I think another waiter, was there once. And this was around the time I still thought I'd be arrested very soon on made up or trumped up charges, and then abused for years in prison. And he went to the door, obviously expecting a guest there. But when he got to the door, he looked out, and then looked back in the restaurant. Obviously at me. And then back and forth several times like that. He was acting rather silly, I should also point out.

I told my attorney at the time that. He didn't know what to say. And he looked around confused and surprised when I told him what happened. Because it was very strange what that worker was doing. He was clearly looking back and forth at me. Maybe like he wanted me to think that the police would come soon to arrest me, I thought at the time too. And he was acting silly, I clearly recall too as I said.

This might sound strange. But Mayor Mike Duggan taking office in Detroit in 2014 might have had a lot to do with my case. Around 2001 gay men in Rouge Park in Detroit (a well-known gay cruising area here) were being arrested by the Detroit police. Not for having sex in the park. Just for being a nuisance. There was 1964 law still on the books that said it was a misdemeanor to be a nuisance in Michigan parks. The undercover officers would talk to them for a long time, eventually making them think they were gay too. And then when they asked if they wanted to go to a nearby motel or something for sex, they arrested them. One man just winked and walked away, and they arrested him, tackling him to the ground. Another man was in a jail cell awaiting trial for that, they said in the media then. Until Mike Duggan, who was the prosecutor of Wayne County at the time, put an end to that practice. Saying that doing what the Detroit police were doing would be like sending an attractive female cop to a singles bar undercover, and then arresting all the men who hit on her.

I know there were stories in the news around that time of the Detroit police using their work hours to pursue things not related to work. Like baseball, for example once. But I don't think I was the only one who was wondering. There is so much crime in Detroit, and we can't even solve all our rapes and murders. There's a huge backlog of those now. But police pursuing their own personal moral and political agendas? That is taking that kind of bad behavior a whole step further. Actually even a couple of steps further, with the details I just gave.

And like I said, the Detroit police, the Dearborn police and others like that EMT in Oak Park in 2013 had a private agenda. One to take away my car even though they knew I was an excellent driver. And now I learn they also knew I was one the few people in Detroit who bothered to even have auto insurance. Of course my neighbors and legal guardian are still thinking about it. They were both clearly showing that couple of months ago. My legal guardian lamenting that my auto insurance costs him too much, and some of my neighbors pointing an laughing as I walked to a corner store. Because they thought I finally lost my car. My neighbors I can just ignore. But I'll be dealing with my legal guardian for years to come. And I think he's already been studying up on how to manipulate the power of guardianship to your advantage. From the police it seems, like I just said.

I'm also a little confused by the legal definition of abuse. I do know in 1988 if I filed a patient's rights abuse claim against that hospital in Dearborn it would have gone nowhere. They wouldn't have done what they did to me if they thought I could simply file a claim like that. (Which, not to digress, but has me wondering. Can any mental patient file a patient's rights abuse claim in Michigan? In 1988 I certainly couldn't.) But what counts as abuse?

I know in my life, coughing, using numbers and ordinary words, humming loudly. (Because that really annoys me, that last one, and want people to stop when they do it. So they do it more and more, because they know there is never anything I could do to make them stop doing that in public.) Making everyone in my life, everyone, tell me something that upsets me a lot at the time. Like I was ugly, as a child. Insinuating I am too mentally handicapped to drive. That last one being a horrible, violent threat, not just form of abuse, like I've said. All kinds of horrible threats, and doing them in a way that shows they can get away with them, and no one in US knows about it or could stop them. Limiting my access to important restrooms, on my way home for example, as I already explained. Taking away from me things that are just simple pleasures, but doing that to show me even those can be taken away. Public humiliation, sometimes with false accusations. Which I know were no accident sometimes, that last one BTW, false accusations (I am going to have to inform people more of that too). Horrible injustices. In other words showing me that I don't even have basic rights that I thought all Americans just automatically had and could never be taken away. And then mocking me with that and rubbing my face in it. I could go on and on, but those are all the forms of abuse I have experienced.

But to focus on the supposed harmless ones, I actually sometimes wonder about those ones especially. Because abusers often do that, say that they are just engaging in harmless behavior. I had an uncle who did horrible things to a cousin of mine. And one of the things he did was tickle him, claiming they were just playing. But he tickled him until he was covered with sweat and crying. Or I was thinking of another good one, one that I have even shared from time to time online. What if a child is a vegan, and their parents are meat eaters? And what if they claim that in their house everyone eats meat? I really don't know how that would be handled legally, if the child was under 18. Because parents do have the right to raise their children as they see fit. Jewish parents can demand their children grow up Jewish and don't eat pork. Same for Muslim parents. Actually, put another way, vegan parents would be well within their rights to demand their kid not eat meat, even if they loved it and were strong supporters of carnism. But feeding your kid meat, in the first example, could become a form of abuse. And what if you were cruel about it, but maybe in a deceptive way. Serve your child veal every night. Because you know, veal especially upsets vegans. But you serve it to them in way that is not obviously cruel. It's just what's for dinner every night, IOW.

I just wonder about all of that above. What was done to me was obviously abuse because I told people immediately I really didn't like it, and then they continued to do it and then did it even more. All of that above was done to me in excess, and many times it hurt me and even damaged me for life or caused me serious psychological and functioning problems. But the legal definition of abuse is a good question in itself I think.

And really that's all I ever wanted in life. Just a walk in the park or to collect sports cards. Something so simple and seemingly unimportant, and yet it meant so much to me. And those six years I was ill, 1983 to 89, even that was out of my reach. Something so simple and so cheap, and people in my life like the police told me I wasn't even entitled to that. I was telling my therapist that it was almost as if people were trying to destroy my very peace of mind by taking away even the simplest of pleasures from me. And he laughs a little, almost as if he knows what I am talking about. It was a form of psychological abuse I now know.

And it has left me permanently damaged. And if I lost my feet and my hand, I could forever lose my ability to drive. And everything I have now is based on that, my access to a car. I couldn't be independent, I couldn't live my life, I could take care of my most simplest needs without driving. I tried to explain that to people starting 2004. And I was an excellent driver with good insurance. Unlike most of the people in Detroit, I found out this year. And they said, yes. But it would just make them feel better if I didn't drive. And then they started teasing and taunting me and treating me like a child. And what if I lost my sight? My lifespan will be forever shortened with diabetes. There might even be something even more seriously wrong with me. I don't know because my doctors won't tell me. It's a secret, I'm told. They say I don't have diabetes anymore. Is that even possible? I'm not doctor, and all of them supposedly are.

And all of that stupidity could have easily been avoided if I just never took those medicines, those medicines I never should have taken to begin with. And none of this was ever necessary with me, and none of it would be justified in even the most extreme case. And now I could lose everything. But no one cares, no one feels responsible and no one wants to help me. And my legal guardian is very angry now. I'm going to need his help now for the rest of my life. Things like my washing machine are beginning to break down in my house. But he is very angry, because he somehow blames me for all of this.

Like I said, I don't know how all of these places are connected. I know that Chinese restaurant in where I tried to get a meal once in 1990 or 91, because the bathroom there was so vital to me. (Like I said, my doctors tell me the damage to my bladder is very serious now. My bladder walls are stretched thin and very rubbery, they tell me. And everyone in my life already of that and my Cerebral Palsy by then.) It was in the same parking lot as the buffet I used to eat at in the late evening. And the waitress or owner was obnoxious with me, almost as if she seemed to know that I was eating there to get permission to use her restrooms. She really did. The male worker jokingly picked up the phone and said "Dearborn police?" It was in Dearborn Heights actually, like the park where I'd like to go for a walk when I felt down. But both cities border each other and both are in Wayne County, like Detroit. Now it does seem like she was acting weird and seemed to know me. Even though we never met and I never did anything wrong there. But forgetting that for the moment, most or all of my problems are centered in Detroit and Dearborn in Wayne County. In fact the worst abuse I got was always in Dearborn. That is where that hospital was, that is where my HS was. (Where that girl there coughed like she was launching missiles, in volleys of three. And then a couple of seconds either I heard three strikes like she they hit they target. And that boy was obviously coughing on purpose, for several years at least. But fellow students said that's just the way he coughs. And coughing, unlike sneezing or burping, is never to be questioned socially [seriously, they did say that]. And I told fellow student, you're coughing loudly and disrupting class. But they said, look at the teacher. Does she seem to mind. And they were right, she didn't.) That's where the strip mall was where I almost lost my license for pouring coffee, in downtown Dearborn. And that mall was in Dearborn, where the cashier made a scene because he told me he was morally opposed to my interest in football cards. He told me that in a crowded store. (And I might as well tell you as long as I am mentioning it. That mall I just mentioned is the same mall where around 1980, I seemed to be able to restore sight to the blind.)

Now the incident that happened September 11, 2013. (September 11, 2013, where the arriving paramedic seemed to know me, and was concerned I was crossing a yellow "carefully, carefully" enough while an older driver didn't even see me or swerve.) That was in Oak Park and in Oakland County. Which had me surprised at the time, because like I said I thought my problems were in Wayne County, and Detroit or Dearborn. Oakland County is very different politically from Detroit and Wayne County. And I wasn't even sure if the police, first responders and others communicated that much. But they seemed to have been communicating about me. But why? I never did anything wrong. I was only minding my own business, and if I lost my car I'd be attacked on the way to that nearby drug for sure. Attacked or worse, I thought. And everyone, by which I mean the people in public services in those cities, knew about me. And they were part of all of this. All of this unethical and even possibly illegal behavior, against someone who was very law-abiding and just minding his own business. I get the impression now, from people's reactions now and other things, that the reason why everyone was doing all this was because they had some information on me all wrong. But that doesn't excuse that kind of behavior. That kind of behavior should never be tolerated. It's always wrong, and plus as I just said, people doing it might have their information all wrong. Just like with that practice of publicly humiliating mentally ill and handicapped people. What they accused me of at that drug store in 2011 was obviously false. But the other customers didn't know that. And we don't know what became of that rumor. And I live a very violent city where law enforcement is stretched very thin. I'll always be in danger because of that last one too. Always in danger, and like I tell people. That's another reason why I must always have a car.