Jimbee68's blog

And you know, if you want to know what Shakespeare had to say about my situation. It is found in the Merchant of Venice too ironically. Antonio is about to be probably killed by Shylock, when he will probably cut too deep getting his pound of flesh. And Antonio famously laments I am a tainted wether of the flock, meetest for death. Meaning it's like he's living in the wilderness, about to be devoured by the wolf. Because that's what even herbivores do in the wild. They let their handicapped and weak brethren fall to the predators like lions and wolves while they are all being chased. They could stop to help them. Herding instinct, strength in numbers, whatever you want to call it. But that would be foolish from a evolutionary standpoint. But we aren't sheep, we're humans. And like in the Merchant of Venice we have a way of dealing with the human predators among us. It's called jail and prison.

As I said, since the threat of a night in jail had little effect on Eric's behavior. And now he's left town after possibly vandalizing my house. I want a full month in jail. Actually, that would be in a Detroit jail now that I think of it. Because I live in Detroit, and so that is where all his crimes of neglect and harm took place. But I have no control over that. And I want some serious jail or prison time for those predatory Detroit policemen. Who seem to think they will always be above the law. That is why we still need prisons. To protect the weak and vulnerable. Like me, for example.

Also I should point out while I was at DMC Sinai-Grace 5 South, I was the target of antigay comments and threats. As soon as my room mate accidentally overheard me talk to the staff I guess. Then my room mate eventually made threats against me. He was walking suspiciously by my bed at night. He was just looking at a small fixture on the wall. Maybe the light switch. The staff said he was probably looking for the thermostat. And then I just asked him what he was doing. And right away he started threatening me. So they got me a room to myself and another room mate several times. I was the subject of antigay threats and antigay comments. Even the staff made a couple of antigay comments in front in of the patients and others there once or twice.

I have Cerebral Palsy and cannot defend myself. Plus to be blunt I am not used to that kind of treatment and situation. I have lived a relatively sheltered life. And it was suggested more than once I might be someday going to a group home in Detroit. That can't be allowed to happen. It would be cheaper for my legal guardian Eric. And plus I'd be out of sight and out of his hair there. (When I was at 5 South I had little access to the outside world. That would be a big plus for that too.) I don't know why Detroit is so homophobic. Or more homophobic that surrounding suburbs IAE. It might be due to lack of police enforcement and the social problems we face here. But I would not be safe in a setting like that. And I'm "noncompliant"? I will always need Eric's money and help. But I have always maintained he is the one noncompliant. He doesn't take good care of me. He did better in the past. Then I exposed what a terrible person he was, and he has never forgiven me. Maybe a short stay, like in a jail cell, would make him more compliant. Because I can tell we will be going through this for the rest of my life now.

As I said, if were up to me I'd keep Eric as guardian. I need his money. The trust really isn't nearly enough to live off of. And I will need more money than just that some day, clearly. For all the special equipment I might need. Just mobility aids, and all the other things I will need from the damage that was done to me. That was done to me, but hidden from me and the public for years. At the very least I will always need a car. Due to the fact I have Cerebral Palsy, and need mobility like that. My problem being on time for appointments, now made worse by my mobility. It already takes longer for me to get ready. And I don't know what the future holds like I said. And the danger now walking in my neighborhood. Now that my neighbors have been told two horrible, untrue things about me. And we don't know where those rumors went. And Eric would still rather not pay for my auto insurance. Because his money is worth more to him than my life and safety. And obviously because this is prearranged thing he had with the police, which I plan on spending the rest of my life looking into as I said.

And the police are Eric's allies now, because they identify with him? They don't identify with a less fortunate person like me, but with an upper middle class suburbanite like him? Because that almost reminds me of what that poster said on that UK message board. About that quote from Timon of Athens that begins Alcibiades, thou art a soldier. I found it by accident with a Ctrl + F search. But it talks about how Alcibiades was an honored guest at Timon's banquet. But he was still a soldier therefore seldom rich. And we only find out later on in the play that Alcibiades was Timon's only true friend and ally at that banquet. Eric can only serve a short jail sentence. To ensure his compliance and that he takes better care of me. But the Detroit police for their role in all of the could always serve a much longer one. And then forever be disqualified from holding public office like I used to tell people. Because they might think they have a high status in society like Eric. But they are still seldom rich, and really couldn't afford a good lawyer like Eric. And plus in case they don't know, I'm sure Eric is already planning how he'll turn against him in the end. Maybe that quote is just another Ides moment in the play, foreboding who you should consider your friends and who you shouldn't like that poster said. And who you should consider your real ally too. Maybe someone same income bracket, instead of someone who just seems to share your views.

Like I said, I thought things were improving before July 22nd. I thought perhaps maybe even everything was resolved by then. And then I get led away in cuffs by the Detroit police, obviously for absolutely no legal or legitimate reason. And none they would ever tell me either. That is beyond outrageous. Like I told people at the hospital, this has all been taken to a whole new level. And now I will ramp up all my efforts, not relax them. Those three talking points that I will always repeat. And I am demanding, yes demanding, much more jail and prison time for all involved. And I mean it this time and I will accept no less. I would have preferred to relax and have some quality of life in my life. But I guess I can never have that and never will. And I'll never know when this is over. Even when it seems like it is, it starts all over again like some plot to a horror film. Just like the car thing. My psychiatrist would drop it, then he'd bring it. Then he'd say it was all over for good. And then bring it up a couple of year later. Obviously on purpose, obviously as a deliberate and very planned form of abuse. And anytime I tried to just enjoy the simplest pleasures of life, which to me cost so little and are so innocent, it was taken away. Again on purpose I now see. My therapist laughs a little whenever I say that like he knows what I am talking about. I am sure that he does.

And also I don't know how far I can trust the doctors in my life. I have no one else to go to and I have to work with them. But now they tell me everything is fine, I have no diabetes, the symptoms I thought I was having, for example each time I ate even a candy bar (my feet ache, remember) were just a placebo effect. I find that hard to believe. But really I don't know. I am not a doctor. And like I said, when is it ever morally permissible for a doctor to harm a patient? And now I am at a point where the damage from that Olanzapine could be prevented. But no one seems interested in doing that. Everyone is obviously lying. They always are, I just am not sure about exactly what. And nothing is being done.

Well something will be done. Prison time and no less, like I said. And I will keep repeating those three talking points everywhere I go till the day I die. There is a record of all of that, and they are all unbelievably outrageous. And I will keep remembering more to support they happened, and give more dates and events that help support what I am saying.

My oven light in my stove seems to finally have broken. The stove was very old, it dates back to the 70s. I will need a new stove probably very soon. But it looks almost like someone vandalized my kitchen just to be funny. Eric said there was a broken water pipe in the basement. But why would someone be doing work like that in the basement anyways. It all makes no sense. And Eric can't leave me now, now that I need him, his money and his help and support more than ever. He needs to be forced to be a better guardian towards me. I know they told me at Sinai-Grace hospital that I can't force Eric to be my guardian. But I think I can, and I must. Without him I'd be homeless soon for sure. Just my inability to handle things like finances. He can't just leave me like this. And now permanent damage has been done to me. And there was never enough money in the trust. Money I may need for all the special things I may some day. Just the fact I have undiagnosed Cerebral Palsy is a game changer. Plus I need a car for all those things above. And my independence, and my safety. My neighbors were told two unrelated serious, untrue things about me. And we don't know what became of that rumor. My safety will be in danger for the rest of my life. I will always need a car, and the trust doesn't have enough funds for that either. This is a very serious matter. And I don't see why people think I am asking to much of Eric or why they think he is the victim in all of this. Like I've said, I am being treated worse that the most horrible criminal. And I never even did anything wrong. This matter has to be handled just as I said. And Eric must never be allowed to leave as guardian under any circumstances. And like I said, we'll probably be going thru this every year now.

Plus as I told people in the hospital. This will not deter me from my efforts to expose those three things. That I was endangered and treated horribly with that car issue. All while I'm actually one of the few good drivers with good insurance in Detroit. And I was driven to suicide, by people following some moronic mental health advice that threatening some poor, weak innocent man with a lifetime of neglect and abuse in prison on made up or trumped up charges was a good thing. For over 20 years that went on. All starting in DMC Sinai-Grace Hospital in Detroit in April of 2004. And as I said, it almost did lead to tragedy a couple of times. But no one as far as I can tell really seems to care. They still want to pin the blame on me. And it couldn't have been more obvious I had Cerebral Palsy from the earliest age. My doctors and others saw all my peculiar symptoms associated with that. And they either pretended not to notice or said it was just normal. I plan on exposing all of that. And I want serious jail time now, more than I just originally wanted. Especially if it's come to something like July 22nd. I may not know what people are planning. But I can see to I the world knows those three horrible secrets and that there is some justice all involved face for all of that.