Jimbee68's blog

Just to make clear just as I've told my doctors, I will someday just stop signing those fake consent forms for my procedures. They are moronic and they are outrageous. And plus something should have been done by now. And then as anyone who knows me would know, I will just never sign them again. I think that's called passive resistance. Of course if it all ended, the fake forms, the secret guardianships and all the secrecy, I would stop then. But that creates a serious problem. How would I even know if it was over? Even if someone proved it to me, I would just have to assume they were lying and deceiving, only maybe being more cleaver about it this time. And what could someone do to win my trust? Some of the worst abuse I ever experienced was by kindhearted, very nice and decent people, who went out their way to earn my trust. Right before they really hurt me badly. Like that one nurse in that hospital in 1988 and 9. Of course I know normal people don't behave that way. Which is why I thought maybe that all never happened. But that shows how little all the people in my life can be trusted, how low their morals and common human decency is and how little they care about my welfare or life, or really anyone else's. On the other hand if I saw real change, in the laws of Michigan. If I saw people really held accountable for what they did to me, and held accountable for what they did to others after that I revealed. And if I saw people go out of their way to make sure the rest of my life I have a good quality of life and all the medical care I need, state of the art in fact, I probably would be persuaded a lot by that.

And also what they did to me has forever shorten my life and affect the quality of the end of my life. I will need real options then like the right to die and even assisted suicide if it becomes necessary. And I told them if any was to object then, my response and my approach will always be the same. It was their faults, the police, the mental health workers in my life and all the rest. They led me to this point, they shortened my life and forever changed the course of my life. And now they have the nerve to limit my choices after putting me in that position.

And like I told my therapist, and just to repeat, or to make sure I didn't leave this out., my legal guardian is going to make sure I have the best medical care money can buy. The best treatment, at the best facilities and always cutting edge. No expense will be spared. Or if he doesn't, he will face serious legal consequences. Because he will try something, at least down the road. We all know he will. And he will do all this even if it leaves him in serious debt, even if he has to live out of his car at that point. And, provisions will be made to make sure this continues if anything happens to him.

He and the others permanently damaged me, because this only seems right. Right if not already required by law.

Like I said, I better see something done eventually in my case. I wouldn't ever believe it. But I still find it insulting that as far as I know nothing is being done. Especially now that I am permanently damaged, my life forever shortened with diabetes, plus the special care I will probably need some day. And none of the people in my life will ever have my trust again, and they shouldn't. No doctors, the police, hospitals and social workers. But it's all their faults, that will be always my position and I will make sure the world always knows that. And I will obviously just stop signing those fake consent forms some day. They are so stupid and so insulting. And since I don't need to sign fake forms ever, nor will I ever after that, if I am denied medical services I will immediately file complaints, taking action and telling others about it too. That alone is unbelievably outrageous. Legal forms should never be fake. There is no situation where that could ever be justified or legal. We should always be able to trust the integrity of our legal system. I am going to make sure the world knows that. And how many other people did they do that to? And how far did it go? Were houses sold out from under them? Were they denied custody of their children?

And I guess that man will have to be my legal guardian now. But he will make I have, including all the expensive medical care I may need. The necessary things to my life, and others too, even if it is not part of the law in these cases. Like a car, a private home and a good quality of life. He will do all that or face the legal consequences. And he will go into debt to do all of that if necessary too. And then his son will take over. I don't know if he has enough funds. So a provision will have to be put in his will that makes clear a large sum of that money will always be set aside for me.

And I want changes. Changes in the law, changes in policy and changes in the way I am treated and my situation is handled. And I want all responsible for all of this held accountable. As I said, just being part of the crowd is never an excuse. And we have to make sure no one thinks it can become one.

There is still a lot of secrecy in my life. I guess there just always was, I just didn't know about it. There also is this idea hurting me is justified. I was recently reading online that hurting a mental patient is never considered legally justified, not even in the most extreme cases. And my case is not in any way extreme. But there does seem to be a lot of misconceptions about me and my case, probably from childhood on. And now people in my life like the mental health authorities and the police are trying to hide and cover up their mistakes. Even though I've been permanently damage, my life is forever shortened and I don't even know what the future holds with my medical care. The fact I have Cerebral Palsy will probably complicate everything. But my doctors are lying to me. I don't even know what's wrong with me. My A1C is obviously not 5.4. I obviously still have neuropathy. In fact it seems to have spread to my hands. And it might even be getting worse now, like within the past couple of weeks. And I wonder too if I didn't get brain damage. I thought I might have in 1984 with that Haldol that I never should have been taking then, and that I only took at a low dose and very briefly. And now I do have issues that do seem more neurological than related to neuropathy. I wouldn't know, because no one tells me. My doctors of course would know, but they won't tell me. And that one doctor seems to hint I may even be suffering from kidney failure now, even though my blood tests supposed reveal nothing wrong.

All of this could have been easily prevented, none of it was ever justified or necessary. Not even remotely or at all. There is damage now that will require special lifelong care. And there is damage now that could be avoided now. And I don't even know what's wrong with me. That is why it is important for patients always to be informed. Informed if half of the phrase informed consent. Because even if you can't consent, you at least have the right to know what is going on. Because like I said, then you exercise the de facto right to not go along with the treatment if you are outpatient. And now things like a car, a home, and things like a car and a front porch that are handicapped accessible and more, are more important than ever before. I know when the police were trying to take away my car, basically for no reason, and while all kinds of horrible crime was going on uninterrupted right in my neighborhood, they said that was not their concern. The harm they were doing, the horrible affect it would have on my life. They just caused the horrible problems in my life and for absolutely no reason. It was in no way their responsibility to solve them then. I totally disagree with that now. I think all the people who did that all these years, all the people who permanently damaged me and shortened my life and all the people who forever changed the outcome of my life even though I did nothing wrong and nothing to them to deserve this, do have the responsibility. The responsibility to make sure I always have everything I need like a car, that I have a nice place to live and a good quality of life too. And now I am going to faced with medical issues I never was going to. I was probably going to live a long, happy, pain-free life. Cancer really doesn't even run in my family, and people on my mother's and father's side all lived many years before they died. Now there's a good chance that I will live a short life and die in a lot of pain. And I will need things like medical consent and the right to make decisions about the end of my life more than ever. But so far as far as I know nothing is being done, no one cares and the problem doesn't even exist.

Like I said, I want all those things done for me. And I want real change too. In Michigan and this country after that.

Like I said, there are several disturbing practices in my case that the public is just not aware of. And I suspect they are used in many other cases. Probably the patient never even knows. Damaging the patient's body with dangerous psychiatric drugs and then withholding that from them. While they slowly gets conditions that will surely shorten their life. How many people have died from that? And you all do see what I mean here when I say that my life, and the life of other mental patients too I guess, have less worth in others' eyes and are seen as expendable? They view them differently and with clear bias and prejudice. And their neighbors are told terrible things about them, possibly endangering their lives in a place like Detroit. That should end whether what the neighbors are told is true or untrue. There is no need to get the neighbors involved in any way with their care or treatment. And they are publicly humiliated? And they are severely psychologically abused? Like I was at that hospital in 1988 and 9. In my case it couldn't have been for any legitimate reason. But as I said, there could never be a legitimate reason for medical staff to deliberately harm a patient. And then they are secretly followed around by the police? While they are doing nothing? And the police think so little of them they think they can just take away their car. Just to make them feel better, and just because they can. With absolutely no regard to their independence, their ability to go to doctors, their safety and security even. All while horrible crime is taking place not far from them.

All those practices are going to end with me. I'll see to it if it's the last thing I do. Fate has spared my life for a reason. And I think that's probably it. And the people who did these horrible things to me since around the early 90s, if not since I was a small child, are going to make amends for it. They are going make sure I have a long, happy life with me always being well-cared for. A car and and house too. And guarantee these things will never happen to me again, or anyone else either.