Duncan's Blog

"I don't know. I've never looked."

As a rule I don't write about sex on this website (unless I am in a serious 1:1 with someone who is overly curious). I've passed the age of being curious (at any level). After many years of being served Neapolitan and Spumone, I have come to learn that my flavor of choice is vanilla... sometimes French vanilla.
My two favorite venues for action are the bed or the tub (in that order). The days of having sex while standing up are long over. Such positioning generally makes me light headed and the thought of having blood rush from my head while I'm standing is not at all attractive to my way of thinking.
More often than not, sex is not made available. Or--imagining that the outcome would be worse than the actual activity itself--I find that i often say no to the possibility of carnal intercourse. Is there a substitute for sex? I'd say food.
Then you're probably wondering what kind of food would be a substitute for sex? How about breakfast? or tea? Mushroom omelettes with smoked fish, sauteed onions, sweet butter, and a roll with marmalade. Or pasta with diced tomatoes. How about sliced foul meat (turkey, duck, chicken) served up on crackers with a rich English cheese or even a stinky spreadable cheese such as Boursin.
I can think of endless carbohydrate dishes; potato pancakes, potatoes O'Brien, potato salad. Or rice in rice pudding or rice served with tofu in brown sauce and black mushrooms.
Clearly, I much prefer to think about food than about sex.

From dictionary.com
currency noun, plural cur·ren·cies.

something that is used as a medium of exchange; money.
general acceptance; prevalence; vogue.
a time or period during which something is widely accepted and circulated.
the fact or quality of being widely accepted and circulated from person to person.
circulation, as of coin.

From Merriam-Webster.com
currency
noun
cur·ren·cy
plural currencies

1a: circulation as a medium of exchange
b: general use, acceptance, or prevalence
a story gaining currency
c: the quality or state of being current : currentness
needed to check the accuracy and currency of the information
2a: something (such as coins, treasury notes, and banknotes) that is in circulation as a medium of exchange
b: paper money in circulation
c: a common article for bartering
Furs were once used as currency.
d: a medium of verbal or intellectual expression
… neither side possessed any currency but clichés …—
Jan Struther

I must admit, I seldom use the term outside of foreign money exchange. The word came to me when I was thinking of a synonym for 'vogue'. Vogue seems a bit pretentious. And the last time I used that word was when I was assisting a wigmaker with an ad she was placing in the PENNYSAVER. The copy I had offered (to women who had an old wig that they didn't like to wear much) was, "Give you wig a new 1980's vogue!" Yeah, so you could look like one of the GOLDEN GIRLS!
So often I think of myself more in terms of being retro or of holding onto things that are and remain timeless. Of course, what *I* consider to be timeless is not the same in every home. For example, I wear 100% cotton to work. I drink hot tea that has been steeped from loose leafs. I eat beans that have been soaked overnight and cooked for > 1 hour. I prepare soups from scratch.
I miss playing cards with a living person. I've tried doing it online, but more often than not, the opponent remains mute.
Perhaps my retro lifestyle can become popular currency for those who have never heard of most of the things about which I have written.

What does sloppy seconds mean?
Sloppy seconds also refers to dating someone after they’ve just broken up with someone in your immediate social group.

Sometimes, it refers to having sex with someone who’s just finished a sexual act with someone else.

I have cruised a number of dating and/or hook-up websites in my days. I am amazed at the number of sites there are for gay men that have participants who are unhappily married. This is particularly distressing with men who are 70+ and who make it known that they are more interested in sex than their partners.

As a rule, I don't have 'relations' with men who are in a relationship. Even if they state that they are poly-amorous or in an 'open' relationship; I try to be respectful of the other person on whom the cheating occurs. I don't think it makes me a virtuous person, rather it goes back to the golden rule. Whenever I had been in relationships to which I was committed, I did not look at others.

These days, I'm not sure what it is people want. I'm not interested in living in a family-type lifestyle. I think I would do better in a commune of introverts. Good luck finding such a place!

There are times when I reflect on the cultural differences between the urban American 1970s life(stylle) in which I was raised and the cultures that speak languages other than my brand of English. in the high school French book, there was a dialogue among family members at the table (lunch time? dinner? who knows?). The girl had asked her brother what Americans eat. He told her that they eat buttered bread with their creamy soups.
Her response was, "Du pain beurré avec potage ? Quelle horreur !" (Buttered bread with creamy soup? How awful !).

We actually had discussion about the names of different types of soups in French cuisine.

You've got thick soups : cream, purée, chowder, bisque, and velouté

Thin soups : consommé, broth, bouillon

Cold soups : consommé madrilène, Vichyssoise, Andalouse gazpacho

And National Soups : Minestrone Italy, Green Turtle Soup England, French Onion Soup France,
Petite Marmite France, Scotch Broth Scotland, Mulligatawny India, Gazpacho Spain, Manhattan Clam Chowder America, Camaro Brazil, Laberkroedel Germany, Paprika Hungary, Bortsch Polonais Poland, Hotch Pot Flamanda Belgium, Cock-a-Leekie Scotland, Creole New Orleans, Mock Turtule Soup U.S.A., Boillabaisse à La Provençale France, Chicken Broth England, Busecca Italy, Olla Podrida Spain, Oxtail Soup England, Zuppa Pa Vese Italy.

I remember once being invited to my mother's friend's home for lunch and she served Campbell's chicken noodle soup with a tuna fish one white sandwich. She put the soup down by itself and I asked if that was all she was offering. She told me that in her house the meal is served in courses and that soup is always first. (I felt like telling her that in our house, grapefruit or melon is first, but I was the guest). When she saw me take the crackers and crumble them into the soup, she was horrified.

"What, you throw them in whole and mash them with the spoon?" I had asked.

"No. You're supposed to eat them after a spoonful or two of soup. One cracker should be consumed in four to five bites."

Mind you, this woman was as big as a house, but she had obviously paid close attention to what was going on in the home economics class. Here is a paragraph from my Mother's household cookbook from the 1950s.

"Soups should be an important part of any low-cost menus, not only because they are highly nutritious, but because to delicious soups may be added food ingredients which the average housewife may normally discard. The water in which meats, fish, and vegetables are simmered, as well as the liquids from canned vegetables*, contain much of the precious vitamins and minerals and should be used as a liquid in the preparation of soups. They can be saved and stored in the refrigerator for future use. Scraps of raw or cooked vegetables, fish, meats, and bones should be used in soups together with the addition of the lower-priced cuts of meats. Inexpensive meat cuts have essentially the same nutritive values as the higher priced cuts. To obtain the full flavor from such soups, always simmer or boil these soups in closely covered kettles. A helpful hint to keep in mind is that soups made from these leftover ingredients may very often be improved with the addition of a can of prepared soup."
* I am assuming (but don't hold me to it) that canned vegetables are the ones that the housewife makes and cans herself. I definitely would not recommend reusing the liquid that's in a can of green beans or carrots and peas!

I am quite familiar with the concept of mixing soups. Sadly, the book does not feature beans. The only recipes that I had gotten for such dishes from it are lentil soup and mushroom barley soup. The cookbooks of the time are very meat-centric; the author even made comments about fish claiming, "Fish dishes, very often, are time savers for the busy homemaker, inasmuch as the cooking time for most fish is short. Fish, then, should always be kept in mind as an alternate, bot a substitute, for meat in the daily menu."

As I have gotten older, I have developed a greater appreciation for having less meat in my diet. Trust and believe, one is quite capable of racking up calories without the assistance of meat products of any sort.

I keep tabs on what goes into the mouth and this evening I decided to make a sandwich for tomorrow's lunch:

Multigrain Bread, 2 slices 90
Walnuts, Chopped, 14 g 93
Peanut Butter Creamy, 2 tbsps 180
Apricot preserve, 1 tbsp 60
TOTAL 423

This is the calorie count for a basic PBJ sandwich. I added chopped walnuts for a little texture. This may not seem like much, but bear in mind that I am only eating 1200 calories a day. This is a little over 35% of my total caloric intake.

This is probably the most difficult time of the year to work at weight loss/maintenance. People are throwing holiday parties and there is a seemingly never-ending offering of fried foods and vegetables.

Oh well... I never seem to tire with my discussion of food.

Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®) personality inventory is almost like a parlour game for some people. The only thing that I can say about one of the test's findings (in a 'duh' moment!) is that I am more introvert than extrovert in my personality.

noun
a person who prefers calm environments, limits social engagement, or embraces a greater than average preference for solitude.

Psychology. a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings.Compare extrovert

versus

noun
an outgoing, gregarious person who thrives in dynamic environments and seeks to maximize social engagement.

Psychology. a person characterized by extroversion; a person concerned primarily with the physical and social environment.Compare introvert
This all comes to mind because I recently came back from an overnight trip to Las Vegas. I went alone and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Those who are not of this personality type seem to have a difficult time grasping it. I never understood what there was not to understand. I do as I please. I make my itineraries. If I opt to change things, I don't have to go through a democratic process of asking someone else (or others) if they are in concurrence. If something doesn't turn out as I would have wanted it to, I have no one to blame but myself (or the person or thing that made it so).
Trying to explain the difference between being alone and being lonely is one of the harder ones. I love my solitude; I play the music I like, don't worry about the volume of the television, or eat when I want to. I can have coffee or tea at 10pm. But being lonely is another matter. There are times when I do want physical contact, or to play a game other than solitaire... or to reminisce or to get another opinion on how a food tastes. I cherish my friends and friendships. I have quality over quantity.