Duncan's Blog

I've noticed on FACEBOOK, that many of the URLs I have copied turn up as 404 pages. I therefore try to include the text wherever possible !

Taken from the webpage: 3 Ways to Socialize As an Introvert - The Tech Edvocate

"Are you an introvert who struggles with socializing? You’re not alone. In fact, many introverts find it challenging to navigate social situations. But fear not, because developing your social skills as an introvert is possible. Here are three effective ways to help you socialize as an introvert.

"1. Leverage Your Interests

"Find activities and gatherings that are centered around your passions or hobbies. This will make it easier for you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your interests. Attend local clubs, workshops, classes, or online forums where discussions revolve around topics you are passionate about. Engaging in these activities will allow you to socialize in a natural and comfortable setting, making it far less intimidating for you as an introvert.

"2. Practice Active Listening

"Introverts are known for their observational and active listening skills, which are essential for building connections with new people. When engaged in conversation, focus on what the other person is saying and respond thoughtfully. This demonstrates genuine interest and makes the other person feel valued. It also takes some of the pressure off yourself since you don’t have to worry about coming up with small talk all the time.

"3. Set Realistic Goals

"It’s important to recognize that you don’t have to become the life of the party overnight. Set realistic goals for yourself when attending social events and interacting with others. Start by initiating conversations with one or two new people during a gathering rather than trying to strike up conversations with everyone present.

"Also, remember that it’s okay to take breaks during social events when necessary—if you start feeling overwhelmed, step away for a few moments to recharge before rejoining the group. By setting realistic goals and being gentle with yourself, you’ll gradually build your social confidence without excessively stressing yourself out.

"In conclusion, being an introvert doesn’t mean that socializing has to be an insurmountable challenge. By leveraging your interests, practicing active listening, and setting realistic goals, you can develop a more comfortable and enjoyable social life. Remember, introverts have valuable qualities that make them excellent companions—embrace your unique strengths and let them shine as you connect with others."

Klezmer music: from the past to the present - Institut Européen des Musiques Juives

How I feel about music is yet another odd aspect of my life and personality.

claustrophobia
[ klaw-struh-foh-bee-uh ] noun
Psychiatry.

1. an irrational or disproportionate fear of being in small or confined places and being unable to escape.

Why is this word here? Well, music has been known to induce this in me.



I'm not much into music or dancing. Feeling trapped when music is loud or annoying is probably not what one would imagine could happen to someone. By contrast, I don't feel this way when the polka or ragtime song is playing. Others who hear these sounds complain that the music is boring and repetative.

To each his/its/their/her own.

Is this a blog entry that represents a double standard ?

Once a month, I have dinner with folks in a group I belong to. During the last dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory, there were four women and three men at the table. Two of the men (I was one of the two) had nothing to drink. One woman to my left drank from the table wine bottle. Two women ordered a single mixed drink before the meal. One woman and one man had a total about three martinis each; before, during, and after the meal.

During the meal, the woman martini drinker got loud. She also dropped the F-bomb throughout her story telling. She picked on the waitstaff mercilessly. She spoke of her academic job in science; handling cadavers for students of anatomy.

I never took a liking to her because I never fully trusted her. I had discovered, for example, that she had found my ANCESTRY.com account and had copied the information. She even asked me questions about my personal life and family which were totally inappropriate because everyone who knows me also knows that my personal life is not something I share publicly.

I won't sit near her and--while others insist on hugging upon arrival and departure--I will not include her in the ritual. Should introvert me be forced to hug someone I don't want to touch?

I also have come to the realization long ago that I don't like being around folks who drink. Are there differences among and between them? Absolutely. But I am of the opinion that there are people who can drink responsibly (know when the limit is reached and not exceed it) and those who drink with the purpose of getting pie-eyed in mind. I don't much care to be in the company of anyone who is loud or using vulgar language in a public place.

So I avoid her. I sit at the opposite end of the table. And I shield myself from privacy invasion. But the question is why do I hold/have a double standard? There was a man who was doing the same amount of drinking. He got talkative and wouldn't stop babbling about the brilliant things that he has accomplished as evidenced by his financial success. The two women who both ordered a drink before the meal also had alcohol in them. They, however, stopped after one.

Such is my thinking on the subject of women who drink. Women who are loud in restaurants. Women who drop the F-bomb when telling stories.

Guess my hippie profile has a touch of old fuddy-duddy in it !

The Hebrew word chai is a symbol of life, vitality, and good luck. It's made up of the letters chet and yud, which add up to the number 18, considered lucky.

It is common (for me, anyway) to keep low balances in lesser used accounts. There had been need to keep different accounts for different purposes over the years. I had never opted to close the accounts as I have always been under the impression that closing accounts (regardless of which side is doing the closing) is bad luck for your credit report. Of course, there have been closed accounts when banks went out of business...

HIBERNIA BANK
BOWERY SAVINGS BANK
HOME SAVINGS OF AMERICA
WASHINGTON MUTUAL
SECURITY PACIFIC BANK
FIRST NATIONWIDE BANK

Need I go on? Anyway, several years ago when I was on holiday in San Francisco, I decided to find a itsy-bitsy teeny-tiny itty-bitty financial institution for me to leave some money behind. I figured it'd be better than converting it into coins and throwing it into a fountain. So, while tapping down the streets of Chinatown, I chanced upon the NORTHEAST COMMUNITY FEDERAL CREDIT UNION. Back then, it had only one branch and it was located on Walter U. Lum Place. So I went in and opened an account.

It's one of the most primitive credit unions I have ever dealt with. It doesn't offer checking accounts (where you write your own check). It doesn't offer credit cards. It doesn't even offer ATM access. So, what do I do with it. Every week, I send a deposit for chai ($18). No one has ever asked me any questions. About five years ago, I added it to my payroll allotment. That little credit union in Chinatown was able to access the money and deposit it appropriately. NEVER HAD A POSTING ERROR IN ALL THIS TIME!

What I still find a bit unsettling is the rule of holding funds. Can you imagine doing business with a financial institution for nearly two decades and still have holds of ten days placed on your deposits? Oh well... I still make a point of going there whenever I'm in Chinatown in San Francisco. I make a deposit that depletes my other accounts down to about a dollar and a quarter and I then make a hefty withdrawal from the credit union so that I have me some San Francisco mad money.

Chai ... it's life!

Once upon a time there was a maternal grandma. No one visited her or talked to her. She spoke accented English.

The only things she made over the fire were salmon croquettes and bread pudding. Everything else was either boiled or served cold. Chicken was boiled, for example. And the cold meal? Rice Krispies with milk or bananas and sour cream.

I suspect the condition of her teeth and the available ready cash in the pocketbook were also determiners.
She arrived to Ellis Island on the Nieuw Amsterdam in 1920. I assume she had no facility with English since she seldom spoke full English sentences when I arrived in America (as a native) some 40 years after her arrival.

Whatever happened to the papers? The unofficial word was that they were flushed down the toilet. It seemed like a valid notion... poop and pish all of your kosher food from the intestines and then mix the contents of the bowl with torn identity papers from Rzeczpospolita Polska (the Republic of Poland).

Don't forget to spit on the ground after the country's name is mentioned.

...

Apparently there were too many obstacles in the maternal grandmother's lineage and Polish citizenship by birthright would not be granted. So there is her late husband--who was Hungarian--to look into. Isn't it amazing how Americans are looking for a European passport to be handed over to them based on where their forefathers came from and America is rounding up immigrants who lack papers and wishing to ship them off to G*d knows where.

SAD