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  1. Advice shared between two friends is free. It's not some kind of life consultation session where you sit down with your friend and discuss what they need to do in order to get out of whatever shit they've somehow gotten themselves into, then proceed to receive a consultation fee. Friends help out, you know. You want to see your friend excel in life, and therefore you offer them pieces of advice where appropriate, and they do the same for you. Friendships are great indeed.

    So, this friend of mine told me a while ago that he was in a bit of a situation concerning his living arrangement and his room mates. It sounded to me like he was no longer happy to be living with these people, and the gist of it was that they all had to move out of that particular location at the end of the month, anyway. So, I offered an exceptionally sensible piece of advice: "Give your room mates a full one-month notice, then just part ways with them." It just sounded like he had absolutely nothing to gain by keeping association with them, and besides, I know him well enough to know he either thrives beautifully or wilts into oblivion depending on what kind of people he surrounds himself with. These two people would simply fuck him over in a long run, and my gut told me just that. My friend was thankful, saying my advice was very sound.

    Then a few weeks afterward, I found out that he was actually moving into a new dwelling somewhere in a crappy neighbourhood with the same two people. It sounded like they pretty much convinced him to stick around, mostly for the sake of their own financial ease. I'd already had a bad feeling about these people from what my friend had told me from the start, so my reaction to that was, "are you really, REALLY sure it's going to be okay??" He was like, "yeah yeah, I'll get the entire basement suite, so it'll be fine." Then he moved into this new place, and I didn't hear from him for about three weeks.

    Yesterday, I received a message from him basically saying he got fucked over royally by his room mates, and that he was rushed into signing a shitty contract where he was now required to pay more than his share of rent. A major face-palm moment. They got my friend by the balls and knew they could easily push him over and about: precisely, PRECISELY what I had feared might happen. To top it off, now he's saying he's had to decide to act civil toward them for the sake of his own sanity. I mean, seriously dude?! So, he's going to be stuck with these schmucks for one more year, paying a greater amount of rent than he should, while pretending like things are peaceful between him and the fucktards.

    Somehow, "I told you so" just doesn't quite say it. I feel like an idiot for offering what would have been a life-saving piece of advice to him, and seeing him toss it away like it was nothing, and then to hear that all the shit I warned him about is now happening to him because he DID NOT LISTEN. AGAIN. Man, this isn't the first time he's done a complete 180 after initially finding my advice helpful, only to become a miserable mess because he reversed his decision. This whole bullshit pisses me off to no end because it could've been rather easily avoided, only if he'd listened to my advice like he'd initially said he would. But what am I, his babysitter, or what? He's a grown fucking man. I hate to say this but he's brought this onto himself.

    I'll always be there for him because he's a buddy of mine, but fucking sonofabitch, "WTF were you thinking?!"

    Alright, I'm done ranting.

    #80
    You and ZenKarma like this.
  2. I've found myself in numerous debates over the past, what, 13 years as a member of HF. What I have found is that those who have earned my respect are the ones who know how to hold their end of the arguments. Usually we'd both agree to disagree in those cases, and that's cool.

    Sadly, a lot of people aren't that good at debating. They simply aren't ready to debate. They'd say something, and when they are met by an opposing view, they just don't have a very good argument to counter the opposition. Sometimes they even go as far as to block you the moment you say something they don't like, even if you've been perfectly respectful. They just can't take it.

    Also, the ability to be able to admit your faults is a very good thing in my opinion. I recently did just that when I was participating in a particular discussion. I said something that was out of line, and I realized I was out of line, and therefore I apologized. It's not like I did a complete 180° in terms of how I felt about the particular situation, but There was something about how I was perceiving the situation, and the way I was coming across, that needed to be rectified. And I was a man enough to recognize it, and admit it. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to do the same in a debate, and this is how a debate turns ugly.

    I've come across so many people who would oppose my view on something, but wouldn't have a very good argument to counter it. They'd then resort to stupid things like repeating themselves without making any progress in a discussion, name-calling, blocking the opposition in the midst of a debate, throwing a temper tantrum aimlessly during a debate........well, you get the idea.

    And yes, this is the way it is on the Internet. But it's also the way it is outside the Internet. Even before the age of the Internet, this kind of thing was observed all the time. I suppose it's part of being human, but I believe we as humans are more gracious than we've allowed ourselves to become. We are more intelligent than we've been conditioned to become. We are more sensible than we've allowed ourselves to become.

    And lastly, we are more humane than we've been conditioned to become.

    #80
  3. Well, first off, thank you to those of you who have liked my last blog entry, and to those who follow my blog now!

    Now what the fuck am I going to talk about here? LOL

    Anyway, It's been almost a month since I've become active on here again, and I must say HF never disappoints! It's still the same old drama-filled place where new members are necro-posting 10 year old threads, or making new, often controversial ones only to disappear after a few days, while the old-timers either offer serious replies - I tend to do that - or be totally sarcastic - you know who these members are, lol - and thus scare many of the new members away. But whatever the case, it's always been more entertaining than other online communities.

    It does feel different to an extent, though. Back in 2005/2006, this place had more of a community feel and people seemed more "free", if you will. By 2009, it seemed like things had become more subdued in certain areas. And then we experienced that big change from the old site format to the new one. A lot of old-timers stopped posting after that. I was talking to someone about this very subject the other day in the chat, and and we were both in agreement that we missed the old HF. But that's okay, nostalgia is a healthy thing as long as one does not let it rule one's own life.

    It's interesting, too, that this time around I've been pleasantly interacting with those who I'd never thought I would due to, shall I say, our philosophical differences. Even the ones who I'd previously perceived as unpleasant a few years back don't necessarily strike me as horrible now. But I just might jinx it now that I've said it, damn! LOL I'm not going to lie, there have been unpleasant encounters but it seems my level of patience has grown greater with age. That's about the only good thing that's happened to me as I got older, haha.

    Private conversations have always been great for the most part as well. I'm not one to be engaging in a whole bunch of PM's all the time, but the conversations have been pretty cool in various ways, from interesting, entertaining, fascinating, helpful, amusing, to enlightening. That hasn't changed this time around, though, the aspect of WHO I've been talking to definitely has. I guess time does that. There's a long-time member here who no longer seems to be active, that I was exchanging email with until a year or two ago. I kind of miss interacting with him. Maybe it's time I sent him another email.

    Disclaimer: I don't condemn necro-posting. Hell, I think that's better than making a whole bunch of new threads that talk about the same bloody topic, like the penis size for example.

    #80
  4. There were times when I was very much active here on Hip Forums. I had made some really cool friends, had great conversations, and also gotten sucked into the internet drama. I remember the first hiatus that I went on was just a few months after I first joined this site way back in 2005. Then another hiatus in 2006. After that I would pop back in occasionally but wasn't very active, until perhaps 2009 when I started to become somewhat more active again. During this period, I started posting blog entries most often on here which appears not to be accessible any longer. Kinda sucks because I like to think I'd written some good stuff, if nothing more than for nostalgic reasons.

    By 2011, though, I had once again stopped being publicly active. I still exchanged PM's with a number of people, but would refrain from making public posts for the most part. The last few years especially have kept me from being active on here due to personal reasons(aka: life). And yet, I seem to always end up back here.

    Thirteen years can be both a really long time and something that flies by super fast. Sometimes I long for the good ol' days when I was part of a group of these great fellow HF members. Sometimes I miss the friendships I'd developed with this member, or that member. Sometimes I regret pushing these people away due to my personal situations. But at the same time, I have made a decision many years ago never to mix my AT life with my offline life again. So, I suppose I have to pay the price for maintaining this double life, so to speak.

    The truth is that HF is the only online community that I feel like I can somewhat safely come back to. Not that I have never experienced negative things on here in the past(on the contrary!), but it just seems that I can't really function well within other online communities, maybe save for a particular porn site, lol. I don't know what I'm doing here this time around, to be completely honest, and there's also a likelihood that I'll go on another hiatus soon as well. But what I do know is that I'm here now, and that's really all I've got at this point.

    May 2018 be a great year for everyone. :)
    #80
    You, ZenKarma, morrow and 2 others like this.
  5. So I just noticed the journal section is now available to us non-registered members as well....or maybe I'm just a total shoe and didn't see it before. Hmmm.... Shoe? Roll with it.

    Being Alternative_Thinker on HF has so far been both satisfying and agonizing. Satisfying because, despite my unorthodox stance in life, a number of people have shown interest in becoming my friends. Some are still actively posting on here, others have become quiet for their own reasons. But I still talk to them, and I am honoured to be their friend.

    Being AT is also agonizing because, well, it's just due to my unorthodox stance in life. I simply look at it as a given. Especially because I tend to meet more opposition than allies, the allies I meet on here mean so much to me.


    Anyway, enough of that for now.... At any rate, thank you, my friends! :)
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