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  1. You're alone in the world, and it seems there's no one who can understand where you're coming from.
    You're a minority, a threat to society, and you're seen as a disturbed entity.

    I'm not just talking about myself, but if you are an alternative thinker, you encounter opposition. To the world, you're opinion is like a deadly bomb.
    To them, you're a terrorist, no different than ISIS. They hear what you say and get pissed, and there's no denying this.

    Even when you're just an online persona, if you're like me, you remain honest.
    But you still must wear a mask, if you want to complete your task. No need to answer sensitive questions they ask.

    And just like that, you approach the cyber world, a cyber society, and kick the hornet's nest.
    Almost everyone will oppose, some of them will try to break your nose, no one will send you any rose.

    Some of them will also become determined to have you locked up.
    Welcome to a dystopia, where everyone has "youphobia", making you realize this is no utopia.

    "Protect our society", they say, "you're fucked up", they say, but in the end, they are the ones that are fucked up.
    Society has brainwashed them all, Blue Pills available at every mall, and if you try to stand tall, they'll try to make you fall.

    The State vs. Alternative Thinker, this is a tale of anyone who has taken a Red Pill.
    You're on the run, the world no longer seems fun, where their justice is done, by a gun.
  2. This is going to be a short entry.

    The feeling of yearning for someone can be overwhelming at times. That can actually mean you're intensely thinking about multiple identities. But you know where your "home" is. I think that's important. But hey, sometimes you can bring others to your home. It doesn't happen all the time, and it requires understanding of all parties involved. But that in itself shouldn't be a bad thing.

    I love my home. That's the bottom-line. And I guess it'll be a while until we can be ready to invite people over in that way.
  3. I sound like I've got a developmental disability, but that's just something I have to get over and keep working on.

    Vocal training. When you're an okay singer but your range is extremely limited as a baritone, and you want to sing like, say, Rob Halford or Steve Perry, for instance, then you're in for a hell of a ride trying to extend your upper register. That's right, that was what I meant by "sounding like I've got a developmental disability", because when I practice those range-extending vocal workouts, I do certain things with my voice where, to an outsider, I would sound absolutely ridiculous. My voice would crack, it would go whiny, it would flip, it would shake uncontrollably, it would do all kinds of unflattering things. But all this stuff that I'm going though is necessary if I want to gain more vocal range and improve its longevity.

    The human voice is an incredible thing. With proper training, you can strengthen your voice, add more range, and do all kind of cool things with it without really damaging your vocal system. But it's also very easy to ruin your voice as well, if you're not careful. This blog entry isn't a vocal lesson of any kind, nor am I a vocal instructor, so if anyone is interested in learning how to increase the vocal range, my advice would be to do a lot of research. I also like YouTube because there are so many singing tutorials on there. The general rule of thumb is that, if an instructor actively, and repeatedly bashes/challenges/taunts other instructors saying stuff like "what they're teaching is bullshit", then I wouldn't really pay attention to that instructor. With some research, it'll start to become obvious which instructors are legit.

    Getting back to my vocal training, prior to starting it, the highest note I could hit was really not that high at all. I could hit it, but I couldn't do so repeatedly since I'd get exhausted from practically yelling it out. My throat would become sore, and I would need to rest my voice for a duration of time before I could hit that note again. I needed to rectify this issue, and thus began my vocal training last year. It's a long process, but I've definitely noticed some improvements. The oddest thing is that the super high notes, I can actually hit now. The trick is the notes right in that area where the voice starts to want to break into falsetto. For me, this region may contain up to like seven notes in semitones(half steps if you're a guitar player), and strengthening this particular area has been a real challenge so far. This is where I start sounding like I'm mentally challenged during training.

    Luckily, I tend not to practice when I'm around people. I like my solitude here and there, and this is definitely one of those instances where I require it. But the fun thing is, the next time I'm with my friends and end up with a container of Advil or something in my hand, I get to do the Rob Halford scream and go "This. Is. The. Painkiller! Pain! Pain! Killer! Killeeeerrrrrrr!!!" LMAO
    You like this.
  4. It seems like a pattern has formed lately where so many people, mostly men and often high-profile figures, have been accused of something, usually sexual harassment of some sort. This has now become an international phenomenon rather than something that has only happened in Hollywood. But whenever I hear about these instances, there are some things that I find myself asking:

    One, is that REALLY true?

    Two, is it REALLY necessary for this situation to be publicly spoken about(AKA: media coverage)?

    Three, is it REALLY necessary for the public to jump to their own conclusion, based only on media coverage, about the people involved in the situation without really having been there to witness it firsthand, or to experience it themselves?

    Of course, sometimes it IS true, and there are also instances where the public deserves access to such information. But there are times when I hear about some high-profile person being accused of something, and I can't help but think, "something's not adding up".

    One actor was accused of drug use a while back, and he ended up being forced to retire from the entertainment industry. The accusation was never confirmed to be true.

    One politician was accused of sexual harassment and was forced to resign. He wholeheartedly denied the accusation, saying that he would fight it in court. The accuser wouldn't even come forth to confirm and support her own accusation even in a fully private and safe setting, away from unwanted eye.

    There was a news flash that one musician, in a drunken stupor, kissed a minor. The matter was already settled outside the court even before the media coverage. Everyone started bashing him anyway, and he probably will never be permitted to work as an entertainer again.

    Something is not adding up. And yet, the public would simply accept what they hear to be true. There is something about cases like these that make me wonder just how much of what we're hearing is accurate. I even find myself asking, "what if these people had been set up?" Of course, the public doesn't find a thought like that nearly as entertaining as the idea of a popular celebrity going down in an ugly mess of a scandal. Trust me when I say that this type of mentality that a lot of people seem to possess disgusts the fuck out of me. This is why I'm not a fan of media, and I'm sad to say this, but most people as well. There's always a part of me that doubts their sensibility and compassion unless I know them well enough to genuinely be able to say that they are good people.

    The act of accusing, if done properly, is the right thing to do. It is a brave thing to do. But if it's abused, and/or done in the wrong way, it has enough power to completely destroy someone's life, along with the lives of those close to them. In the recent years, "public shaming" has become such a popular practice on the Internet. Someone would post on social media that they (thought they) witnessed some inappropriate behaviour, and would thus encourage everyone to "like, share, spread the word, and subscribe! #metoo" But if we're not part of the law enforcement, we're not the police. We can't assume this kind of power without really, REALLY knowing how dangerous that power is the very moment we use it incorrectly.

    Sadly, we live in a world today where most people just don't give a shit. They prefer the "blue pill", so to speak, and continue to seek entertainment in reality shows, social media, fads, and in another's misfortune.

    The scenery is depressing from the outside.
    You like this.
  5. It's been nine years since I made an entry about a hat I bought. This was before HF changed their interface, and I'd actually had a number of blog/journal entries posted back then. Too bad you can't access your really old journal entries from before the Big Move, so to speak.

    Oh yes, this hat........... I'd been super excited about it when I got it in 2009. I would wear that hat all the time that year. A typical fur felt fedora, meaning it's better quality than a wool counterpart, certainly more expensive than the latter, and definitely not a summer hat for obvious reasons. Although, I think I've read that some people wear those even in the summertime. I'd probably suffer from heatstroke if I did that, lol.

    One thing about hats is that, if I like a hat, I wear it OFTEN. This means I would wear it in all kinds of weather conditions. I also have a beaver felt cowboy hat that no longer quite fits me, but that thing went through some serious abuse. It got rained on so many times, it got dropped in a lake, it got snowed on, it got sat on, and I feel like it still has life inside it. In my old journal entry from 2009, I'd referred to this hat as "an old friend". Nine years later, we've both gotten older. Even the hat I purchased in 2009, the main topic of this blog, is older now. I feel like I've gained another "old friend", and that's always cool.

    So, why am I talking about this 9-year-old hat, you ask? (Wait, you weren't asking? Doesn't matter, it's my blog and this is where I share my thoughts and feelings and random shit.) Well, the truth is that this hat hadn't been wearable for the past few years due to shrinkage. I'd really wanted to take it to a hatter to get it resized, but I'd just keep putting it off and putting it off.........until just today, I decided to simply take the matters into my own hands and stretch the bloody thing myself. So I did that using steam and this huge bowl that also has enough depth. The result is that the size is a bit bigger now, but I really do think it's shrunk a little bit since. Maybe applied too much steam afterward while trying to reshape the hat, and that might have caused the crown to shrink again. But at least it's wearable now, and I'm happy about that because it's like I got my old friend back. But I think I'll put it through another stretch at a later time, just to further enlarge the size.

    The 27-year-old cowboy hat is a completely different matter altogether. I thinnk I'll just take it to a hatter to get it resized. It might even be too small for my head now. But maybe in the future, I might have a family of my own where someone in that family might want to wear it. It's a good quality hat, if beaten up, so it could be one of those family heirloom type things, lol.

    Yeah, I do love hats, lol.
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