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Anyways, just to make clear what is happening my life now, they hurt me, they lied about it, they kept the damage hidden from me for years, and now it's too late. They psychologically abused me. Since childhood I think, but at least since 2004 at Sinai-Grace hospital everyone seems to admit. My doctors are lying to me, they won't even tell me...

As far as actions the state wishes to prevent (by which I mean harmful, but some people still say sinful or immoral ones too for some reason) it's important to realize. Thoughts, inclination to do that, actions, the law. Those are all very different things.

All of this debate I am talking about seems to involve treating anti-social behavior and violence as an illness. And in many ways my case may involve that, which is ironic since I have never had any tendency to be violent or break the law. Quite the contrary I think. But this debate also reminds me of the novel and movie A Clockwork Orange,...

And like I said early on, my police precinct, the 8th precinct, might have an important role in all of this. It's hard to say, and I may never know. I guess if I was a common criminal I might see the police more, but the fact is a I rarely encounter or interact with police in any way. But the 8th precinct has a horrible human rights abuse...

Anyways, to once again make clear. I have no proof of this, but I know I must be correct. Someone was trying to keep me in a constant state of panic. And I think it was to support the argument that I was out of control, that I needed to be medicated too. I reached a nice comfortable plateau after the Elavil in 1989. Which is common they told me...