He's one of those guys that's probably a bit above average in intelligence, but not enough to justify his attitude. He sits there talking to himself all day long, and if anything happens that he doesn't like, he mumbles endlessly about how it's all "bullshit and fucking stupid."
1) He's a bicyclist. Every day him and his cycling buddies stand around his cube discussing various routes they could take on their lunch hour.
2) Every day at 9am he eats a yogurt, and scrapes every last bit of it out of the cup. Then he burps for the next 20 minutes.
3) He is a chronic cougher than refuses to use cough drops or mints or anything to help alleviate the coughing. It eventually turns into something other than coughing. "uuuuNNNNGGGGG!!! NNNNNGGGGG!!!!"
4) You know how sometimes your nose is plugged in a way that you can't blow it out on a tissue, but you can maybe suck down into your throat and spit it out? I heard him attempt this for about ten minutes today. It made me gag, and I used to sling shit in a nursing home every day.
5) He yells EVERYTHING HE SAYS when he gets a phone call.
Thank god they let me wear headphones, or else I might consider murdering him.
(Who am I kidding? I consider it every day.)
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