Contradictions!

Published by Penny in the blog Penny's blog. Views: 8

I think that, if there is one particular personality trait that I have, it's that I am a person full of contradictions. Not that I cannot make-up my mind, but I am one way and its extreme a lot, don't like black or white but black AND white... for instance, I love nature, the country, seaside, calm... but I also adore big loud energetic cities and their crazy life. It isn't even a mood thing, like... today I'm more in the mood for this and tomorrow that... no, it's both, together.

I am a dreamy, soft-and-gentle, quiet, reserved girl... but at the same time, I am passionate, on fire, expressive... I am cool and bitter... sweet and sour. I am positive and negative, cynical, sarcastic, harsh, but so understanding, compassionate, there for you... and you're not my problem.

It's strange. I don't know how to explain. I don't know if... there's one side that's more me, who I really am, and the other side is me when influenced by circumstances. It might actually be a mood thing. But I am not unstable, as this may seem. I would say, versatile. That's it.

In the past I used to let my emotions (which get very intense) control me... make me litterally sick. I've gotten past that, mostly last summer... and for what was left of it, little by little over the past year. I am now in full control of my emotions, sane.

I am intense, but I have learned to turn that intensity into its most positive form, instead of letting it be craziness... intensity means emotions felt as fully and completely as can be, but the difference now is that I don't act out my emotions, although I feel them. I don't reject them... I mastered them. Being passionate and versatile makes me an individual who won't be boring and always interesting, I think. A person who will have substance, life, but who is mentally healthy, happy, and will stay that way or only get better with time and age, a little bit like wine.

At the moment, what am I like? One thing I can tell you is that I don't wanna be negative and sour anymore, after I have been for quite a while. I'm aiming towards positivity, but intelligent positivity, not naive positivity. I am sweet and understanding but certainly not letting you step all over me. I forgive, but don't forget. I feel very adult but innocent at the same time, I want to have fun but feel responsible, strong... but not strict. I'm open and sexual but not a slut or a whore, and have big brains and knowledge and experience while still remaining somewhat candid and fresh... in my 22nd year on Earth.

I am weird, artsy, sophisticated... and simple.

I'm Laety, and I cannot be compared to anybody.


*EDIT*


More contradictions I love:

* I like bands like The Zombies, and also punk-rock. Lo-Fi, and Roxy Music (other stuff too, but these are great extreme examples)

* I like cute things, being cute, acting silly... but I am very smart and can have very complicated, philosophical discussions.

* I loooooooove chilling, pot and mellow moods, watching movies all day isn't a problem for me, reading for hours and hours... cuddling and kissing tenderly... but I can adore going out, doing stuff, dancing, partying, fucking like a beast...

I just know myself very well, actually better and better with time. I talk about myself right now, describe qualities I have, and can seem totally conceited and full-of-myself, but if only you knew how humble I am... but I don't mean I have no self-confidence and make myself feel better with self-directed complements. It's not that. I am self-confident, but I am not full-of-myself. I don't consider myself some great being, superior of some kind at all... but I know I'm not a piece of shit. Self-love and understanding is the key to loving and understanding others truly.
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