And The Tears Did Flow

Published by fjdreams in the blog Fjdreams' Blog-orrific Extravaganza Espectacularsíssi. Views: 460

My heartbeat is noticeable to me, surprising as I'm usually calm or just plain unaware of my interoception. Something keeps me in my parked car for a moment. I pretend to need to check one last work email before going in, but I know it's a ruse. I know the onslaught of emotion is near, and I do not feel ready to face it yet.

I kill the engine and slowly step out into the summer heat. The steps into the facility seem long and ominous, a first villain to be defeated before I'm allowed access to them again. How can one be so nervous when returning to one's own? The woman at the counter, with a child clinging to her hip, steps aside for me. She continues the conversation with the lady behind the desk. This is run of the mill, and my nervousness and awkward unfamiliarity with the process neither bothers nor intrigues them. I fumble with the pen, curiously eyeing the strong, yet tired woman with her child--and it's genuine curiosity. Will I even remember today when my time here becomes so routine?

"So I just go get them?" She smiles, still lacking comfort, and nods. I step into the long hallway, with my heart now banging almost comically, like a cartoon pounding visibly through my throat. The door to the room is glass, so I furtively try to take a peek, try to imagine what their day has been like. Did they think about me? Do they know to? But, seated next to her brother at the tiny table, wearing an oversized bib and a frown, she sees me instantly. The lip quivers and she bursts into tears. I can't know what is going on in her developing mind, but if I were in her shoes I'd imagine it was overwhelming relief. I came back.

Of course I did, my pearl.
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