Let me be frank. I am a nineteen year old zombie, living with family who are also zombies. Most of the time they watch tv and go to school/work. They talk about doing other things but either go gambling or go out to eat. My family has very little personality and whenever we go to some kind of function we get the most depressing glares aimed at us. Rarely do I hear an original thought come from their mouths. They show the intelligence of eight graders. They rarely do anything productive, my dad lies to himself. To feel okay he washes dishes, and then watches T.V. I see myself doing the same, except I clean my room. Our house is messy, plain, boring, scuffed and unfinished. My dog is mean. He will bite you, he will bite me. Our diet is horrible. We live off Junk food, besides my mom, and it shows. We have no work ethic, morals, common sense or discipline. I am a compulsive liar, I probably lie every day. I rarely do school work. I smoke pot quite a bit. I smoke cigarettes. I constantly blame depression. I’m so lazy I would use depression as an excuse, now I have it. I will often hurt my friends feeling. I am hostile. I have zero hobbies and zero skills. At the work I barely speak more then 20 words. My mom thinks my eyes look dead. I'm an insomniac. I feel like I am fitting the profile of some kind of serial killer. My room is messy. Food is all over in my room. I failed so many college classes. I am quitting my work tomorrow. I need help. I feel scarred for life. I feel like I'm becoming my dad.
Find a way to see a shrink. And maybe wait to quit your job until you have a better one. Then you can take the $ and get the hell out of that house!
I some times feel that way man. My dad is quite smart, moms kind of on the desperate house wive stage. My Both sides of my family are fucked and mostly juust depressive.
The anger is corroding you from the inside out. You must develop hobbies and convert the negative into positive, in order to overcome it. That's how I survived in life, until I made some bad decisions and started self sabotaging, but that's a whole nother story. Just keep moving towards the positive.
Find your own identity so you can set yourself apart from the rest of the family, and then move on to do your own things. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, but it'll only keep getting worse to stay in it.
