I had a pretty weird interaction with a stranger the other day. I was pressed for time when I was gonna meet up with my girl friends at our favorite tea house. I was fast walking in flip flops on the side walk trying to get there, walking very fast and loud There was a guy and a girl walking together in the same direction in front of me about a less than a block away. They heard my flip flops and turned around and gave me a weird look. I'm kind of shy around strangers, and slowed down, making less noise with my flip flops. Then when they turned back around I started fast again. I got to be about 10 meters behind them, and then they turned around again, giving me the same look. I slowed down again because I didn't like the way they stared at me. Once they turned back around, I picked up speed. Then when I got up close to them, the guy turns to me and says in the gayiest sounding lisp voice ever: "*Gasp* You're scaring us!" I never thought of myself as very intimidating at all. But this gay guy and this chick who was with him sure thought I was scary. I stopped and just said "sorry" and continued on. I never thought I was very intimidating to anybody but I guess not.
I'm a fast walker. Also, I'm short. So, when someone notices that I'm behind them, they sometimes get scared. I know they don't get scared because I have facial deformities. Though, some kids have gotten scared of that. But, adults don't get scared of my face. So, it's not that. It's because they actually DID NOT notice I was alive, until they saw something very tiny walking super fast in the corner of their eye. I can see how that can be scary. It's annoying getting "that look". Or the snickering comments when I pass them. But, my argument is that they're walking way too slow and taking up the whole sidewalk. Again I can see how them not noticing me until I'm super close to them, walking really fast towards them... can be scary. It's like, woah, where did you come from? It's almost like I popped out of nowhere. But, again my argument is... I didn't pop out of nowhere. I was behind them for the past several minutes. It's not my fault they didn't notice until now. But, I still get it. Also, I think the sound of flip flops, as well as the look of them are annoying to many people. So, I can see that adding to the situation. This situation is an example of the many situations where people get upset with each other, but no one is doing or saying anything particularly wrong. It's just people are stepping on each other's toes, in a way. I'm a fast walker. You're not. I'm quiet. You're not. I'm short. You're tall. We come in many forms, and because of that sometimes it's hard for all of us to coexist with each other. But, that doesn't mean we can't learn to.
Simply because someone who is easily frightened or offended gets frightened or offended is not cause to think that you've done something wrong
They felt like they were being followed as you were changing pace based on their actions. An unfounded fear, obviously, but hey.
it may have has something to do with WHY you were wearing flip-flops, wherever it was this took place. having no idea what you look like, or how you appeared to them, may have had something to do with it too. when i was little, i had some bad experiences in school that resulted from people (my own age) thinking i was following them, and ever since then i've tried very hard myself, to avoid ever appearing like i might be doing so. (i also happen to have an unfortunately high pitched sounding voice which neither goes with my self image, nor how i appear to others)
Beachball lady, That's sad you had hear that nonsense from them. After turning around the first time and looking at you, they shouldn't have been "scared" after that, because at that point, they obviously know where the noise is coming from and that its you. You didn't do anything wrong. Shoulda hit that sissy in the mouth!!!
Well believe me, I'm not very scary looking. I spent hours doing my hair and nails before heading out that day. I'm only 5'4 and the dude was a whole head taller than me. In a way he was a negative gay stereotype. One of my guy friends is gay and he's not nearly that big of a pansy.
Well, if I could replay the event over again, (and especially if I was a dude), I wish I would've said in an even sassier gay voice "Oh, Well you're scaring me!" right back at him
Honestly, I think that if you were a man, sassy guy wouldn't have said a word. Man, what has the world come to???
