Have you ever had your sexuality used against you. Unfortunately I have. I came out to someone who I thought was a friend and confidant, who turned around and conspired with someone who I never met to ruin my life. I had to leave a well paying job to avoid having my personal life exposed to all. The sad part is about a year later this person apologized. It was appreciated but a little too late.
that must've taken some heavy lifting to get over that. My brother-in-law found some posts online I'd made in what I thought was a private forum similar to this. He threatened to expose my activities to my wife, and I assumed by his attitude he was not looking out for his sister's best interests in the process... just a homophobe (and possibly a closet homo himself). I had to tell my wife, in my way, to circumvent his deed. It was hard. Incidentally, I am totally out now - and my brother-in-law has not had contact with his sister since then - almost 7 years ago.
i actually ran into my brother in law ( wife's sister's husband ) at a gay bath house .. both shocked to see each other .. nothing ever happened between us .. he passed away a year or so ago and rumor had it he had a gay lover
Wow! I forget if your wife knows or not about your bi side & activities? Did either of you watch each other have sex with other guys? Did you talk at the bathhouse? Did your wife ever suspect her brother was bi? What was it like the next time you were alone with him? There's so much more to this story! I went to a hotel party one time only in my life. The first guy I ever sucked. Years later met the BIL of my wife's best friend - and I swear it was him! We never said a word! One workplace, they made an animated cartoon saying I was gay, because I didn't have a girlfriend. Despite having lunch with an openly gay coworker in our group, I didn't feel comfortable sharing I was bi with them. At a second workplace they thought I was bi, even though I never said a thing, never had a picture in any ads, never used the wi-fi, always my cell data. One of the shop guys was drunk at Xmas party and pinched my nipples! I gave him a stare down to back off. The other shop guy "accusing me" of being bi, died in an accident on a trip somewhere. I didn't have to deal with his harassment anymore. Had to pretend to be sad he passed away.
Firstly my wife does not know of my bi side .. we have been married for 32 years and I've been playing with guys for past 46 years .. i am truly bi and very versatile. I was in the spa when he walked down the stairs and he went into the sauna .. he hadn't seen me at that point. After a while i got over the surprise / shock and went into the spa .. and typically as you enter all eyes check out who is walking in .. his face was saying it all .. totally shocked , surprised and then he was checking me out and a smile seemed to come upon his face .. it was no towel Tuesday so i sat down beside him .. i opened the conversation with .. never thought id see you in here and he replied the same .. we chatted some further mostly about this not getting back to our wives .. he was not my wife's brother , but my wife's sisters husband .. we had married the sisters... i patted him on the upper part of his leg touching his cock .. leaned in and said our secret is safe with me .. and walked out the spa and then left the bathhouse. My brother in law was an angry man towards his wife .. was very overweight .. and I certainly had no interest to pursue any sexual activity with him .. he was not a nice man. We never spoke of it at family get togethers although they did seem to make more of an effort to spend time with us
I’m so deep in the closet no one knows of my bisexuality. There wont be an opportunity for someone to let that cat out of the bag. It’s just too risky to divulge it to anyone.
Read a post on another site, where the guy dozed off in front of his computer, and had up a photo of his friend fucking him in the ass! She walked in on him snoozing, saw the photo, asked what the hell is this?! He told her,she divorced him It's like the old comedy but about going to great lengths to hide your porn stash, then leaving it in the damn vcr/ DVD player!
When I first began exploring having oral sex with other men in my first marriage I was involved for a while with a gay man who had at the time the sexiest cock, I've ever had the opportunity to suck on. I'd visit with him 2-3 times a week at his apartment after work to suck on his cock for at least an hour every time I was with him. He knew I was married and had a thing for married men sucking on his cock. He was my first and that really turned him on as he provided instructions on how to better my cock sucking skills. I really enjoyed spending time with him then one evening everything changed for the worse. He wanted me to leave my wife and children to build a relationship with him. I was dead set against it, no way I said. I love my wife and am just wanting to suck cock, not leave her or change my present lifestyle. He got upset and said he would tell her what I had been doing with him for the past two months. He then stated my home address which I'd never provided to him willingly. I got very concerned and worried. He then said he had videos to prove it taken without my knowledge. OMG, I said to myself...what have I done? I left and for the next several weeks I was on pins and needles not knowing what this guy was really capable of. In the end nothing happened, and I never again was involved with a gay man. I kept my desires for sucking cock strictly to other married men who also enjoyed sucking cock on the "downlow" behind our wives' backs.
I've had people try it. I've told them, "Go ahead and run your mouth - and see if I give a fuck." One woman who found out threatened to tell my mother and I said, "Come on - I know she's home right now so let's go so you can tell her but it'll be a waste of time because she already knows." A guy who was trying to steal my wife away from me found out that I suck dick and threatened to tell her and I said, "Go ahead and tell her... but she already knows that I suck dick so you'll need a new plan to get her away from me..." One of the lessons my mother taught me and my siblings was that you never give someone a stick to beat you with; the reality is that somewhere along the line, someone's going to discover your secret and they just might be petty enough to want to use it as a stick to beat you with and, at best, it's something you should have a "plan" in place to deal with this possibility. I refuse to live a life in fear - but I can be the last person you want to fuck with about this; mind your business and with some folks, uh-huh: I know where your bodies are buried so let's get everyone's dirt out in the open, shall we - and let's see which one of us lands on our feet and keeps going... and that will be me. This is one of those fucked up situations where you really find out who your real friends are...
There are of course who will try to exploit your sexuality-and possibly-use it against you-in a sense that you feel as though you are being "held hostage"; ALL of us (regardless of orientation) are in pocession of a "skeleton or two" in our closets-NONE of us are saints not by a long shot; The trick is to know who you are dealing with (are they trustworthy?)----sadly-there are those-of course-who indeed pocess their OWN "skeletons"-but-by pointing the finger at another-takes "the heat" away-regarding their own hidden "agendas"; TRUE friends are those who will ALWAYS rally to your side-----REGARDLESS of the situation-------those who you could depend on in the darkest of days----------
Can't hold me hostage like that because (1) I have nothing to hide and (2) I have nothing to be ashamed of being bisexual. That's like bullies who'd say that if I didn't suck their dick, they'd tell everybody that I was a faggot and I'd say, "Tell them - and I'll tell them that you wanted me to blow you so which one of us is really a faggot?" And they'd go away... with their dick un-sucked.
Well said; often a "bully" is one who feels the need to harass others in order to hide a personal flaw within that they do not wish anyone to know about; this then is the warped way that they keep their inner deficencies out of sight-and appearing to be the one who is to be feared-----what person has nothing to hide; nothing they do not want others to find out about? Stand your ground with your "shield of truth" and offer no apologies for what you are-or aren't-----------
Yes my first wife used that against me as justification for her running off and ending up with someone else. I had merely mentioned I pulled off with a guy when we were 16, and I admired cocks after that and thought it would be cool to do that again. She was horrified and the next thing I knew, friends were assuming I was a closet gay guy. I never acted on any feelings until driven to play around when I was late 40's and had no sex for four-plus years. A psychologist told me to get a bit on the side. I told the wife and that wasn't going to work, so I found an old cock sucker
I remember a girlfriend who found out that I sucked dick and she told me that if I wanted to keep being with her, I had to stop doing that - or she was going to tell my mother. I literally laughed for a whole ten minutes until I cried and pulled a couple of muscles and, man, was she pissed that I was laughing and couldn't stop! But when I finally did stop laughing, I told her that (1) I wasn't going to stop doing that because it was a part of who I am as a person and I didn't care how good her pussy was - she wasn't going to change me and (2) here's the phone; I'll dial the number and I'm sure my mom is home so you can tell her that I have sex with men... because she already knows that so go ahead and tell her. And my mom knew it because she caught me having sex with a guy so, yeah, there's that. I would see others - both gays and bisexuals alike - have this threat held over their head and, sadly, carried out in too many cases and their lives got destroyed and all because we believe in some shit about sex that isn't the whole truth of things; the way it's supposed to be isn't the only way it can be - and homosexuals proved that and bisexuals, well, we just upped the ante by being nice and greedy. You wanna try to use my sexuality against me? Go ahead and give it a shot but you gotta know that better people than you have tried it... and they failed. And... it changed nothing because I'm still very damned bisexual. We can be so immature about this and it's just so sad and doesn't speak well about us or our society...
Whether you're pro or anti this is the type of thing that if leaked out destroys relationships, marriages, careers and lives. Reality is harsh but the majority out here does not look kindly upon attractions between same sex individuals. There are a couple of 1,000 years to push against. Being low key is the way to go. I love my current set up, I'm not on the move to see how many guys I can have sex with nor how adventurous I can be.
