Your problems mean nothing...

...compared to much of the pain and suffering that goes on in this world. This is why it's selfish to constantly feel sorry for oneself. Everyone feels down sometimes, but I think it's selfish for one to dwell on their own problems and pain when there will always be people who are suffering much worse.

I think about what's going on in Indonesia, Thailand, India and every place else that was devestated by the tsunamis. I don't feel bad for the dead as much as those who were left behind. They're now saying that some 20,000 (probably many more) children could be orphaned as a result of this catastrophe. Imagine being 8 or 9 years old and losing both your parents, having no place to turn in the midst of such chaos and death. I cannot fathom how some of these poor people must feel.

I think incidents like this help some of us to realize how good we really do have it. I don't think people realize how good they have it until they lose it all. But unfortunately, the sadness that many people feel will always be their own, and only their own.

 

When you're depressed, hearing really bad news makes you feel worse at times. Yeah you may be lucky in one sense but in another you might be trying to fight demonds and hardships that might seem small to others but are crippling to you. Take for example, a person with clinicle depression. Say that person had to stop working and now they have no income. Most people would tell the person to back to work ot say the person was just being lazy. You have to judge the whole person and not just the part that you can realate to in your life. It's not that easy to put the moccasins of your brother completely on your feet.

 

I agree with everything you said. I am guilty sometimes not being able to see past my nose. Most of the time my world revolves around the walls that I live in. Then I listen to the news and I see all the pain and suffering on TV.

I have everything I need and then some and here there are people who have nothing. I do donate a lot to churches and homeless shelters. I make sure the people who will be receiving what I donate get it for free. Some places charge.

I have a great amount of sympathy for people who have suffered situations like in Asia. I have a hard time feeling sorry for the people who bring on their pain and suffering over and over again. Eventually that sympathy wears out.

 

It's not so much that people bring out their suffering as it is intolerence. When a disaster happens and people die then people can relate to it and they feel something. If you meet a person and you think you know them then you don't look for the disaster you just look for the situation and how you'd handle it. You might have pains and problems that seem trivial and meaningless to me but they could be crippling and agonizing to you. How would I know? That's why one can't judge by his or her life. You might have supporting loving people and the other person has to rely on themselves for comfort. You might be fiercly independent because you had no one to help ypu throw things so when you hear that a person lost a helpful friend it won't mean the same to you because you are use to having nothing. I guess you have to try to understand people with your heart and mind and not just judge on your ways. It's easy to miss the reflextion of a person's real character if you are trying to find it in your mirror.

 

I'm not even sure if anyone can imagine the horror thats going on in Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Thailand and surrounding areas right now unless you're living it. About 8 years ago I got pissed because we had a bad rainstorm & the basement + garage flooded, and I was devastated. My tools were under water, my motors & electronics & parts to repair things were all lost...

and right now I'm angry at myself for being so selfish that I worried about meaningless crap like that when folks are trying to identify or be in the place that their friends or family members bodies will be buried in mass graves or burned to avoid disease that could kill/infect the remainder of the population.

I have no means right now to be nothing less then helpless. I wish I had more to give.

 

i completely agree with what Pressed_Rat says. I am too guilty of self-pity and being so fricking selfish. I have heard about this tragedy in indonesia but there's so little we could do it's kinda frustrating for me to see the news and the suffering...and yet I am not able to do anything...it really feels like one should value life much more, as well as our family and friends...sometimes I feel like I dont pay enough attention to these and just stay locked up in my bubble...

i feel helpless, we're so little...so fragile. life is so precious.

 

bellfire, I understand what you're saying 100%. But The way I see it, unless you have a REAL chemical/hormonal reason for having little issues become "crippling and agonizing" I don't see that there is any reason to assume that you (not you specifically, just the general "you"s out there) are somehow suffering more than someone else is.....especially when problems you might have are things that CAN be fixed, or things you cause yourself.

I've got to admit, I sulk alot. And I feel sorry for myself quite a bit. but i'm never selfish about it, I don't go around thinking that my problems are somehow worse than anything anyone else has been through, and I always remember to count my blessings, even if they are few and far between. I know people who don't like to hear about other people's problems, or the evils going on in the world because they are too caught up in their own sad little world. I just think that if you are going to allow some issue, no matter how major or minor it might be, to "cripple" you and make you blind to everything else or not care to correct the problem, you deserve to be where you are. That might sound a little harsh, but I have a problem with people who constantly dwell on self pity.

 

I've got to admit, I sulk alot. And I feel sorry for myself quite a bit. but i'm never selfish about it, I don't go around thinking that my problems are somehow worse than anything anyone else has been through, and I always remember to count my blessings, even if they are few and far between. I know people who don't like to hear about other people's problems, or the evils going on in the world because they are too caught up in their own sad little world. I just think that if you are going to allow some issue, no matter how major or minor it might be, to "cripple" you and make you blind to everything else or not care to correct the problem, you deserve to be where you are. That might sound a little harsh, but I have a problem with people who constantly dwell on self pity.[/QUOTE]_____________
How do you know that a person doesn't have a real problem? The fact that he or she can laugh and joke doesn't mean there isn't a problem. People love to use the words get over it but I don't think they really take the time to see the problem just the time to tell you thery are sick of hearing about it. I can't make people understand how I feel or try to convience you to see things my way. There are things we agree on and things we don,t. (This just happens to be one of the things we don't.) I myself don't tell a lot of my personal problems on here. (Though I've told some.) I don't trust people alot. I feel that people are basicly sad and look forward to crushing your face in the dirt to make themselves happier. (I'm sorry but you got to adnit it's true.) When I go through stuff that's painful I don't share. (I don't want the pain of some insensitive person mking me feel worse or the humiliation of someone laughing at a problem that is so painful that it breaks my heart to let it out in the open.)
I understand the I don't want to hear it and selfish and all the other things people say when you are less then a crumb in thier life. I just want to let you know that if you are sad and you need someone to reach out to that i'm hear and I love you. I'm not perfect and I don't know everything but I want you to know that you have someone that cares.

 

The only thing worse than being too compassionate is being fucking preachy about it.

Jesus, Matt, what the hell happened to you? Your dog die or something?

 

Shit. Now I feel depressed AND guilty.

 

Fun fact: Instead of being mopey and shit, it's better to let this help you remember everything you have to be thankful for. So, you know, quit bitching.

 

Sorry, but unless you're wearing a turban and levitating, my pride prohibits me from accepting advise from you.

 

Don't cross the pet line or you'll have to deal with me.

Dime Arcade...chill.

GEO

 

The pain suffered by others does not invalidate your pain, regardless of if your pain is the result of far lesser traumas, that is no reason for others to dismiss it. Sure, whining is annoying, and many gripe about little things that have almost no tangible impact on their lives. Still, a kind word, and supportive act, is better than a derisive statement of contempt.

The victims of this disaster who have survived are lucky. Life is a gift, and there are always going to be people who have faced tragedy that is beyond anything I could hope to understand.
All of us need some support now and then.
This tsunami is a good reminder of how fragile and unpredictable our lives are.

 

See, I know that and I don't want to feel sorry for myself because I know I'm incredibly lucky. But then I still do feel sorry for myself and it just makes me hate myself even more because I realize how much of a selfish bitch I am. And then I realize that there isn't much point in trying because the world is so awful.

 

all I know is that the people I've met who've been through the most shit seem to be the ones with the biggest hearts and the most level heads.

I think everything has a price and everything has a payoff.

 

The people I have met who have suffered the most, have been the most loving people too.

 

Exactly. I haven't gone through anything really traumatic and I am an asshole.

 

I don't think you're really getting the point, as I understood it, of this post. Yeah, we all have problems. Life can be a real bitch sometimes. But the opportunity to sit back & feel sad about all the depressing things in your life is a luxury compared to what many people live thru in this world. The fact that you can take the day off to mope around, yet still know that there will be food on the table come dinnertime is a luxury. Hell, even for the homeless in America (and I speak from experience), life is not too bad -- if you know where the local salvation army is, you don't have to worry about starving to death.

Yeah, we all have problems. We all have pretty damn good reasons to sit around & complain about how hard we've had it. In the grand scheme of things, if you have clean water to drink, food, & a roof over your head, if you don't have to worry about whether you will have to watch your child die of starvation, you don't have to face rebuilding your life alone (because your home was destroyed & your family killed in a natural disaster), then your problems aren't that damn bad.

 

Don't hate yourself. Realize its a big world and you can't control natural disasters.

I always like to think of big events like this as a reminder that cash & status aren't the driving force.

Those dopey bastards we love are...be it fam or friends, thats it.