Your expectations

If you are somewhat over weight what are your expectations for a mate? Do you get disappointed or upset when a slimmer person pays no attention to you? Do you feel that the slimmer person should not let your weight be a barrier. Or have you come to the conclusion that since I am over weight I expect to wind up with a similarly over wight mate.

I ask this question because before I married my wife I dated a girl who was slim and attractive. I looked her up on FB years later and see that she is now over weight and continually complaining that guys have stopped coming after her like in the past. She can't seem to get a date based on her expectations.

 

Most of the time couples are matched in weight but not always. I see overweight guys with skinny chicks all the time and I see overweight women with skinny guys too. She needs to get out of this private Idaho that she is in.

 

private Idaho???? and were they matched in the beginning and then one gained weight is an unknown. I have seen very heavy men meet the girl of their dreams, thin and beautiful, when they won a lottery or were very wealthy. But thats a different story about gold diggers.

 

Opposites attract. Men respond to visual input. Women respond to verbal input. That's why men who carry more weight than needed have that trophy on their arm. Yes, women do like a well built man but they respond more to actions and not sight. Men see and pursue based on what we see. Most are attracted to that hot body instead of the fluffy one. Your before wife girlfriend is expecting men to react the same as when she was lighter on her feet. But there are men who don't need a woman to be thin and light. A little fluff can be fun but too much is like a heavily tatted body. It's just too much and a turn off.

I have a friend who is well under six foot tall and maybe 150. Maybe. His wife must be near six feet and 180 if not approaching 200. She is a large woman in all the right places. Absolutely beautiful. When you look at them together you wonder how, how could that be that they match up. But they are so much into each other that there is no doubt they are in total love. I have a woman I fuck occasionally who carries a little body weight but she is so much fun in the sack I don't mind the extra padding. In fact the cushion around her pussy keeps my groin from getting sore when we vigorously. So there are advantages to having fun with a woman who has some fluff but too much becomes an eyesore leading to disappointment and rejection.

 

Well... I am the "slimmer one".
I am not attracted so much to "skinny" women as a little cushy.
I have fucked them both, and fucking a bony/skinny girl is not that comfortable. Granted, the positioning is easier and kind of awesome... but not as good as fucking a women with a little "padding".
When I reach around and grab an ass while having sex, I want that ass to give. I want it to be very squeezable. A gal who is a little overweight also tend to have great tits.

 

I'd like to offer a different perspective on this interesting topic.

I agree with you considering the personas we find in Hip > Love and Sex. Participants in this forum have insatiably overdriven sex drives. Men who participate here will prioritize physical appearance attributes over any other variable. However outside of this forum, I'm sure you have friends who are teachers that hooked up so they can start a family and have the same vacations as their kids. Or a couple who met over their faith. Or a couple who started and run a fishing resort together. Or a couple who met in university as researchers and assistants who spend their life and developed a passion for their research. Or a husband and wife team who are philanthropists to their favorite cause. Or athletes who considers sport = life, and train together.

There are people outside of this forum who have essentially given their lives to other causes outside of love and sex. I feel those people will place a lower value to the physical attractiveness variable.

 

Great example with exceptions. My friend, a high level professional was seeing 2 girls when he was 24 years old. I knew them both. He asked his father which one he should marry because they were a very religious family. He knew he did not want his wife to ever work but just have kids and stay in the faith.

Well he chose the wrong one and admitted it to me. The one I chose, now years later is still drop dead beautiful. The one he married immediately became morbidly obese, had 2 kids and he hasn't had sex with her in decades. He refuses to divorce due to his faith. He goes to work at 6 A.M. and returns home after a restaurant dinner daily. So he arrives home at 9 PM.

His wife admits that she cannot cook, nor even boil water.

So there are exceptions.

 

There are but as a case in point, why is it the nerd has the hottie on his arm? Because he can fix her tablet when it locks up and her cell phone after she screws it up. She has a need beyond sex and he fills it.

 

Guys, I see your points. I just wanted to point out that there are always exceptions but we can't point at an exception and use it as an example of a norm. To use COVID example, there are cases where a perfectly healthy 20-something died of COVID. The media likes to blow it up and claim that COVID kills young people too. But in reality, it is extremely rare.

My point is that you can always find an example to support your claim. I took a philosophy course in first year and there is actually name for this type of reasoning. I forget the name but I remember this type of reason is called a [something something] fallacy.

JFF thanks again for posting this interesting topic. Man, your talking *ussy thread really cracked me up! I must have laughed for 10 minutes lol

 

Thanks Crazytrain then how come the pussies aren't talking? All I can hear are pussy farts but no comments. I guess they too have the right to remain silent. How do you get a pussy to tell its story. A man gotta know.

 

LOL isn't it obvious? That is because a lot of the female members here are guys. Never forget we're online. The nature of this technology allows you to have whatever persona you wish, no acting required. I'm still laughing at that thread!

Another thing I'd like to point out is that some people can't think more than 2 minutes ahead of where they are now. I'm addressing your original question of why your ex-gf can't seem to understand why no one is paying attention to her. I'm sure you can look around at your colleagues or even drivers on the road. Some people just can't see any farther than whatever is in front of them at the moment.

 

I guess you are right. I thought everybody was as smart as you and I and that the women were women here on HF. Maybe I should change my name to "cute butt" and tell everybody I am a shy 18 year old little girl. It might be fun. And you honestly think that the so called females here are guys? Shit!!!

You mean a fucking guy invited me to his home the next time I was in Puerto Rico?

 

haha is it OK that every time I see your user name I now think of a talking pussy haha!

JFF, think about it critically for a moment.

Think of the nature of this form of communication. Think of all 8B people in this world and all the different lifestyles people lead. Think of that 45 year old fat dude still living in his elderly mother's basement. No job, no friends, no nothing... how hard would it be for someone like that to be cute_butt88 here on Hip and build a believable persona around it? cute_butt88 could be all cutey-cute, all TEEHEEHEEE and shit, the other hard-up lonely guys on Hip would FLOCK to cute_butt88. The 45 year old lonely troll could get the online attention he can't get in real life because he's a f*cking loser. The separation of the computer screen keeps him safe. He feels brave because of this separation. That is why online bullying tends to be much more severe than in person bullies. When you bully someone in person, if it's a guy ... better be strong enough to defend yourself in a fight. But the screen protects online bullies and trolls. They feel brave.

Someone like that would have all the time in the world to build a detailed persona, it could be so detailed that we would never know. Some may even have multiple personas. So cute_but88 could also by DOMINATEMASTERDUDETUFFGUY or or something. They might even collect screenshots, photos to share, photos that you can't simply find using Google. In 2021, who know how far a troll can go with their false online persona.

Unlike an in-person real life persona, an online person would require no acting skills. And even if this person were discovered, they could just completely abandon their username and accounts. If they never log into it again, there is no damage done. As long as they stay within the confines of the law, no one would look into it more deeply. Who knows how far they would go?

A web server such as Hip would record IP addresses. Chances are they're using n Apache or Apache Tomcat web server, Linux based, free and open source, the most common web server in the world. My last count, I have 8 Tomcat servers running on my own (virtual) servers. By default, the .config file records IP addresses in a text file. But I assure you the sys admin has no idea where to find the text file where it is located. If they were to open it, it is a gigantic CSV file of data. I mean it is a wall of numbers, commas, periods. I bet they never deleted it and it'd probably like a 50MB text file right now. Ask me how I know this.

But the problem with identifying trolls using IP addressing is that most of us are using dynamic IP addresses. That means it changes. My IP address at home changes every few days, sometimes every few hours. And people log in from the phone, at work, coffee shops in addition to home. Who will piece together the giant puzzle to figure out the troll's home IP address? A programmer who is experienced in a speciality field called data mining could write a script (computer program) to mine the data in that text file that stores the IP addresses. The programmer could build a profile and detect a pattern in the troll's behavior. Using this pattern, they can make an educated guess which one is their IP address they use from home. Give me 3 hours and I can probably whip up a Python script with some pretty cool features that can do that. The troll's ISP would have a record of what IP address he was delegated at what dates. But to make a major ISP to release this information would require a subpoena (summons) or a court order. To get that, you would need to build a case as to why you need this information. A major, reputable ISP will closely guard this data. Even if you work for this major ISP, its not like Bob can call you and ask you to check up on an IP address as a favor. Anyways JFF, I could go on for a while here.

Now, for argument's sake, lets say you obtain the troll's home address based on their IP address. You knock on their door and find out that there are 16 devices connected to that IP address. Remember that the IP address you found is the IP address for the ENTIRE HOME. All devices, cell phones, tablets, TV's, notebooks, desktop computers use the SAME IP address. How are you going to identify the troll and his device? Are you going to get another court order to confiscate all devices? What if they hide their device? Are you going to rip apart their home to find it? Who in that home, or apartment building is the troll?Are you going to say "Hey, you look like a troll, come with me?" Are you ready for the defamation lawsuit that will follow?

I always get a kick out of people who use a VPN and think they are perfectly safe. If you understand how a VPN works, it's basically like thinking your anonymous if you use your buddy's phone. Or TV shows make it popular that you can buy a phone with cash and use it anonymously. However you do it, you leave a trail of breadcrumbs. You forget that the VPN server will likely have a record of you using their service. They can be served a subpoena as well. People involved in this type of shady behaviour will use a offshore VPN. Or if they're well financed, they'll set up their own personal VPN server in a different country. But of course that costs money and leaves a breadcrumbs of evidence. The bottom line is that it is very difficult to be perfectly invisible online. If someone really wants to find you, they can.

But if you're just on Hip because you're horny as fu*k and pretending to be a woman when you're actually a 45 year old dude living in your elderly mom's basement, no law enforcement office is going to care. I don't want to share how I have this information but I will say that I have significant experience in this field.

JFF, I really don't care. I believe female users on Hip are really female. Its like a Matrix thing. As long as they are believable enough then what do I really care if they are actually female or not? But I always keep that possibility in the back of my mind.

I'm not BS'ing. I'm a guy, horny as hell, ugly as f*ck, I can't believe my wife married me let alone f*cks me the way she does. G*d bless her kind soul.

 

Damn Crazy. That's quite a tirade. Trouble is you lost me at cute_butt88. Is she a redhead or blond? Sent a PM but haven't heard back. Sounds like she might be a pretty good fuck.

 

===============

Wow, you seem very sharp when it comes to computers and your view of perceived human behavior is interesting and most likely accurate. For many years now on social media sites (FB) I have been gender neutral and offered no personal photos. It is just safer and more comfortable.



As for HF all I see is words on the screen that create for me an interesting sense of fantasy discussed openly which is taboo else where. When it comes to actual truth there is not much I read here that falls into that category. I think people here depict their life experiences as they would like to live it but can’t. So they write about what they’d like to experience and tell us all about it like it is their life for us to envy.



This might sound strange but Plato’s “Theory of Forms” actually touches on this subject. He writes that all ideas begin in the mind where it is perfect. When that thought is transformed to the material world it looses the perfection of the original thought in many ways.



So, long story short, the fat 40 year old guy in his mothers basement who is living his erotic thoughts and ideas through his made up persona on HF is in a sense better off than the person actually acting it out in a live performance. The former grabs a tissue and closes his computer and the latter has to live with the consequences of his relationship. And most end up in divorce and its horrible debris.



I am not saying one is better than the other but Plato makes a lot of sense. The human mind in some people is rarely satisfied. Have a million want ten million. Have a cute sex partners, want a threesome. Have a cool car, want another. Have a nice home, want a vacation home also. It is endless want for more unachievable satisfaction.



To cut this short take into consideration the Guru who sits in his mountain cave meditating for days at a time. He has nothing and he will tell you that life could not be better. He clams his spiritual orgasms are more satisfying than human on human. This is an area that most people never explore.

 

You've basically just explained Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It is an idea in psychology proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper "A theory of Human Motivation". There is little scientific basis to the ideas but follow the structure but compare it to people's goals where you will see similarities.

 

LOL cute_but88 can have any hair color and body she wants here on Hip. Heck better to to add a few flaws to that perfect body to make it more believable.

In fact, the fat woman JFF is referring to could have a fake online persona to gain attraction from the men she desires.

Barry, if you're interested there are hundreds of academic papers that covers online behavior and psychology. I ran across a few in my post graduate studies however it didn't really interest me much at the time. Here are just a few I found:

Evolutionary cyber-psychology: Applying an evolutionary framework to Internet behavior

False Online Personas: Who Creates Them and Why?

‘The presentation of self in the online world’: Goffman and the study of online identities

Online Deception: Prevalence, Motivation, and Emotion

Constructing the Self Online

Social Media-based Self-Expression: Narcissistic Performance, Public Adoration, and the Commodification of Reified Persona

To mess with your mind even more. Did you know that there are professional social media posters out there who have constructed an online persona that companies can hire to either promote their product and / or slander their competition? This I know exists. My organization isn't sales based so I do not require these services. By my business colleagues have used this service before. It is shady practice, but not illegal. So a company that is a new start up selling this new cookware set may hire a professional social media person with a fake persona to go around and promote their product on social media. Now, you wouldn't believe a person whose first post on a forum is promoting a product. But if a person has been active on a forum for 5 years, has ~100 or so posts and responds to someone else's post by promoting this product, how would you know its actually an advertisement from a person with a fake online persona?

If we're engaging in this form of online behavior, better be aware of what people are capable of doing.

Stay safe everyone.

 

Barry Mandealy and Crazytrain341 I love the fact that there are people in HF whose brains go deeper than their dick. You guys are a breath of fresh air to me. That is if you are guys. I mean you know how girls lie all the time in this forum. hahahahah

 

I was thinking about what you wrote. It’s interesting what you said about the posts on Hip > Love and Sex creates a sense of fantasy in one’s mind. I’d like to expand on that very interesting thought to say that it is a sense of fantasy in both the mind of the reader and the person posting the message and describing the sexual experience. More on this in a sec.

I’d also like to respond to another very interesting thought where you mentioned Plato’s suggestion that what the mind conjures up is perfect. However there is a dissonance between how the sex experience turns out in real life and how one imagined it in their mind. This is because real life experiences involve physical action and the emotions / limits of a partner where the mind is free to dream up whatever sex one wishes.

But on Hip, sexual experiences both perceived and real do not actually require physical action in the same manner as a real life sexual experience. They are also not quite imaginary. Sharing a sex experience on Hip only requires imagination of both the person posting the scenario and the person reading it. So in that sense, how is Hip Forums > Love and Sex so different than the stories you can find on Literotica? People get off on erotic literature that’s fiction. So I argue what does it matter if someone is here on a fake persona posting fake experiences or otherwise embellishing real ones to sound better? As long as I think it’s real what does it matter?

This conversation reminds me of the scene in the movie Matrix where Cipher makes a deal with Agent Smith to betray Morpheus.



Cipher is in the matrix making a deal with Agent Smith. The matrix is basically an entire fake world to make humans believe it is real. Cipher knows the steak he is eating isn’t real. But he recognizes that as long as he thinks it’s real wholly and truly then why would it matter? Cipher then goes on to say that if he is going to be re-inserted into the Matrix, may as well make him someone rich, or famous. It’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s an example of a fake online persona we’ve been discussing.

I can relate this line of thinking with what I read on Hip Forums. I’m strictly monogamous. I’ve had very few sexual partners (ie: just one other than my current wife). I absolutely love reading about everyone else’s multiple partners, cuck, fwb’s, wife sharing stories. I really don’t care if they’re real or not. I don’t see the difference between reading a fictional story from Litertica and someone’s description of a hot sex experience on Hip. At least on Hip, there is a chance it may be real and not just a writer’s imagination. That’s hot!

JFF you hit on a lot of interesting points. You also mentioned that the person with a false persona on Hip > Love and Sex or posting fake sex scenarios or embellished information may actually be experiencing a sexual high that is better than the real thing (U2 song - “Even Better than the Real Thing”). I think what you are saying is that it may be better for the sexual experience to remain a fantasy rather than having that sexual fantasy ruined by a less than spectacular real life experience. I can relate with this idea because some of the sex ideas I tried to do with my wife turned out to be a dismal failure. My latest failure is trying to use a vibrator on her. She flat out refuses anything inside of her that isn’t my fingers, tongue or shaft. I don’t understand this, but it’s her body. That negative real life experience kind of puts a rain on my fantasy of stuffing her with a vibrator. So in that sense, for me, the fantasy was even better than the real thing.

If I’m correct in understanding your point of view I’d like to add something to your original thought. If someone is posting under a false persona, sharing false sex experiences or embellished ones, we affirm his or her fantasy by responding to the message or adding a like to it. In other words, when we respond or add a “like” a false sex scenario (not knowing it’s false), we help the original poster to live out his/her fantasy in their head when they feel that someone bought what they are trying to sell. We’ve just raised it up a level by affirming it. And for a user on Hip claiming to be female, they only need to say how much they love sucking d*ck, or enjoy f*cking complete strangers to solicit the affirmation of the hard-up male users on Hip. Personally, I see nothing wrong in doing this.

I’m enjoying this casual banter with you JFF. Most of the topics here are along the lines of “have you tasted your own cum,” or “do you like your pussy slapped.” Of course, that is exactly why I’m here, to read those posts. But I do enjoy exchanging thoughts on this interesting topic. I look forward to your response if you are kind enough to provide one.

If I can dirty up this conversation for just a moment haha … I hope you don’t mind me admitting that I dropped a load last night to that rearview pic of your wife’s ass. I hope you consider this admission a complement to your woman. I intend no disrespect. In fact, I’ve been searching for a onesie bodysuit with a crotch button for my wife. They are actually called “Rompers.” I just measured her tonight and ordered a black one with a collar. I cannot wait to unbutton that crotch with my teeth!

This is what I got for her ... really love the collar.

 

I am glad you came with my wife's ass in mind. I will happily tell her.

Now you have hit my favorite state of mind so stand by to go deeper or turn away. Few enter this dimension.

The last statement in the video, “to deny our very impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human.” Now we are getting into Eastern Wisdom a subject that has been in my consciousness for decades.

Western cultures is very different that Eastern cultural wisdom. It is the sense of consciousness sometimes referred to as the 6th sense. Western culture enforces a constant pursuit for an unreachable happiness, something we have been taught from birth. “Tomorrow is your birthday you will be so happy.” Subliminally, statements like this puts the child in a slowly growing default state of continuous unhappiness.

As an adult he discovers HF because he might find a post or comment that stimulates a quickening in his loins. Now his body and mind are satisfied and happy for a moment. As we mentioned before we always need more. What we have is never enough.

You are placed in a 5 ft by 5 ft cubical you will be unhappy. Graduate to a 10 by 10 and you will be ecstatic for a day. Place you now in a warehouse and you will feel liberated for a week but then you want more. Progress to a town, then a city, then a state, a continent. Why not the universe? This is one reason why rock stars drug themselves to death. They have so much money and can buy anything and go anywhere and have sex with anyone but its not enough. They are trying to get to another dimension thru drugs

Very few venture into this longing for the Universe. This is where Eastern wisdom enters the picture. In western culture people live in a “snow dome” a sealed container where what’s beyond can only be imagined or prayed to for presumed miracles. A disconnected God that is praised, hated, requested, written about, discussed, fought over, killed for, etc. whatever mood you happen to be in or how you have been raised. The point being is that that dimension is unreachable in western culture.

In Eastern wisdom, India for example there is “Chitta.” When one enters this dimension of information input outside the “snow dome” there is silence where all mind chatter ceases and perfect satisfaction streams into the human psyche. This is where the pursuit of happiness stops because that void becomes fulfilled. This is the state of bliss. This is the meditative state where in lies the perfect never ending orgasm. Something that HF can never produce.

This male female intercourse revealed in meditation is not human on human it is manifest and non-manifest. This is the state where we are in perfect bliss where we very easily “deny our very impulses which is to deny the very thing that makes us human.”

Now we experience life from an entirely different nonhuman eternal dimension, it has always been there but our culture has implemented detours due to fulfilling ones self with things outside which are fleeting.

=========

I just read the rest of your post under the video. Yes, from my point of view, understanding that video, the easiest way I can explain myself is this. My body is an accumulation of food I have ingested and excreted over the years, it is not me. My mind is an accumulation of knowledge I have accumulated over the years, it is not me.

My mantra is, “I am not the body, I am not even the mind.”

I consider my mind and body as my tools during my stay on this planet. Most people consider their mind and body as them which always pursues more. I use my body and mind to achieve what needs to be achieved. I then place it on the shelf and my mind stage is then empty of all thought (meditative state.)

Most people have continuous chatter in their minds that they cannot stop. They take pills, during booze anything to quiet the chatter for a moment. Or they will engage in sexual discussions to distract them from themselves.

I know the body and mind enjoy human sex so i allow that for him. He (I) fucks his brains out and experiences any and all that he enjoys regardless of sexual preference. This is a comprehending of a human being which is IMO a dream state where nothing is real. The real was before the birth and is in my director state and will continue to the next adventure after my body goes back to topsoil.

The matrix IMO was a pretty perfect movie depicting Eastern wisdom. Everything begins and ends and ends in the mind. I better stop here until you ask for more.