Young pussy

let's bump it to page two.

that was epic.

 

^Thanks for reading and liking my work Imaginary Being.

And what would you know about creativity ? Mine is boundless and I have an organic tap root sucking out unlimited creations. You only wish.

 

Bullshit you're not even a half decient troll.

 

^lol this guy here. you are worthless. Go check out my other threads. esp my word plays and see who's a troll then. and who is creative and who is not.

 

My creativity is a labyrinthian clusterfuck of rambunctious nonsense

 

^cool story

 

A chilling parody to the frailty of the human condition.

 

Chilling?

 

i think some of the rhymes sound forced. I think if you took out the rhyme scheme altogether it would actually improve it.

I know you don't really want to hear this, but you did put it up for critique I assume so...I can't really help but agree with Sam. It does seem like you are appealing to the lowest common demoninator. You know how there is a difference between porn and artistic nudes? Well..I believe the same applies to written word. It isn't even the subject matter so much as the fact that the poem, or verse or whatever it is, just smacks you over the head with overt sexuality. Without the age factor this could go in Hustler. The fact that you bring pedaphillia into it doesn't elevate it from Hustler to art, it lowers it to something else that is neither enjoyable to read nor disturbing in a way that makes the reader stop and think. its just disturbing, and I think subsequent thought should always be the goal when writing something to disturb.

 

I find the cartoon to be sexy.

 

People need to be able to separate fiction from reality.

How many people have sexual fantasies that they'd never act upon? How many people have laughed at something that they'd normally deem as morally wrong if it were not in a comedic context?

RambleON isn't saying he went out and fucked a 13 year old. He simply wrote a fictitious poem about it. There's a big difference.

Next time you laugh at someone getting hurt, think a sexual thought you know is wrong, or laugh at a racist joke, chastise yourself for being morally wrong.

 

He didn't say he didn't either, did he? Though, I would not want to make it my business whether he did or not.

 

He didn't say either way. But some have responded to the poem as though it was his own personal account of last Friday night.

 

I mean, that's to be expected...I'm sure he expected it too. I find it to be a provocative poem, but of course I don't moralize because...well, I'm just plain evil. :devil:

j/k

 

No, you're a rational human being.

 

There's much to me that's irrational. For one thing, I wouldn't mind cockslapping the bitch he...I'm not saying whether poetically or journalistically. It's to throw people off. :sunny:

 

Thank you for reading and taking the time to offer me some feedback. Yes, I wanted the flow to come forced and bumpy, with some hiccups. Read my other works or wordplay's and you will soon realize I'm the oracle of rhyme. Needless to say, I can make Niagara Falls of my writings, with the choice and power to stem the flow to bend to my smallest needs-as I did with this poem

And did you take note of the deft handling I gave the character ? I treated him as such and supported a side in which the reader would not relate or, more importantly, like him. The flow helped.

You call it the lowest common denominator because you simply have an opinion. And those are like assholes, in that they stink and everybody has one. You simply are not on a level high enough to actually make me consider what you said with any respect. Until you reach me, then we can talk.

To stop and think about a writing is one goal, of which I did not apply here. But to come across and imply that writing has to reach this standard every time tells me you are ignorant to the written process.

In short, this piece is just what it is. It does not claim to be anything more or less. If I wanted you to think, believe me, I would have.


Thanks for your input and thoughts though.

Peace.

Thank you for your open mind and being mature.

Me too! OMG it's so fucking hot!

Thanks for reading. I have not seen you around for awhile and I was pleasantly suprised to see you in one of my writing threads! Hi.

 

I think it is probably counterproductive to your overall popularity as a writer to chastise the critics that you yourself invite. It could be perceived as a violation of trust.

 

Thanks thedope ;p

I just feel cornered here because of the subject matter. You're right.

 

That struck a nerve with me.

On the bold note... really? Wow you have some talent in writing, and you think you are above people.. because you can write words in a certain way.

That is truly fucking sad man, why don't you skip working on being more creative as someone else suggested, and try to cultivate reality.