No no no, dear. Men don't enslave women. Come, you can be my bitch. I take in all bitchless men--I even run a safehouse for them.
What? You mean like the time you made me soak in the bathtub with icewater in it? No thank you. Don't you remember I caught pneumonia?
No, I mean that time that we went to the graveyard, and pretended that I dug you up from the grave...
Oh god, that was horrible. Don't you remember?! You were drunk and completely forgot I was there, and I waited for three hours in the cold night until that hot grave-digger came and found me.