You know you're an alcoholic when..?

I have a few that relate to my life lol...

When you walk into the bar and order a glass of wine, draft beer, shot of whiskey, after leaving the liquor store where you bought a cheap bottle of vodka, and for the next few hours your referring to time spent at particular bar "pregameing."

When the liquor store owner finally asks you your name, than comes back from their "lost and found" with 3 drivers licenses and 2 debit cards with your name on them, along with a 10$ starbucks gift card.

You know your friends with alcoholics too when you buy a fifth of vodka drive 15 minutes down the road to a baseball game and realize its empty.

When people ask what you want to get for the "chaser" and all your thinking is........ -_-.... I chase women not shots

 

When you wake up 2 hours after a drinking session and consider it all one session as you open up another bottle.......you really know if you do the same thing aftet a 7 hour 'nap'

 

When you piss your bed because you are knocked out and don't make it to the bathroom (never done this but my mother in law has, literally every time. Her bed would go up in flames if you lit a lighter near it because her piss was all vodka)

 

When you know more about beer than the guy who owns the local mom and pop beer store.

 

you get kicked off your neighbor's boat for being an ass, you get in your dinghy, and the tide is so strong you can't row and you get pulled to AA by the Bay.
this literally happened last night; my neighbor was being very drunk and aggressive so i asked him to leave... he tried to row to his boat but was too drunk. he ended up getting pulled to where there happens to be an AA meeting every week on shore.
he went, told his story, and plans on attending more often!
you know you're an alcoholic when the ocean drags you to AA....

 

when you deny being an alcoholic while drinking alone with a buzz on a workday morning

 

You just know

 

You just know

 

You remember the days of The week by what you were drinking.

 

they never seem to know...

 

when you wake up in jail with your hands all busted up like you beat someone to death, and you cant remember whaqt happened!

 

When you wake up, drink from a dead beer, spit the cigarette out and take another drink.

 

When you have a six pack and dont get a buzz

 

The cashier specially thanks you for his tax break.

 

When you argue over wether dark or clear spirits give you a bigger hangover.