Would You Want to Know?

tricknologist · Jul 24, 2011

MikeE said:

Should you tell him?
Well, the first thing you should know is that part of what he will hear is "I want to have sex with you". Even if you don't say it, he will hear it.
If he responds with "That's a good idea, how about tomorrow afternoon?", what are you going to say?
If your answer is "No, you misunderstood, no sex", then why tell him at all?

What will he do with the information "I love you".
OK, you love him. So what? What is he to do with that information?

Get a fake ID so the two of you can conduct a discrete affair, leaving no trace at the motel check-in?
Get a divorce/stop dating, so that the two of you can build a life together after your divorce is finalized?

If your statement to him is "I love you, but I'm not leaving my husband or having an affair with you." What is he to do with that?

Unless telling him that you love him is part of a seduction attempt on your part, all telling him will do is burden him with useless information.
"I love you, therefore love me back and pine." ????

It sounds like the declaration of your love would be more for YOUR benefit than for the benefit of either your husband or your beloved.
Click to expand...

This pretty much nailed it.

And there's also the possibility that your husband's friend will tell him about it. And if he does, they'll both be assuming that you were trying to screw him.

royallyscrewed · Jul 25, 2011

MikeE said:

Should you tell him?
Well, the first thing you should know is that part of what he will hear is "I want to have sex with you". Even if you don't say it, he will hear it.
If he responds with "That's a good idea, how about tomorrow afternoon?", what are you going to say?
If your answer is "No, you misunderstood, no sex", then why tell him at all?

What will he do with the information "I love you".
OK, you love him. So what? What is he to do with that information?

Get a fake ID so the two of you can conduct a discrete affair, leaving no trace at the motel check-in?
Get a divorce/stop dating, so that the two of you can build a life together after your divorce is finalized?

If your statement to him is "I love you, but I'm not leaving my husband or having an affair with you." What is he to do with that?

Unless telling him that you love him is part of a seduction attempt on your part, all telling him will do is burden him with useless information.
"I love you, therefore love me back and pine." ????

It sounds like the declaration of your love would be more for YOUR benefit than for the benefit of either your husband or your beloved.
Click to expand...

Pretty much nailed it for me too. You're right-it would be for my release, not his, and it would do no good to have that information out there.
But I have my weaker moments when I consider it, which is why I asked here. Thanks everyone for your responses.

desireu2 · Jul 25, 2011

far too much lack of love in this world so expression is good, very good even if you don't have that same "feel" you will respect that person as someone close to you as a possible deep close friend which are damn hard to find.

MikeE · Jul 25, 2011

desireu2 said:

far too much lack of love in this world so expression is good, very good even if you don't have that same "feel" you will respect that person as someone close to you as a possible deep close friend which are damn hard to find.
Click to expand...

Expressing love is very good.

Love is expressed by actions more than words. Choosing one's words carefully (or omitting them all together) is one action that can express love.

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Would You Want to Know?

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