Would you reveal secrets of an organization that you belong to?

Cheap Shot, Even By Your Standards...



Cheers Glen.

 

In other words you have to do what is against your knowledge. If you rely solely on your knowledge then you will never know what should be done.

 

if it was 20 years ago and is no big deal, why the hell would your wife want to know? dosnt she have more important questions to ask? like do those pants make her look fat?

 

Depends if you like the group...

And if there are penalties for giving them away...

And of course if there is any good REASON to give them away.

 

Make something up. Show her.

She will be satisfied, and you haven't betrayed your oath.

LOL

 

If I gave my word, I probably would not break it. The only exception might be if it would save a life or something like that.

I also think that couples do not need to share and know everything about each other, especially if it was before you were a couple. Privacy also matters in a relationship and trust and respect need too also.

 

What kind of secrets does a college frat have anyway? That time you stole the keg from another frat? Oh, and the circle jerks I guess.

 

I think I understand. It's difficult for people like me to act without analyzing things to death though.

 

You're right, it really is no big deal as far as anyone getting hurt.

I don't think she really wants to know, it's just the fact that I'm not telling her that is bothering her. To her I think it comes down to my stupid little club being more important than her. Or maybe she feels that, to me, our relationship is not as important as the club's secrets. She hasn't said anything like that, but that's some of what I come up with, trying to see it from her side.

I wish she did ask questions like "do these pants make me look fat?", I already know the right thing to do there.

 

To me, the group is not important, it's the oath. I know this sounds like I'm being dramatic, but the dilemma is not that troubling - it just sounds like it by the way I am staying things. I'm not an extremely noble person. I just wonder how far from the norm I am in thinking that I shouldn't tell - that it is really wrong to tell - just because I made an oath.

I don't think there is any good reason to give the secrets away.
But there is a good reason not to. I'm thinking that the really good reason is the oath that I took, regardless of the group, how I feel about the group or anything else.

I'm just wondering if most people would think that I'm taking this too far. Not that what the masses think should direct my actions. I'm trying to gauge my actions in this or similar instances.

If course if I thought my wife was completely distraught by my not telling, I would tell her. It was just a kids club and not as important as my wife's feelings. But she's not distraught and if I just merely tell her because she "just wants to know" or because she's testing the relationship(which she wouldn't do), I'm not going to tell.

At this point, just because of the fact that some posters are in agreement with me, I see that my view might not be coming from a warped, anal, absolute view of right and wrong. Although I can see it both ways...After all it's only a club and for goodness sakes, it's my wife that wants to know.

Sorry for that rambling. I'm coming off of benadryl used as a sleep aid.

Hoppi, your last point allows me to add your post to the ones that are in agreement with my view . I put your post in with the ones that are in agreement with my view as I would tell if the reason was good (although everyone has different levels of justification - but I'm not going on with that).

 

I've made a mountain out of a molehill. I believe I will not tell the secret password or handshake unless I find myself compelled by good reason. I know that kind of goes without saying. At least I feel that I'm not going too far with my not telling my wife.

I'm not trying to act like some morally superior person. After all as I mentioned before I decide my parents and siblings by letting them think that I am still in a particular religion. I guess my good reason there is to not cause them mental turmoil.

Oh well, thanks to all for the input. Sometimes you just have to hear everyone else's thought on something to realize that there are in fact an infinite amount of way of looking at things and it's all subjective.

 

At first, I thought that I would be betraying my wife and myself by making something up, but at the same time it makes so much sense. But also at the same time, if she ever found out from someone else, she would be hurt even more. I doubt she would ever find out from anyone else though. It almost sounds like I'm talking about cheating.

 

Glen, everyone has gotten you loud and clear. Cheap shots at me aren't gonna help you look cheaper. Go change dresses and get ready for your next performance....

 

" my stupid little club'. Your words. Obviously, the "extremely" important little trappings of your "stupid little 20 year old club" are more important than the trust and love of your wife. You sir, need to examine proportionality and relative importance.

 

Would you reveal secrets of an organization that you belong to? -
Ahhhh- never have,,never will.......

 

Aside from a wife(fresh out anyway)--it would depend on what the organizations actions were depending on harmful or helpful actions.

Ahhh--who am I kidding--I've never joined anything/any club in my life. Not a joiner.


Well, guess I did join the National Guard. Knew immediately that was huge mistake. Quit them.

 

"It was the straying that found the path direct" -
Austin Osman Spare

 

The type and importance of the club and the trust and love for my wife don't change the oath. To me, whether or not to break the oath depends on what reasons I have for breaking it. The reason for not breaking the oath is merely the fact that I took the oath. Reasons for breaking the oath could be related to my trust and love for my wife, in that I don't want to lose the trust and love for her. However, if reasons don't jeopardize that trust and love, then trust and love by themselves are not reasons to break that oath. Along the same lines, the importance of the club and the time that has past since I was active in the club do not change the fact that an oath is an oath.

I see your point, but for me, I would have to just weigh the reason for breaking the oath and possible consequences for breaking or not breaking it. I cans see where the guilt from hiding something from someone close does come into play though. That was one of the reasons I originally started having doubts as to my logic in keeping the oath and whether I was taking it too seriously.

 

...
:2thumbsup:

 

Groups are dangerous, and I prefer not to associate with them if I can help it.

That being said, yep, I would probably talk to someone I trusted about their "secrets." I wouldn't tolerate a significant other who kept secrets, even if they were about an organization.

And, seriously, OP, you have a secret handshake?