Would you prefer your partner to be submissive or dominant?

This question really got me going and I just called my BF to ask him what he thinks I am. Without hesitation he said "You LIKE to be dominant but at your core you're submissive."

It's what I thought but he expressed it better than I could. I know that deep down I'm submissive. I do get turned on in a wild, crazy, exhilarating way when I'm being dominant but I feel a much more intense kind of feeling when I'm being submissive.

It feels like I am playing a role when I'm being dominant and just being myself when I'm being submissive.

But I think we can get tangled up with labelling and terminology too because most guys, when this has come up, have described me as aggressive rather than dominant. I sense there is a big difference but I don't know what it is.

I was really shocked the first time a guy told me I was sexually agressive. I had never seen myself as being that way. And he made it sound like a negative thing too but he got me thinking.

I think that probably 'aggressive' fits me better than 'dominant'. I like to wrestle around with a guy and to control things but not to the extent that would be regarded by most people as 'dominant'.

For example I like to control when a guy cums when I'm sucking him off and fucking. I like to push a guy off me and get on top without asking and to hold him down and be a bit rough with him. I like to get on top and control things and fuck him hard and fast. I like to tell a guy what to do and how to do it. I don't know but I think this is more 'aggressive' than 'dominant'.

I know I'm 'submissive' because I go a lot further in that direction. One of my favourite games we play is "Bitch". Oh God I love it although a lot of people are going to think it's way out there. We play lots of games and we have names for all of them 'Dead Girl', 'Hard to Get', 'Prisoner', 'Stalker' too many to list.

When we play 'Bitch' I get naked and he puts a dog collar and a leash on me and I have to stay on all fours the whole time and I am not allowed to speak at all - only make doggy noises to communicate. Like panting when I'm happy, snarling or growling, whimpering. I have to get into 'character' and behave in every way as a dog would do.

He leads me all around the house and treats me just like a real dog. Sometimes it goes on for hours, he pats me, rubs my belly and I react just as a dog would. I just LOVE it - the feeling of the collar around my neck, the gentle tugs on the leash, the release from being human. It's very ahrd to explain in words. It's liberating.

It usually doesn't involve sex but when it does he mounts me from behind and I act as I think a bitch would - bewildered and confused but eager to please my 'master'.

The climax to "Bitch' is when he leads me out into the backyard for a pee. I tremble all over with a really weird yet intense feeling, almost an orgasm as I squat on my 'hind legs' and pee on the grass while he looks down on me and says "Good girl, good girl."

I did say it was out there.

I guess the other indication of my true nature is that once a guy pissed on me when I was sitting on the floor in the bathroom. He grabbed my hair, pulled my head around and pissed all over my face and chest while he stood over me. I'd just peed on him in the shower as a joke, just hooked my leg around his thigh and peed and I guess this was his answer to that.

I had the same trembling all over quasi orgasm as I do when I pee during "Bitch' and yet when I peed on him, sat on his chest and did it, I only felt a fleeing sense of triumph and then nothing.

So to my thinking this is true submissiveness and when I 'dominate' it is more simple aggression than dominance.

I really LOVE this forum because I have never been able to talk about any of this stuff before. I still feel like I am really putting myself out there but I take reassurance from the anonymity and the like minded people I find here.

 

I forgot to include that when I'm with a female I am always the dominant one. Right from the first. Although I've only been with feminine 'girly girl' types not true lesbians. It may be a physical thing though because I run every day and I am pretty fit and physically stronger than most women. But again, it may simply be that I am agressive rather than dominant.

Does anyone see a real difference between agressive and dominant? I get the feeling there is much more to being dominant then just agression.

 

Well I draw the understanding between aggressive and dominant to mean that dominant is whomever is leading the whatever act be it dancing, a sport, or a sex act. You could have a very dominant partner who is not aggressive or into shaming...and probably is quite vanilla but leading.

Being aggressive can range anywhere from a spank to literally the kind of stuff you'd see in bdsm. Its a measure of roughness and its on a gradient.

 

Control me all you want! I've been a bad girl
Now Let me show you my way :gorgeous:

 

this is incredibly hot!

 

Thank you so much for commenting! I felt like I was REALLY going out on a limb with that revelation. The girl-crush is getting stronger. :love:

 

daw.

 

Yesterday after I had taken one of our family members to an appoinment she had, (which was to give me nearly 2 hrs of free time with my wife alone) when I arrived home again, I started to seduce my wife within a few minutes later.She was about to do some house work when I arrived back home, but I suggested a much more enjoyable alternative. (I'm the dominant one - sex wise). I then got myself undressed while she did partly to herself at the sametime. I got to take the remaining clothes off her. We spent the free time we had together, which included me massaging her with a massage/lube type gel & the use of a vibrator & then intercourse followed afterwards.
That was in the middle of the afternoon (in the bedroom) & it was nice & warm outside (20 degrees) & just the same in more ways than one inside!
So that filled in part of our day nicely & she got to experience me suddenly seducing her without any warning. She enjoyed her orgasms just as much as I enjoyed her's & mine as well. I had to go away again & pickup the family member who I'd taken away earlier. Thanks for the time that gave me to seduce my wife. Summer's coming soon, so the hotter it gets the better - she doesn't like the cooler days as she gets asthma. So the warmer it gets the better for the both of us - when we are alone during the daytime on numerous occcassions. Plus I get to see her genitals much better with the sun shining at them thru the window & to see her juices dribbling out! Rolll on Summer !

 

I really LOVE this forum because I have never been able to talk about any of this stuff before. I still feel like I am really putting myself out there but I take reassurance from the anonymity and the like minded people I find here.[/QUOTE]


I agree with you I've been looking for a place just to share my sexual thoughts. Here there is some people that you just want to delete but it's great to hear there opinions to.
You are right your bitch playing is veerry out there but Girl if that what you like good for you. Like I say "a orgasm has no rules" :sunny:

 

hot

 

I agree with you I've been looking for a place just to share my sexual thoughts. Here there is some people that you just want to delete but it's great to hear there opinions to.
You are right your bitch playing is veerry out there but Girl if that what you like good for you. Like I say "a orgasm has no rules" :sunny:[/QUOTE]

Thank you. I found that very reassuring. I had a terrible adolescence and my therapist thinks that my sexual behaviour is a form of overcompensation(making up for lost time) and my 'over-eagerness to please' is driven by insecurity and self loathing. Hahaha. I don't know what I'm paying him for.

It's reassuring to discover that my behviour is not all that uncommon or bizarre.

 

That makes sense.

 

I have to go with both. Sometimes I want to be in charge, and sometimes I want to be worked over.

 

Thank you. I found that very reassuring. I had a terrible adolescence and my therapist thinks that my sexual behaviour is a form of overcompensation(making up for lost time) and my 'over-eagerness to please' is driven by insecurity and self loathing. Hahaha. I don't know what I'm paying him for.

It's reassuring to discover that my behviour is not all that uncommon or bizarre.[/QUOTE]
You'd be very amazed how many people are the same. They are just to shy to admit what's on there mind. I say let it out,scream it,don't hide it! say what's on your mind. We are all human all the same in some ways. Never think your wrong because your not like your neighbor

 

I prefere to dominate and be a little rough.

 

I like to be dominated

 

I prefer to be a sub with guys and a dom with girls but if i had to choose 1 (because there is no both answer ..i would of completely forgot to put that i ntoo!) then id choose dom x

 

I am a switch, somewhere around 50/50 with other girls but about 90% submissive with guys. I love dominant men who can just take me in hand and use and abuse me like a dirty slut :devil:

But it is nice to take control and let the animal inside devour a chunk of man meat every now and then

 

I prefer my husband to be the Dominant one.

 

I finally found a Dominant man (Yeah). Until him I was the one calling the shots.