People always say stuff like follow your heart and express your feelings to the one you love etc. But how would you feel if someone who you didn't have feelings for told you that he/she is in love with you? Would you like to know and why?
I had that happen when I was in high school. There was a guy that I was best friends with. He spilled his heart to me one night. Telling me how much he loved me and all kinds of crazy details he remembered about when we met like what I was wearing (years before). I had NO feelings like that for him. I thought of him as a brother. There was not one tiny piece of me that thought of him romantically. It was slightly awkward for a minute. I just kind of said "Thank you but you're my best friend. We could never date" I tried to let him know that I wasn't the least bit interested without crushing him. We are still friends to this day and that was, I would guess, about 19 years ago. A few months ago we were talking and he said "Do you remember that time we almost hooked up?" I was dumbfounded because as far as I could remember we never "almost hooked up" I told him no. Then he said "OK, maybe it was me telling you that I loved you and you telling me that you weren't interested". I said "Oh yeah, I remember that. I bet you you've 'almost hooked up' with a lot of girls" hahaha. It didn't matter to me that he told me. I never thought of him any differently after that. I just made an effort to make sure I wasn't saying or doing anything to lead him on. He would drive an hour to my house and surprise me by knocking on my bedroom window to wake me up to hang out with me for the day. I guess that sounds a little creepy.
I've had this both ways. I wouldn't be with my current girlfriend if I hadn't plucked up the courage to tell her how I felt. We'd been friends for years and I was terrified of ruining our friendship. Telling her how I felt paid off and we're together On the other hand... I've had one or two friends tell me they had feelings for me. One told me they'd loved me for a long time and I just didn't have any feelings back. It was very awkward and I really didn't know what to say. We're still friends but it took a while to get past that if I'm honest. It didn't destroy our friendship but I'd be lying if I said we carried on just the same afterwards. Basically, it's high risk but when it works it can be amazing. I do think it's better to tell someone because even if it doesn't work out, you're not going to be stuck wondering if you missed out. On the other hand it may change things between you
This has happened several times with me and men. I'm not the best at showing where I stand. I can come off pretty flirty but for to me it's just being nice. I would never ever do anything though. The times it has happened I've just let them know that "I don't feel that way but if you want to and don't feel awkward I would still very much like to be friends". I don't find it awkward myself but one guy I used to know had a problem staying friends with me. Which I completely understand. I wouldn't want to stay friends. I would want to get the HELL outta there and forget about it. I feel bad for letting them down though. Sometimes... Scratch that, I always forget that the word "gay" isn't branded on my forehead. Honestly, to me it's so obvious.
